Completely Numb

Ok...so I have been on cloud nine for the past few days in which NOTHING was getting me down. I was bouncing off the walls and everything seemed to be falling into place.

.....


Until last night...

I lost my brother ... not in a literal sense, but just that I want nothing to do with him ever again in my life...

Ok, so I will try to sum it all up in as little as possible...
He moved to North Carolina on Christmas Eve to live with his girlfriend...all fine on my end...just as long as he was happy. Sure enough he was the one that was going to walk me down the aisle - in which he was soo excited about. Now, we were always super close...were always able to talk about anything and everything...but once he moved he stopped sharing so much information with me...the emails got shorter and he wasn't calling me back whenever I called him.

He was supposed to come this past Sunday to spend the week with me so I can finally meet his new love of his life....

He called and asked to come Tuesday or Wednesday...I sid that was fine and all that....

He comes here last night... his 'girlfriend' doesnt like my apartment and couldn't stand it...didn't like the way my air freshener smelt or something. And, my brother said that his old room wasn't cleaned out enogh. Meanwhile - I alredy told him his old room was packed out b/c we were moving out right after the wedding...he said it was no big deal.

We had to meet with the Pastor last night...and when we were done...I had a million calls and texts from my Mom freaking out that he left. When I called ihm to find out what was going on, he said he didn't feel 'welcomed' and all that and he was going home...and that was it.
He said that my Mom should walk me down the aisle b/c he needed time to think of wanting to do it or not.
I told him that if he needed to 'think' about it after being soo happy about it in the past, when I have done NOTHING wrong...

So more or less the past day and a half has been a total nightmare...
Noe one single phone call or anyting from him since last night....

So I took his name off the tux rental place...my brother in law will be walking me down the aisle now.

I'm 150% crushed and just trying to get by...with only TWO DAYS beforfe my wedding...I need some hugs to help cheer myself up. I have been doing pretty well...but I just needed to get this out. FH doesn't even want hiim to show up...and if he does then he'll have him escorted out. I just can't get over that I have lost my brother b/c of his girlfriend for NO reason what-so-ever...



I just don't get what happened....