Let me ask you, who lives with their FH right now?
Before we got engaged, we were on a house/condo/apartment hunt, which died down as I awaited getting full time at my job. When we got engaged, obviously moving in was inevitable, but doesn't seem to make sense just yet because this is the time you start getting things for the home so why buy some hold me over stuff if you're just gonna get the stuff you really want soon enough? And of course we figured we'd save some money since we're paying half of the wedding.
My problem? I'm getting completely frustrated not living with him. We're moving forward because we got engaged, but it doesn't feel like we're moving forward because we're still living apart.
Is anyone else experiencing or have experienced the same thing? Any good advice?
thanks ladies
linda_art
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Re: completely frustrated
We moved in together to our apt last April. (I lived at his place 5 mths before we found this place) We had to buy furniture regardless and at the time had the money to do so. I couldn't be happier and can't imagine it otherwise. But there are a lot of brides on here that don't yet live with their FH. Are you just not moving in bc youre paying for half the wedding and need to save the money? We are paying for our whole wedding ourselves and found a way to make it work. We arent having a large crazy wedding though...
SeptemberBride2012
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Re: completely frustrated
TOTALLY going through the exact same thing.
We have been together now for 4.5 years - and will be almost 6 by the time we get married in Sept - (we met Dec 2006).
I was in my last semester of undergrad and he was working (hes a year older) and we both were living at home. We both knew pretty early on that we were going to be together forever but with working full time for both of us and then we both went back to school (I am still there getting my MBA) that it really didnt make financial sense to go and move out because at that point we really wouldn't have qualified to get the type of house we want with the financial terms and conditions we want to meet (20% down, no closing cost assistance, at least 3BR 1.5 Bath, at least 10-15K for furniture and kitchen appliances) etc... its like all these things add up and cost money and for us it just was worth it to both stay living at home because fortunately for us our parents let us live rent free. If we did not have this there is no way we would be in the position that we are in today, its been a long and sometimes VERY annoying 4.5 years not being able to live with one another when you see all your friends living with their significant others but I know that in a year we will be able to buy a home and not rent in someones basement which is what our only option would have been 4 years ago. It definitely does get worse in the winter because of the snow and I never will drive and its tax season so we don't really see each other but during the summer its not too bad and I CONSTANTLY remind myself that in about a year (hopefully!!!) we will be moved out and finally living together!!!
If you ever need to vent, FM me!
foodgirl785
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Re: completely frustrated
Posted by linda_art
We moved in together to our apt last April. (I lived at his place 5 mths before we found this place) We had to buy furniture regardless and at the time had the money to do so. I couldn't be happier and can't imagine it otherwise. But there are a lot of brides on here that don't yet live with their FH. Are you just not moving in bc youre paying for half the wedding and need to save the money? We are paying for our whole wedding ourselves and found a way to make it work. We arent having a large crazy wedding though...
It's not the only reason, but FH doesn't want to rent (and I agree). He had a hard time as a kid due to moving several different times so we want to save up for a place that not only we can purchase, but that we can settle in for a long period of time.
linda_art
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Re: completely frustrated
Yeah, I hear you. I bounced around from place to place my whole life- he hasn't, luckily the timing for us really worked. I hate renting, but we didn't have a choice. And, thank goodness it did turn out so well. NY is so expensive. Everything we bought for this place will be brought to our next home. I guess for us if it was really like we can save and then get married and settle into the house we will stay in forever (and we both had other places to live) then I'd agree it'd be better to try and wait it out. Hang in there, it's gonna fly by!
1112bride
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Re: completely frustrated
I don't live with FH yet either. It's hard at times, but sometimes I enjoy sleeping in my own bed and waking up whenever I feel like it. We won't be moving in together until we are married because we just can't afford it.
roblisa09
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Re: completely frustrated
I completey understand how you're feeling. FH and I don't live together and we're are 18 miles apart. It really does get hard for us especially with the going back and forth. But I just try and deal with it cause it's only a matter of time til we live together. Cheer Up! Everyday is just one day closer!!!!!!
