So FMIL is clearly not happy about the wedding and I understand because she is a single mother and FH is the last one to leave the house but she is getting absolutely ridiculous. This is the crap Ive had to deal with so far:
-If her name is not in the invite wording, shes not coming.
-Shes insisting on waiting for the last minute to buy her dress cuz she wants so lose wait....with the diet and exercise shes not doing.
-May not want to do mother/son dance because apparently shes never danced in her life
-We cant give out just personalized kisses and favor tins with mint as a favor. Its not right and we have to give out something else (that to me will just be thrown away or thrown in a drawer never to be seen again)
-And the new one........FH and I are doing things all WRONG. We didnt ask her for a list of her friends that she would like to invite and why arent we inviting FH's family from NJ (that he hasnt seen or heard from in 10 yrs!!!)
Nevermind the fact that we have 3 of her friends already on there that we KNOW, we're not inviting friends of hers that we dont know. She wants to add people but hasnt given us a dime towards this wedding. She told FH of her friend whos daughter got married and asked her who she wanted to invite. GOOOOOOD for her!
My parents are paying for our photog and have helped make payments to RH and even with that have told me its my wedding, I invite who I want and do whatever I want.
My budget is getting tighter by the second so what makes FMIL think shes going to sway my decisions by talking crap? I know shes gossiping with her friends about this and it annoys the hell out of me.
040508Bride
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
hmmmmmm shouldn't her name be on the invites?? ( blah blah hubby....son of ms.meaniefmil......and (mr.blahblahdad)
all the other stuff is up to you...its YOUR day!
MrsK2008
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
I have one of those evil FMIL.............but not quite as evil as all of that.
You are footing the bill, you do what you want. Tell her she can invite her friends if she wants to cover the cost of their meal...HA
love2plan1
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
Oh gosh that is soo annoying, sorry you have to deal with that. I would make the concession about putting her name though, even if she is not 'hosting it' but the rest of the crap she needs to get with the program. It's your wedding not hers. FH or you should not have to spend your wedding day meeting new people or talking to ppl you haven't spoken to in ten years and prob wont for another ten
futuremrsfab
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
Posted by MrsK2008
I have one of those evil FMIL.............but not quite as evil as all of that.
You are footing the bill, you do what you want. Tell her she can invite her friends if she wants to cover the cost of their meal...HA
yea i have to agree- I would tell her that she is welcome to invite whomever she chooses but it will be $x for each of them. Sorry that you are dealing with this
OLA
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
dont let her get to u. in the end u guys are paying for ur wedding so what she says doesnt mean too much. They can be so annoying my FMIL is FARRR away so i cant complain I would actually like her to be here. just try to stay calm and relax i know its hard but all the frustration will be worth it in the end
mariaobride
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
Aww sorry she is offically the most complicated FMIL I have heard about- you seem to be patient about it. I feel terrible that you have that added stress for no reason . I hope everything works out for you.
jennandrolo
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
i did give in and put her name on the invite cuz really its not worth the fight.
heathermatt
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
name i think need to be on the invite...but I would def ask her to help pay for the meals of the people she wants to invite....
jessnstu08
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
welcome to my world ! I can totally relate my FMIL has said she is not comming to the wedding because it isn't going to be kosher ( I am jewish but not religious , and 95% of my guests aren't , and those who are will have meals brought in to accomodate ) and complains about this and that, yet has contributed nothing financially OR emotionally. every time the wedding comes up she changes the subject . She is annoyed that i stole her baby ( who is 37 , only child and lived at home and supported her until we moved in together )
My advise to you it to have your FH deal with her and let her know that her behavior is unacceptable. if she doesn't want to do the mother/son dance, ect, it will be a reflection of HER not you. DO NOT let her sabotage your day .
jennandrolo
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
Posted by heathermatt
name i think need to be on the invite...but I would def ask her to help pay for the meals of the people she wants to invite....
yea it was originally gonna say 'together with their parents...' but i changed it.
DeeluvsVinny
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
Aww that *****!! Meanie FMILs are the worst!
Just remember, it's about you & your FH, not her. Ignore her as best you can.
How does FH feel about her issues?
gabbie83
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
my fmil is far away as well - she just left 3 weeks ago and shes counting the days taht shes coming back (which you can imagine im not toooo excited about) but anyway - its your wedding - you do what you want - we put both of our parents names on the invite - as far as inviting her friends - talk to your FH and see if he can talk to her. Hope everything works out
AMGBride2008
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
As far as the favors go, let her know that what you have chosen is all you can afford... if she wants to give you money for a (in her mind) better favor than so be it.
Tell her you would like to take her dress shopping and to not worry about weight she wants to loose... the dress WILL be altered WHEN she looses weight (don't 'if' her in this situtation... make her believe that she will loose the weight... anything to get her to start looking for a dress!!).
As for the friends... again, let her know that you can't afford to just add people here and there... if she wants her friends to come it would be helpful if she put some $$ up.
Look to your FH's brothers and sisters to divert her attention or make her see that her demands are ridiculous.
jennandrolo
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
Posted by DeeluvsVinny
Aww that *****!! Meanie FMILs are the worst!
Just remember, it's about you & your FH, not her. Ignore her as best you can.
How does FH feel about her issues?
i think hes kinda upset about it. then atop of that she forgot about cooking his birthday dinner last week after she invited us so hes feeling pretty unloved right now.
msflesch
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
so annoying! sorry you are going through this. I would put her on the invite but everything else, you have to hold your ground or she will be doing this stuff forever
madseason
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
you need a hug
I understand and sympathize with you. My FMIL bought a dress...all i know is its pewter. (sp?) Its HIDDEN in her moms house so no one can see it before the wedding??!!!!!!!!!!!!! HER dress...FMIL.....ummm.......
she has said she doesnt want to see my dress.
go figure...just remind yourself its your wedding...although ive been scared shes going to do the jane fonda thing in monster in law and the dress is really white!
zoe282
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
I agree with everyone else...personally I think there is no problem with putting together with their families on teh invites, but since she's throwing a fit then it's not a huge deal. BUT with the other stuff such as favors and guests I would put my foot down! You are paying and it's your wedding! My parents are paying for most of the wedding and said it's your wedding we are giving u x amount do with it as you want....the other side likes to put in more input! I just don't get it!
jennandrolo
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
Posted by madseason
you need a hug
I understand and sympathize with you. My FMIL bought a dress...all i know is its pewter. (sp?) Its HIDDEN in her moms house so no one can see it before the wedding??!!!!!!!!!!!!! HER dress...FMIL.....ummm.......
she has said she doesnt want to see my dress.
go figure...just remind yourself its your wedding...although ive been scared shes going to do the jane fonda thing in monster in law and the dress is really white!
mRm2008
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Re: Common FMIL Vent...but Im ANNOYED
Posted by jennandrolo
i did give in and put her name on the invite cuz really its not worth the fight.
Yep my FMIL is very much the same as you describe yours. FH is sick of her SH!T as well,and has told her numerous times about it. She is still blowed out over the whole Christmas 'incident' and brought that up to him Monday when he dropped by to see them
AND speaking of invitation wording and not being worth the fight.....FH's older brother and SIL did NOT use his parents names on their invite. They were not supportive of their wedding (emotionally or monetarily)) because OH YES...they 'HAD' to get married (as termed by his parents - you know where I am going). 16 years later that invite hangs in their kitchen because they won't let that son live it down.
