Do you ever get cold feet? I know sometimes it doesnt happen...but I'm completely honest here...I get scared. I sometimes dont know if i can deal with him forever.....
last night i went out with just the girls to a bar and my friend is married already and i asked her if she ever got freaked out by getting married. Then she said well no not before but now I wonder if it was worth it marrying him-I was like wow thats real encouraging!!!!
Im sorry everyone-but I am outright scared. I know its 2 yrs away but still......when these thoughts come into my head I panic
LnF0405
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Re: cold feet
I think is normal.... Sometimes I feel that I miss the feelings of the first date or I get scared that we are going to grow apart. Specially b/c our respective parent are divorce, I get scared that all this love will finish one day and we finish like my parents, arguing like cats and dogs.
DINAAMATUCCIO
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Re: cold feet
Wow I cant wait to meet with you girls at the GTG because we are all sooo much alike ... I feel exactly the same way!!!!!
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: cold feet
If I said I had a perfect relationship I would be an outright LIAR---I guess everyone has their problems. Theres some that dont and I gotta give them credit for it.
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: cold feet
This is totally normal. I think everyone who is in a long term relationship worries is this the right choice. It is hard to keep the 'first date' feeling. And I think it takes a little bit of work. I know sometimes we nag each other or argue, but I love that am so comfortable with him. That is something that is lacking in the first date feeling, ya know? Donna, you are right, everyone has their problems and nobody's relationships is person. it is the girl that says 'everything is ALWAYS perfect' that I worry about...somewhere down the line, they will find out tht it isnt perfect and it never was and it will be too late...
That is what happened to my sister. They were together since they were 15 (she is know 28). They 'never fought' and had the 'dream relationship.' Now theya re divorced. So it isnt you the person who is worried or doubting a bit that i worry for...its girls like my sis! Dont worry...this is normal!
sorry for the longwinded response!
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: cold feet
No not at all a longwinded reply. Im glad to hear you guys and your thoughts on this....makes me not feel so alone. I was like should I even post this??? hehe but im glad I did I like to be out in the open!
LnF0405
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Re: cold feet
Im so glad we brought that topic..... b/c I dont know who to ask or at least say this type of thing. I think if I tell to one of my friend they will probably say somenthing like why are you planning a wedding then... (they are single)
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: cold feet
OMG yes I completely understand....like last night when i was out with my friends. One is married and the other is very single-but always has to have a guy 'around'-needless to say she always like SO JUST DUMP HIM THEN!!!!!!!!!
I dont know why youre blowing your money on a wedding when you get like this....
is it jealousy or what?! I dont get it!
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: cold feet
Correction-that post came out wrong...
I dont know why youre blowing your money on a wedding when you get like this....
this is what my friend says to me
I wasnt saying it to any of you guys! Just had to clear it up
LnF0405
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Re: cold feet
Posted by DonnaPWhite1124
OMG yes I completely understand....like last night when i was out with my friends. One is married and the other is very single-but always has to have a guy 'around'-needless to say she always like SO JUST DUMP HIM THEN!!!!!!!!!
I dont know why youre blowing your money on a wedding when you get like this....
is it jealousy or what?! I dont get it!
I dont think is jealousy they will understand the day they are in our position
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: cold feet
yeah I guess so....you never know how things are until youre in someone elses shoes...if one of my friends were getting married after I was married I would be more than willing to lend a hand AND reassure her that these things are normal...I wouldnt be like SO DUMP HIM THEN!!! ya know?
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: cold feet
yeah.thats terribly insensitive...but youre right, she probably just doesnt know what this feels like since she has never been there...
Tori9299
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Re: cold feet
Yeah I'm with you sometimes I wonder how this is going to work forever. I just wish I could pack his stuff sometimes and never talk to him again, well at least for a week or 2 and really see how I feel about him. But really when you think about nobody is perfect, So many guys are so much the same, so why start over when it's going to be the same bull $%*#. I really think I would miss him. He just changes his moods to much it drives me crazy.
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: cold feet
yep believe me i know exactly what youre talking about....
its like theyre the ones with the PMS!
