Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
Chrissywish
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Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
Although our wedding is still almost 2 years away, lately we have been discussing the RD and who we will invite. The last poll did not have sides, but here is the full story, both sides included.
My Argument: I think our RD should include the bridal party, grandparents, those in the ceremony, and our OOT guests. I want to include the OOT guests because every wedding I have traveled to I was invited to the RD and would not feel right not inviting these people to mine after they extended the courtesy to me and my family. They are also people I want there. When we went for our food tasting FH's parents asked about the RD and I told them what I was thinking and they were fine with everything. FH's parents figured it would be about 50 people and my aim is to keep it in that ballpark. My OOT guests equal about 15 - 21 people, are all aunts/uncles/godparents, and depending on who will be here and how many people the total number equals we may not invite all the cousins, but just the aunts and uncles.
His Argument: I think that its to expensive to have almost 70 people at RD It's almost like a mini wedding. If her family aunts and uncles get to go why dont my aunts/ uncles and her aunts and uncles who are local get to come. So i said leave it to bridal party and grandparents thats it. Less expenisve for my dad. Also some of her OOT guest arent related.
Kimbalina
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Re: ERRRRRRRR!!!!! Look what FH Did?!?!?!
When I read through some of The Knot books it said to invinte the OOT's. But if not, just go visit with them where ever they are. I read on some oneselses post theat they are having the rehersal dinner a week before so that they would not have to invite the OOT.
JldDolphin
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Re: ERRRRRRRR!!!!! Look what FH Did?!?!?!
I know I have read plenty of things saying that you are supposed to invite the OOT guests, but that is a lot of people to have at your RD. Maybe move the RD up a week like the other bride said. If this doesn't include the OOT guests on your FH side, that doesn't seem very fare IMO. Or maybe you could have these OOT guests over to your Mom's house for a little get together before the wedding. I see you are having your reception at WCC. You will love it. We had ours there. Read my review. I should be getting my pro pics soon. Good Luck with this!
Chrissywish
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
Posted by JldDolphin
I know I have read plenty of things saying that you are supposed to invite the OOT guests, but that is a lot of people to have at your RD. Maybe move the RD up a week like the other bride said. If this doesn't include the OOT guests on your FH side, that doesn't seem very fare IMO. Or maybe you could have these OOT guests over to your Mom's house for a little get together before the wedding. I see you are having your reception at WCC. You will love it. We had ours there. Read my review. I should be getting my pro pics soon. Good Luck with this!
I read your review, and loved it!!!! Absolutely beautiful wedding!!! I especially paid attention because you were right around the time that my wedding would be. Please post your pro-pics. I can't wait to see them!!!!
MrsBrags7706
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
For the RD - -Bride and groom -All members of ur BP, [including spouses or long time gf or bf that are NOT in the wedding party -Parents -Speakers [at church or ceremoony] -OOt guests only if they are of the immediate family, or if one of their children are in the BP -Grandparents [alot are generally speakers]
How we did it - was: Me, DH, my parents, DH's grandparents [his grandpa was a speaker] all members of BP with their wives [2 couples were married so that worked out good] the 4 children tha were out RB &FG. one kid's mom wasn't a bp member, she was a speaker, so we invted her, with her husband. and we also invited any BP members [obviously] with their husbands even if they werent in the Bp. and we also invited DH's mom's sister & her husband, cause 3/4 of her kids were in the BP! worked out great! theres was basically., the IMMEDIATE family of both me and dh's side!
good luck! but it is very appropriate, like i said, to invite the spouse of someone who is in the Bp, even if the spouse is not in the bp.
MrsBrags7706
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
one of the BM was fro, FL, but we also had the wrd one week before the wedding, but if they were up, we would have invited her mother and father, and son and my grandmother. but theyre all from fl, so they werent thre!
Kara and Todd
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
I don't think it would be fair to invite your aunts and uncles who are OOT and not invite your FH's aunts and uncles -- especially since it looks like his parents are paying for the dinner?
If one of your aunts / uncles was local and the rest were OOT, would you exclude that one aunt / uncle since they weren't from OOT? I think it needs to be fair to both sides.
If his parents are hosting, I think to some extent, this should be a decision to consult them on.
