Civil ceremony question

Has anyone had/know of anyone who's had a civil ceremony that was done by a friend who's not a minister or judge (a la Joey on Friends)? We'd really like to do this, but aren't sure about the legality of it. I've heard conflicting stories from different people - including my town hall!

My FH and I are both non-practicing, but both have fairly religious parents. They are ok with us having a non-religious ceremony... My uncle had exactly the same situation and had a justice of the peace who was AWFUL! He couldn't even be bothered to learn their names. We just thought it would be so much more meaningful if someone who knows us did it...

Thanks!

Re: Civil ceremony question

We have a friend who is doing our ceremony. However, he is a former minister. BUT I can ask him because I think he told me that if I did not want god to be mentioned in the ceremony that he could marry us as a notary public. I had never heard of that so he said he is looking into it. When he lets me know I will let you know.

Re: Civil ceremony question

Thanks so much!!!

I really want to do this, but I feel like I keep hitting brick walls and getting all this confusing information....

Re: Civil ceremony question

farah...we did this and its completely legal if you follow NYS law...

we had a good friend of ours become ordained via the internet via ULC

there are restrictions...
1.you can NOT do this is NYC...I think Kingston as well, but on LI its fine
2.the person MUST be a resident of NYS
3.Article 3, §12 of the Domestic Relations Law of New York states how a marriage may be solemnized. 'No particular form
or ceremony is required when a marriage is solemnized as herein provided by a clergyman or magistrate, but the parties
must solemnly declare in the presence of a clergyman or magistrate and the attending witness or witnesses that they
take each other as husband and wife. In every case at least one witness beside the clergyman or magistrate must be
present at the ceremony.' (Theoretically then a marriage ceremony can, if properly worded and carefully choreographed,
be performed in under 5 sec.)

so just as long as you say you want to get married together...


just to let you know...I had to prepare the entire ceremony myself and you still have to get the marriage license...then after the ceremony...we signed it...he signed it...and my sister (NYS resident) and his brother signed (one witness only is needed from NYS...but they have the space for two)

we received our marriage certificate...so everything is legal!!

email me if you have any questions

Re: Civil ceremony question

Yabb, do you remember where you got all this information? I would love to check the site out...our person is not a NYS resident so now I am a little worried.

Re: Civil ceremony question

Deb...I actually looked at the NYS Domestic Relations Law...

the ordaining was through the ULC (Universal Life Church)...they accept all faiths to provide services like weddings and such to people who have trouble the traditional way (I called a few judges and they were very crotchity)

NYS says that the place the person is ordained from, must have a building that provides periodical services...there is a building in CA...

but NYS says that the officiant and witness must be NYS residents...I'm not sure you can get around this...no one would probably know, but do you want to risk it?


We were also thinking about going to Town Hall a few days before and having the ceremony and then having a mock one on the 'wedding day' ...you could try that too...or find someone who lives in NY

here's whats on NYS' website...but I actually looked at section 11 domestic relations law...I can't seem to find it now though...

NYS marriage law

Re: Civil ceremony question

By clicking on the link you just provided I copy and pasted this:

The person performing the ceremony must be registered with the City of New York in order to perform a ceremony within the New York City limits. The officiant does not have to be a resident of New York State. Ship captains are not authorized to perform marriage ceremonies in New York State.

So I think it is all good

Re: Civil ceremony question

Thanks so much Yabbobay! I feel so much better knowing we can do this! We were thinking of going the ULC route, but then we were concerned about the whole building rule... Did you have to have your ceremony approved or were there any guidelines you had to follow? My brother (NYS resident) is going to be so excited, as he's the one who would do the ceremony...

Good luck Debbie08 with your ceremony!

Re: Civil ceremony question

Thanks Farah! Having your brother perform the ceremony is going to be such a nice touch! I wish you all the luck with it!