Ann 52409
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Re: cold feet
Posted by lmt245
This is totally normal. I think everyone who is in a long term relationship worries is this the right choice. It is hard to keep the 'first date' feeling. And I think it takes a little bit of work. I know sometimes we nag each other or argue, but I love that am so comfortable with him. That is something that is lacking in the first date feeling, ya know? Donna, you are right, everyone has their problems and nobody's relationships is person. it is the girl that says 'everything is ALWAYS perfect' that I worry about...somewhere down the line, they will find out tht it isnt perfect and it never was and it will be too late...
That is what happened to my sister. They were together since they were 15 (she is know 28). They 'never fought' and had the 'dream relationship.' Now theya re divorced. So it isnt you the person who is worried or doubting a bit that i worry for...its girls like my sis! Dont worry...this is normal!
sorry for the longwinded response!
i completely agree with what you said, i think we all have that insecurity sometime about whether or not this is really the one forvever. I'm so glad somebody said it because I have never said it out loud
Espo22
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Re: cold feet
This is a HUUUUUUUUGE step we're all taking in our lives so it's only normal to get nervous, especially looking at statistics of marriage lol. There is nothing wrong with you, you're just human like everyone else lol. Anything that will bring change to our lives will make us question it, whether its a new job, moving somewhere different, picking a career and so on.
Are there people who get married and really shouldn't? yes of course but just think about whether you can imagine spending the rest of your life with someone else...Do you fight? you probably do like every couple, even if its not frequent couples will fight at one point or another. Fh and I used to never fight so when we had a few it was like NOOO whats going on here. My problem was i compared to a past relationship that i was in for YEARSSSSSS, and we fought ALL the time and i said i never wanted any of that again even if i dont ever get married I don't care. But i looked at my relationship overall and knew how great it is. I mean just for the fact that i want to marry him proved that to me considering i was with someone for a very long period of time and had no interest to get married bc all i kept thinking was oh god what kind of life would we have together which should've been a big clue then.
But at the end of the day even after or during fights theres nobody else you'd rather be fighting with and even when you're at your maddest with them you still want them near you. Theres alot more to it of course but you should know whether this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
ellyoxox
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Re: cold feet
wow, this topic couldn't have come up at a better time! i have had such a bad day.. fh was in a mood all day and we ended up getting into a fight and for the last 2 hours i've been so upset and it *****. we hardly ever fight so when we do, its like the worst thing in the world to me so i always think should we really be getting married. i feel a little bit better knowing that everyone else feels like this sometimes too.
SOTHISISLOVE53109
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Re: cold feet
I was just talking about this the other day with my Mom and I got so upset. I was telling here that I know he is the one for me, he is the love of my life - BUT sometimes I dont know if I can deal with him or his issues foreverrrrrrrr...also there is always that little thought in the back of my mind is there someone else out there that is really made for me. I feel terrible thinking that way...but i do. I guess it's normal and I told my Mom that I don't want to be standing at the end of the isle and thinking to myself..am I making a mistake?
So this is the best part...Dear Mother looks at me so seriously and say well Heather you can always get a divorce if your not happy!...I was like Ma...that's more expensive than a wedding. She is brutally honest that's why I love her.
but I totally thinks its normal to get scared and then I look at him and it all goes away
Plus I'm with him 71/2 years...so I know whats coming
JTsGal829
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Re: cold feet
I def. feel this way too sometimes. FH and i have some things we both need to work on and we know it.. so sometimes we argue about it and in that moment i'm like ughhhh why i am doing this. Sometimes i wonder weather he's the one or if it's just cause we've been together so long now that it just naturally seemed like the next step... But then i step back and think... can i see someone else living with me? Can i picture anyone but him making me mad the way he does..?? probably not because usually i'm the most mad when he does something stupid like drinks too much..and it's cause i then get worried about him.. If i didn't love him ..well then i guess i wouldn't care!!! Yea of course i miss those first date feelings, those honeymoon months when we were so lovey dovey and couldn't be away from each other for more than a day... but that's gonna fade most of the time, cause that's life.. you move in and you see one another every day and it's hard to still get butterflies when you're doing someones dirty laundry i guess..lol.. but i always remind myself that i wouldn't want to do it for anyone else.. so that's my answer!!! It's totally normal... i mean we don't have a crystal ball.. so we can't see for sure if this is gonna last forever and ever, but that's what love is about..taking that chance for the one person you want to be with... not who you think you're supposed to be with .
Ann 52409
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Re: cold feet
GTSgal... you are so right, I couldn't have put it better myself. I feel like you just wrote what I was feeling as i was looking at FH this morning