Also I know a bunch of my friends who have waited up to a year to get the gift for the couple... it happens regularly.
I had to wait awhile for one friend. I was in the BP, and between dress, hair, shower, BP I was tapped out. So I sent it to her almost 4 months later.
FTRBRIDE
Posted:
Member since
Re: CNN article
Posted by coxmandi
Posted by SUNSHINE24
I dont believe in doubling the plate. i Say you give what you can afford to give, but most people know that you are getting married 3 months before and they should be able to save more then 50 or even 75.00. Thats cheap.
That is pretty insulting. Who is anyone to judge what someone else can afford? The whole concept of 'covering your plate' is not a nationwide thing. Where I live in VA people wouldn't think you were cheap if you gave 75 as a gift. Weddings seem to be more about the marriage and not as much about gifts and parties.
What Sunshine said is realistic, not insulting. What you said, however, not only insulting, it is incorrect. New Yorkers who are getting married are very much doing it b/c they are in love. People in VA are not more in tune to that than couploes anywhere else. If they were, Virginia wouldn't have a higher rate of divorce than NY does. Just b/c people in NY might have more resources to have a big party doesn't mean they have lost sight of what it is all about.
Bottom line, if you go to a NY wedding you're expected to give a NY gift. If you go to a VA wedding, whatever is acceptable in that locale goes.
coxmandi
Posted:
Member since
Re: CNN article
Posted by FTRBRIDE
Posted by coxmandi That is pretty insulting. Who is anyone to judge what someone else can afford? The whole concept of 'covering your plate' is not a nationwide thing. Where I live in VA people wouldn't think you were cheap if you gave 75 as a gift. Weddings seem to be more about the marriage and not as much about gifts and parties.
What Sunshine said is realistic, not insulting. What you said, however, not only insulting, it is incorrect. New Yorkers who are getting married are very much doing it b/c they are in love. People in VA are not more in tune to that than couploes anywhere else. If they were, Virginia wouldn't have a higher rate of divorce than NY does. Just b/c people in NY might have more resources to have a big party doesn't mean they have lost sight of what it is all about.
Bottom line, if you go to a NY wedding you're expected to give a NY gift. If you go to a VA wedding, whatever is acceptable in that locale goes.
Are people in NY worth more than people in other states? Do you care about your friends more in NY? I'm having a NY wedding, its expensive, my VA friends think I'm nuts for spending the kind of money that we are. Do I expect them to know 'LI standards'?? NO. I expect them to enjoy my wedding. Gifts are certainly appreciated whether its $50 or $500.
Goldi1021
Posted:
Member since
Re: CNN article
Posted by coxmandi
That is pretty insulting. Who is anyone to judge what someone else can afford? The whole concept of 'covering your plate' is not a nationwide thing. Where I live in VA people wouldn't think you were cheap if you gave 75 as a gift. Weddings seem to be more about the marriage and not as much about gifts and parties.
I agree. Weddings SHOULD be about marriage.
There are some people who go to weddings with blank checks and after the wedding determine their gift based on what they think was spent per plate. There are some who know ahead of time. There are some who don't give at all.
The bottom line is this: If someone asks you how the wedding was and you say 'The food was great(or not great)' then you should stay home. A wedding isn't about food, or how many flowers in the centerpiece or if the DJ gave you a blow-up guitar and oversized sunglasses. It is about celebrating two families coming together and the love between a man and a woman.
I know there are people invited to my wedding who will give a lot and some who will give a little if at all. That would not keep them off the guest list. I want them there for who they are, not for what they can give - just as much as they should come not for a meal but to share my happiness.
Mrs. dleeny
Posted:
Member since
Re: CNN article
I know there are people invited to my wedding who will give a lot and some who will give a little if at all. That would not keep them off the guest list. I want them there for who they are, not for what they can give - just as much as they should come not for a meal but to share my happiness. VERY well said!
