How long did you wait for the church / priest to call you back after leaving a message the first time? (This is to set up an initial meeting)
I called Monday morning... still haven't heard back. I waited 2 days (until this morning) to call the rectory back. I called them a few minutes ago and just said I wanted to make sure he wasn't traveling or something. The receptionist was sort of stand-offish like 'No, he just didn't call you back, yet. I gave him the message...' I wasn't accusing her of not, I just wanted to leave another message. I just asked her politely to please leave another message for the priest and left the phone number again.
Was it wrong to call back after 48 hours?
njbound07
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
I don't think so... as this is important to you and you FH.. but they and other vendors just don't see it that way. but I have heard of the churches takeing their time in returning phone calls.. I guess after your last phone call and wait a week.. and then call again.
MrsQ-in2007
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
I had a little trouble trying to organize things over the phone so I just went in person to the rectory, spoke to the girl there and the priest was able to see me that same day (luck I guess). I was without my FH, but he still sat with me for like 30-45 minutes going over the whole process and talking to me about marriage.
When I called back the next day with a question, I got a quick call back. Last night we had our Pre Marital Investigation (I think that's the name) with FH and I and we have our FOCCUS test next month.
I would suggest going in person if you can. Otherwise call back on Friday or Monday morning.
eelharas4700
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
No, I would have followed up too. We have the opposite problem. Our priest is calling my fh and he hasn't gotten back to him. The church is a pretty important factor so I wouldn't worry about the follow up calls.
Kara and Todd
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
Posted by christina&mike07
I don't think so... as this is important to you and you FH.. but they and other vendors just don't see it that way. but I have heard of the churches takeing their time in returning phone calls.. I guess after your last phone call and wait a week.. and then call again.
Well, next week is Thanksgiving and we leave the day after for vacation. I was really hoping to talk to them this week and get a date so we can book our RH. I know you're supposed to book the church first... but we need to book the RH soon! I'd hate to do that and then find out the church or one of the priests we want is not available.
Oh well. I wasn't expecting instant results - I understand that they're busy. I'm just getting anxious about making sure the church and the RH get booked soon.
KD1279
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
My preist gave us his e-mail, he has been great with us. Some of them do know, ask if he has one next time you speak with him
Kara and Todd
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
Posted by kdecamp
My preist gave us his e-mail, he has been great with us. Some of them do know, ask if he has one next time you speak with him
If we get to speak to him ever. We haven't gotten one phone call back, yet...
I'll definitely ask if he's got email when we go see him... or at least a direct line!
Smiles111
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
yes, email worked much better for us also.
I had the same problem initially and when we finally met, the priest basically told me that he deals with things in a certain order....
-crises -death/funerals/consoling the ill and bereaved, etc. -masses, other priestly duties, running youth ministry -weddings.
He said, 'You're a bride. Congratulations. You're not at the top of my list.'
He said it really funny.......which probably won't come across written this way.
But it had been so difficult getting in touch up until then, that my next step was going to be to hold up a boom box outside his window....
Kara and Todd
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
Yes, I do realize I am probably not his top priority right now... I just want one quick meeting!
Patience is not my strong suit. Seriously, I do get it...
I just really do want to book by Thanksgiving before we go away. If it comes down it, I may just book and chance it... but I'm hoping we'll hear back this week sometime. (fingers crossed)
MrsQ-in2007
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
Kara, seriously I FEEL YOU!!! We loved our RH when we first went to it and booked it on the spot (we DID look at many others before)... meanwhile I still had not been able to reach my church! The RH was really good about it and made our contract contingent on having our church's approval for that date, etc. so I felt comfortable enough signing the contract without having been to my church yet. RH gave us 2 weeks to try to get in touch with our church and have a response for our date.
I went the NEXT day in person to the church to find out about our date, but I did NOT mention I had already booked because, you're right, the church is most important.
BUT, I was freaking out because nothing was set in stone, etc. So really, just pass by the church and see if the priest can talk to you. Your wedding is in 8 or so months and I was freaking out at my one year mark. I'm sure you won't have a problem, but me personally, I would not wait for a call back since next week is a holiday and then you'll be away... then it's Christmas time and brides will be an even lower priority. Go this week in person - that's my advice. Good luck!