JldDolphin
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
Posted by Chrissywish
Posted by JldDolphin
I know I have read plenty of things saying that you are supposed to invite the OOT guests,
I read your review, and loved it!!!! Absolutely beautiful wedding!!! I especially paid attention because you were right around the time that my wedding would be. Please post your pro-pics. I can't wait to see them!!!!
Oh Thank you! We had a great time. I will post my pro pics as soon as I get them. Hopefully in the next week or two.
Hamptonsbride06
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
we closed a restaurant for the evening, they charged us what they normally made on a Thursday night, it was a flat fee, regardless the number of guests we had, so we invited all family, aunts uncles, blah blah blah, and bp
TreAnt425
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
I voted for only Bridal Party because that is what we are doing. It can get too crazy otherwise - Sorry Chrissy
stealthgroom
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
I'm with MrsBrags on this. Some kind of compromise between the two positions.
Posted by MrsBrags7706
For the RD - -Bride and groom -All members of ur BP, [including spouses or long time gf or bf that are NOT in the wedding party -Parents -Speakers [at church or ceremoony] -OOt guests only if they are of the immediate family, or if one of their children are in the BP -Grandparents [alot are generally speakers]
Chrissywish
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
Posted by TreAnt425
I voted for only Bridal Party because that is what we are doing. It can get too crazy otherwise - Sorry Chrissy
Tre....It's all good....We were arguing about it and he said let's see what LIWeddings said. I want a compromise and I'm not going to go crazy. We just wanted to see what some of the opinions out there were!!!
And I promise...I am not trying to exclude all of his family andonly include mine. I'm just trying to figure out that happy medium.
malagian
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
We are only doing bridal party (plus a guest) Parents- Anone doing reading or any other helpers during the ceremony. Basic and simple. And of cource brothers and sisters.
greenfreak
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
We didn't have a traditional wedding party, and thus, we didn't have a RH either.
But knowing all the other things that need to be done, and the costs that pile up over time, I wouldn't invite the OOT'ers if I were in your spot.
There are other things you can do to make the OOT'ers feel special besides inviting them to the RH. My OOT'ers were local enough that they didn't stay overnight and drove home the same day, so I don't even know if they could be considered real OOT'ers.
Good luck, whatever you decide!
TreAnt425
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
Posted by Chrissywish
Posted by TreAnt425
I voted for only Bridal Party because that is what we are doing. It can get too crazy otherwise - Sorry Chrissy
Tre....It's all good....We were arguing about it and he said let's see what LIWeddings said. I want a compromise and I'm not going to go crazy. We just wanted to see what some of the opinions out there were!!!
And I promise...I am not trying to exclude all of his family andonly include mine. I'm just trying to figure out that happy medium.
You guys have to figure out what is going to work best you and your guests. We aren't having a lot of OOT guests so we decided to keep it to the bridal party only.
DandS
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
Posted by Kara and Todd
I don't think it would be fair to invite your aunts and uncles who are OOT and not invite your FH's aunts and uncles -- especially since it looks like his parents are paying for the dinner?
I agree
donegal419
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
Also decide what you consider OOT of town. All my guests from ireland are coming to the rehearsal dinner. t he ones driving in from New Jersey and Pennsylvania are NOT invited to the rehearsal dinner.
Chrissywish
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
Posted by TreAnt425
Posted by Chrissywish
Posted by TreAnt425
I voted for only Bridal Party because that is what we are doing. It can get too crazy otherwise - Sorry Chrissy
Tre....It's all good....We were arguing about it and he said let's see what LIWeddings said. I want a compromise and I'm not going to go crazy. We just wanted to see what some of the opinions out there were!!!
And I promise...I am not trying to exclude all of his family andonly include mine. I'm just trying to figure out that happy medium.
You guys have to figure out what is going to work best you and your guests. We aren't having a lot of OOT guests so we decided to keep it to the bridal party only.
It does make me laugh because we don't have to figure this out anytime soon, it's just one of those topics that we disagree completely on The joys of learning to compromise I guess!!!!
Chrissywish
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
Jennie0898
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Re: Come Vote for FH....he's putting this out to all of my LIWedding girls!!!!
We only invited those who were involved in the ceremony...
Parents (mom's lit unity candle) BP Siblings (but only the two that did readings and were in the BP) And 'dates' which were those who were either spouses or long-term BF/GF.