ndeokinanan
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Re: completely frustrated
I do not live with FH either and it can be frustrating at times...but you know what makes me feel better?? Knowing that we are doing things the old fashioned way (weird, I know)
AlexandMike2012
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Re: completely frustrated
TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!! We lived together for 2 years in Boston...moved back to LI 2 years ago because we pissed all our money away...now we' saving and going to move in together prob a year or a little less than a year from now....I miss living with him so much...it's so frustrating and I get really upset about it sometimes...but the way I think about it is this is my last time (for real) that I'll ever live with my parents and I love spending time with them...the time is flying by and it will all work out but YES it's so frustrating.
foodgirl785
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Re: completely frustrated
I'm so glad that you all understand!! Thanks for all the great feedback. I will definitely try to look at things more positively until we can finally be together fully
Supermans
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Re: completely frustrated
FH and I have lived together for about 3 years. Part of that time was only on one salary.
It can definatly be done, you just have to make so scarafices. (We slept on a mattress on the floor until we could afford a nice bed) For us it was worth it to be together.
You should just think about, in 50 years from now looking back will you wish you had a nicer wedding/more money, or the extra time living together??
I don't think one answer is more right than the other, it just depends on the couple.
soon2bmrsammo
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Re: completely frustrated
My FH and I don't live with each other either, and at times it is so difficult. We are really anxious to just move in and start our lives together already. But it's a lot easier to save money living home right now. I figured If we waited this long, then we can wait another year. It will all be worth it in the end
SEB102707
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Re: completely frustrated
I live with FH.
We moved in together last April. He is in the military and the first 2 1/2 years of our relationship we spent apart with a week here and a weekend there. We both agreed that moving in and spending more then the occasional week together was needed in order for our relationship to grow.
I think it comes down to what you want more. If you want to save money to buy a place of your own.. then maybe the best option is to wait until after the wedding.
I hope it all works out for you!!
Pinkchick913
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Re: completely frustrated
Fh and I did live together for 2 yrs but when we got engaged we actually both moved back home. We plan on getting another place by next year but it is definitely hard.
CaughtMyFish
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Re: completely frustrated
Yes, it's frustrating! FH lives in Queens and I live in Suffolk. We both own our co-op's and can't live together until his sells. I CANNOT wait for his apt to sell so that we can split my bills and save some money.
JRT5412
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Re: completely frustrated
FH and I live together! Officially we started living together in February. But b/f then he had his own place and I had mine. But he was always at my house. I felt like he was paying rent in his other place just for storage b/c he was never there!!! He couldn't be apart from me at night hahaha. But i love living with him. Now we only have to split one rent instead of paying 2 different rents so we are saving more $$$.. The good thing is that our rent is not high at all compared to other apts in our area. The landlord is a family friend and our utilities are included in the rent too. Your wedding will be here b/f you know it and you and FH will be living together forever!!
courtneydemarco12
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Re: completely frustrated
FH and I lived home for most of our relationship it was not until August 21010 that we moved in together. For all of that time I hated being apart from him because i hated living with my parents and wanted to be on my own. I like living with him for the most part...LOL We were only living together for a few months when we got engaged. We had gotten a lot of stuff really cheap when we were moving in together because i knew once w had gotten engaged I knew i would be registering and I am glad we got the stuff really cheap because I don't feel bad about relplacing it with stuff that I really want.
StephanieJoy
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Re: completely frustrated
we both still live at home. it saves money after we get married we will be moving into my parents house. we are making an appertment there, we will be paying for it but its ours it will be done in the fall but he still wont move in till we are married
kdm822
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Re: completely frustrated
We've been together 7 years. We do not live together, we actually live around the corner from eachother. Yeah were both fustrated him more then me but i dont see the point in going out and gettign an apt when we both dont have to pay rent to live at home. And we want a house. Id rather save for the house then having to save for a house AND pay for rent. Yeah its sucks not living together but we have a year to go.
FutureWifey
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Re: completely frustrated
It is completely frustrating! My FH and I have been dating for 9 years and we have never lived together. We've had sleepovers, but it's really difficult to have a wonderful weekend with him and then to watch him leave on a Sunday night when all I want to do is just cook him a nice dinner and sit on the couch.. watch some tv... and go to bed next to him.
It feels like there's just this little whole in my heart everytime his car goes down the block because I know it'll be another 5 days (at least) until I see him. At least we're getting married next year and I guess it will just help us appreciate our time together after all these years apart..