Kara and Todd
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
When can I possibly go in person, though?
I work 60+ hours a week in Manhattan and commute from Long Island. I would have to go on Saturday, and I'm not even sure there is someone in the rectory then.
My understanding is that at my church, you have to have the date approved by the priest who will marry you.
Grrr... I guess I could always book if I don't get in touch with them and then have the ceremony at a different church (like the one near my current home) if I had to, but I don't want to.
It's not like I've been procrastinating either - we've only been engaged a couple of weeks! We're just trying to get the wedding in before my parents move next year!
ali120206
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
I know my rectory has Saturday morning hours, I'd see if yours does as well so you don't have to take time off work.
We called and set up an appt right away but, had to go in to meet with the priest to pick a date. He's been great with returning phone calls. He's not the one marrying us, he's just handling the paperwork which is really nice.
He gave me my list of things I needed to do and today, for some reason, I wanted to call and check in and he wants to meet with us again next Wednesday. It's going to be a little difficult, I wish he put that on my to do list sooner. I'm hoping he forgot he's not actually performing the mass!
kflan75
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
try leaving another message tonight, after the secretary leaves... but definitely dont book your hall before--- you never know what dates are open / times etc... and it can get hairy....
i think calling only shows your interest, and isn't annoying at all.
MrsQ-in2007
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
Ah, difficult work schedule you have! My church's rectory is open 7 days a week but only limited hours on Saturday/Sunday. We too had to have our priest that will marry us approve the date.
Try calling again and ask what time your priest will be there on Saturday so that you can stop by to meet with him.
Tell the lady that with the holiday next week and you being away, and with wanting to have your wedding in July, you are really concerned with getting the first meeting in with the priest.
If you fall in love with a hall, you could always ask them to do what my RH did (make the contract contingent on having the date approved by your church, and if your date is not approved, that the RH will accomodate you on another date that the church has open)... this is only a last resort if you absolutely find a RH that you LOVE and the price is right etc.
Good luck! Its so stressful when you're trying to get things done but the cards don't fall right!
carlsbride
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
Have you tried talking to him after mass?
Kara and Todd
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
Posted by carlsbride
Have you tried talking to him after mass?
Nope, b/c I only started calling this week... and our church does not publish who will be saying what mass... so I can't find out ahead of time what mass he is saying.
Also, it's my parents' parish. Normally, I go to the church closer to home on weekends. (Though this is the parish I grew up in / was in until last year). My parents are very active in the church and all the priests know them... My dad may ask the pastor to call me if he sees him this week.
Agas
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
this is so funny b/c I am going thru the EXACT same thing. I think that all the receptionists at the church are a little bitchy!!!! :) Don't take it personally!
shelbygirl
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
I called my church waited 2 weeks to get a call back from a priest that hardly spoke english only to understand his name. Then I called back again to make an appointment nobody returned my phone call. I called my fiance's church and spoke to someone who had an I.Q. of my shoe she actually called me 3 times in two min. Do u think I got to speak to a priest......NOPE. I almost gave up I ended up walking into my church and made an appointment in person. Was that a sign? Hehe
lisalisa27
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
I believe they think we have time. One lady told me they will get back to me in Jan. they are handling 06 weddings now. Well excuse the heck out of me.
Kara and Todd
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Re: church / priest returning phone calls...
After leaving the message yesterday AM, I still haven't heard back.
This is not a church that doesn't know us -- My brothers and I went to the school there, and my family has been active in the parish for over 35 years. It's not like we just called up and were like 'Hi, we want to get married in your church, but we've never been there before...'
I'm just frustrated. If I hear nothing today, I'm calling the pastor of the church tomorrow instead. He married one of my brothers. My dad said he'd be seeing him this week and would ask him to call me, anyway.
I get that they are busy and I'm not their #1 priority... but 4 days to return a phone call is just plain rude IMHO.
I know they don't see it the same way I do, but I would really appreciate a call back. The conversation will literally take about 5 minutes MAX - just need to schedule a meeting!
