Church - Place of Sanction or another Vendor?

Last night my FH and I went to our church to discuss the details. It seemed like I was booking another vendor without having the option to choice what I wanted. I was told, no birdseed, no rice, no flowers, etc. Basically the only thing we can have are bubbles and streamers. Then he told me, 'I frown upon having a runner on the carpet'. Then he's discussing the price. Basically they accept a 'Minimum donation of $250' Then you have to pay for the organist, singer, pre-cana, etc. Basically it all added up to almost $600!!! If you are going to call it a donation, than I don't think you should set limits on it. Just seems to me that the church has changed. Seems very political and money oriented. Did I mention when I called the church originally, the asked my name and I told him and I heard him mumble, that's funny, I don't see too many donations here.... seems odd.

Does anyone agree with me on this? If so, did you end up at the church?

Re: Church - Place of Sanction or another Vendor?

That's just horrible. I have actually noticed over the years that churches are becoming more money-oriented. When I was younger I actually remember the priest preaching about how the church needed money during the HOMILY of all things. Anyway, that's off subject, but I wanted to share that with you.

I am not getting married in the church. I am Catholic and my FH is Jewish but non-practicing. I anticipated tons of problems with this so I am just getting married at my hall with an interfaith minister or a Catholic priest that is no longer with the Church.

Re: Church - Place of Sanction or another Vendor?

I was raised as a practicing Catholic (Catholic school all my life including college). The Church is a much different place these days - it's a business. Now in my job (I'm a fund raising consultant), I work closely with churches regularly, and I see them in a whole new light. It's very rare to find a priest - let alone a church - that is primarily interested in the spiritual aspect of marriage. We're all just a revenue stream for them. It's sad!

Personally, I went to my church a few weeks ago to initiate the process for our wedding, and we were so apprehensive because we live together, and we know that's frowned upon. We struggled with whether or not we really wanted to get married within the church, since we don't actively practice our religion. We decided to suck it up, and get married at the church, more for our families than for us (also for our future kids, I guess).

Again, I say it's sad!

Re: Church - Place of Sanction or another Vendor?

Yeah, I was going to try and get married in the church for my parents, but my mom seems to be okay with it, so I'm just going to have a nice outside ceremony with a priest or interfaith minister and not stress the 'not being recognized as being married by the church' part.