Church Vent

2 months ago I called my FH's church and am told the Pastor is on vacation and she will call me back - which she does - 2 weeks later. We speak, she takes information (again - the secretary also took the same information) and she tells me to call her in Sept. to set up a time for FH and I to come to visit with her for the first time. Last Monday, I call and she isn't in, but they will have her call me. The secretary calls today and tells me 'she can't marry you' - no reason was given. When I asked what the reason was, the secretary said the Pastor didn't give her a reason. I told her that wasn't good enough and proceeded to repeat all of the prior conversations and how I was supposed to call her in Sept. - her response was 'I don't know what to tell you'. My wedding is in 7 months - thank god I didn't do my invitations yet!!

Sorry - I had to get that out!!

Gosh, that is terrible. What kind of Pastor is that... Sorry to hear of your dilemma.

Maybe look around for another church.

I would definitly have your FH call his own church and demand a reason for why you arent allowed to get married there.


Is it a matter of the pastor not being there/ the church being booked or what???

He is entitled to get married there if it is his church ....I would raise a little HELL with them for being so rude

I know that I have heard of church's being mad that people book the halls first. They say the whole point of the day is the ceremony not the party and that you should always talk to the church first, see what dates they are available, and then go see halls. In my church many people talk to halls get many dates and then pretend to talk to the church first so that they don't get upset.
Not that I agree with this bc I think it is a lot harder to book a hall then a church (although i can see the ceremony being more important point) but this may be the reason why the church can't marry you.
Also are you the same religion as FH. If not maybe she has a problem with that. All in all i think you have a right to know and that FH should call because he has a relationship with the church and may be able to get more out of the pastor. Def. think he should talk directly to the pastor though.

Well - we knew when we wanted to get married and we checked the dates at the hall, but specifically didn't book it until after I spoke with the Pastor. So that isn't the issue.

We are also the same religion. That's not an issue.

I'm divorced, and I asked her if that was a problem and she said no. So I can't see that as being an issue.

I think she scheduled her vacation and it conflicts!! Her secretary slipped yesterday on the phone about her usual vacation time being right around then. I just think that's terrible!

I'm very angry right now so my FH is going to have to take care of this or my FMIL. Obvioulsy I will have to find another church, but I still want answers. I deserve that much, right?

On that note: anyone know of a Lutheran church in Suffolk County? Hauppauge Lake Grove, Ronkonkoma area? Thanks.