cold feet...

lmr2282 Posted: May 13, 2009 10:28 AM

cold feet...

I am getting them ladies.. Lately I am getting really nervouse and I have some doubts.

CandB4604 Posted: May 13, 2009 10:30 AM

Re: cold feet...

About what exactly? How the day will go? Or your relationship? Feel free to share - we're here!

geegee827 Posted: May 13, 2009 10:31 AM

Re: cold feet...

doubts about FH or doubts about the whole weding thing?

lmr2282 Posted: May 13, 2009 10:42 AM

Re: cold feet...

Doubts about FH and everything.... I dont know why but lately I find myself picking fights with him over everything. And I am just doubting him, us, everything

KellymKuehn Posted: May 13, 2009 10:42 AM

Re: cold feet...

It could just be the stress of the wedding planning making you freak out?

Have you talked to him about it?

lmr2282 Posted: May 13, 2009 10:43 AM

Re: cold feet...

Yes, we've talked but I feel like we get no where

geegee827 Posted: May 13, 2009 10:53 AM

Re: cold feet...

Have you considered talking to a couples counselor?

debzy Posted: May 13, 2009 10:56 AM

Re: cold feet...

Posted by geegee827

Have you considered talking to a couples counselor?

I was going to suggest the same. It might help you sort out your feelings and find some answers.

jsha20 Posted: May 13, 2009 10:58 AM

Re: cold feet...

I hear you. Yesterday I went insane and got so mad at FH. I want to marry him but sometimes I don't handle stress well and I think FH doesnt cut me any slack. We're getting married in 9 days so of course I am on edge. He never gets that, though.

Hang in there and take it one day at a time. You still have months to go so what's stressing you out so much right now?

Juhgail Posted: May 13, 2009 11:02 AM

Re: cold feet...

I think that doubs and cold feet are normal.

I also think that if you are REALLY having problems, go get some help.

I love the FH. We dont fight, but he does drive me crazy. )

Getting married is scarey. You are deciding to stay with someone for the rest of your life. It measn obligations and it means your life will change.

But its joy and happiness. KNowing yuou have someone to depend on and who is on your side.

You can have doubts like you are scared, Its ok. But if you are really having problems, talk to soeone. Get help.

Riag24 Posted: May 13, 2009 11:44 AM

Re: cold feet...

Posted by lmr2282

I am getting them ladies.. Lately I am getting really nervouse and I have some doubts.

Please really think about what you are having doubts about - I have been there before and trust me if you are having doubts about your decision it will not go just go away and dont let anyone tell you differently -
I made the decision to walk away from an engagement years ago and it was for a reason - When it is the right person who will not have any doubts - That is where I am at now - I am so happy I waited - Too big of a decision to hope for the best

FM me if you want to talk

springsandra Posted: May 13, 2009 11:58 AM

Re: cold feet...

I would honestly suggest stepping away from the wedding planning for a few days and just stop thinking about and obsessing over everything wedding related as a break for yourself and your FH.

Concentrate a little on just life with FH and life itself and go day-to-day for a little while without the 'the wedding is looming' feeling. See how it feels.

The stress of the wedding itself can be monumental. The stress of any relationship you've been in for a while can be overwhelming from time to time. That doesn't necessarily mean that doubts or insecurities you're having mean you're making a mistake. It could also mean there's something else going on in your world that you're uncomfortable with and you're looking for a solution for that.

When FH was having a lot of trouble at work 2 years ago, we were fighting a lot. He'd leave my place and call me and say he wasn't happy and he didn't know why. One time he said he thought we needed a break because he couldn't figure out why he was just sad and cranky all the time.

Turns out, it wasn't us -- it was the routine he was in at work at a job he hated and felt stifled by. It took a while for him to figure out that was what it was. It took a lot of us crying about 'us' before he realized just what the problem was, and it wasn't 'us' at all.

If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. If you just want an ear to listen or bounce things off of, there are many of us totally willing to listen and help.

Feel better & FM if you want!!! HUGS!!

gina409 Posted: May 13, 2009 12:09 PM

Re: cold feet...

if u feel ts more about u and fh as a couple rather than just the stress of the weddng..cause we r all stressed and can tend to fight more with fh..then u guys should consider counsling...if talking to him does not hlp u really need to bring in the third party before u go through with this.....u should not have one single doubt in ur headwhen u go down the aisle...good luck

MirabellaNYC Posted: May 13, 2009 06:08 PM

Re: cold feet...

Posted by gina409

if u feel ts more about u and fh as a couple rather than just the stress of the weddng..cause we r all stressed and can tend to fight more with fh..then u guys should consider counsling...if talking to him does not hlp u really need to bring in the third party before u go through with this.....u should not have one single doubt in ur headwhen u go down the aisle...good luck

ITA

MrsCastanedain09 Posted: May 13, 2009 06:13 PM

Re: cold feet...

Posted by MirabellaNYC

Posted by gina409

if u feel ts more about u and fh as a couple rather than just the stress of the weddng..cause we r all stressed and can tend to fight more with fh..then u guys should consider counsling...if talking to him does not hlp u really need to bring in the third party before u go through with this.....u should not have one single doubt in ur headwhen u go down the aisle...good luck

ITA

Perfectly said Gina!

MC127 Posted: May 13, 2009 06:30 PM

Re: cold feet...

Not sure but this is always a suggestion to go your religious office for help.

coldasice217 Posted: May 13, 2009 06:34 PM

Re: cold feet...

I understand how you feel 100%. My advise would be to stop planning for a while, and concentrate on yourself and FH. Take a ride out east, go to dinner, do things together, reconnect.

If you still find yourself having problems after that, try to seek professional counseling, whether it be a therapist or a member of the clergy.

If that still doesn't work....then it's a tough decision only you can make. Good luck with whatever you do.

NikkiR515 Posted: May 13, 2009 07:47 PM

Re: cold feet...

Posted by coldasice217

I understand how you feel 100%. My advise would be to stop planning for a while, and concentrate on yourself and FH. Take a ride out east, go to dinner, do things together, reconnect.

If you still find yourself having problems after that, try to seek professional counseling, whether it be a therapist or a member of the clergy.

If that still doesn't work....then it's a tough decision only you can make. Good luck with whatever you do.

I completely agree! there was a period of time where fh and I would fight CONSTANTLY... It seemed like every day it was something new and it really made me doubt us.. When I took a break from the wedding and put my focus on us as a couple, things got a lot better! Sometimes the stress of planning can really make you nuts and you wont know for sure what is causing the doubts until you step back from the planning for a bit.. I really hope everything works out!!!

kristentinnelly Posted: May 13, 2009 07:52 PM

Re: cold feet...

I completely understand where you are coming from. I was freaking out last month with the wedding that I was picking fights with FH too. After talking to FH it calmed me down alot b/c I was so stressed with the wedding planning, not with FH himself. I would talk to FH again I'm sure its the planning that has gotten to you. Its alot to handle by yourself

Mich2585 Posted: May 13, 2009 07:54 PM

Re: cold feet...

FH and I have had a few annoying bad fights ... and of course when were in the middle of fight I start thinking 'am i doing the right thing?' when i take a step back i realize that wedding planing + grad school + my first year of teaching = STRESS and honeslty the highligh of my day is FH. Even though sometimes he pisses me off (like by asking for a TV when we have no money haha) umm I LOVE HIM and we have a great time together ... i think once all this wedding stuff is over things will get even better than they are now ... the extra stress doesnt help a relationship and sometimes i cant wait until this whole thing is OVER haha ... good luck