confront her or not......

E-n-K Posted: Sep 10, 2005 12:49 PM

confront her or not......

One of my friends from college who I thought was a definite BM has made me kind of change my mind. Since FH and I got engaged she has not called me once to see how things are going and she hasn't even seen my ring or me yet! She is /was one of my closest friends, but she's really not acting like it. The only time she called me was to check up on her boyfriend. Friends I have known half the time I've known her are more involved than she is. Should I confront her or let it go???

pinkstar025 Posted: Sep 10, 2005 12:52 PM

Re: confront her or not......

me BF..for well, EVER..who introduced FH and I.....was a BM....i saw her ONCE since we got engaged adna year later saw her to order her dress...and havent seen her and she hasnt returned a call since...that was JUNE 2004!!!!
so i ahve an extra dress I HAD TO PAY FOR....and she totally ditched me....missed my shower.....my birthday (after a month earlier i mailed her a card and gift for hers)...missed everything....

YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HER!

i use to cry and get so upset...but i could care less now....took some time...but you learn who your true friends are!

pinkstar025 Posted: Sep 10, 2005 12:54 PM

Re: confront her or not......

and to answer your question...i TRIED to confront her, phone, email, you name it....she would not respond ...well once she did a year and a half ago and cried to me...and then went back to her normal ways.......

i would TRY to let her knwo how you feel..if it doesnt help..then DONT WASTE YOUR TIME!

babybug631 Posted: Sep 10, 2005 12:55 PM

Re: confront her or not......

When I first got engaged I felt like my wedding was the center of the universe, until I realized it wasn't. Don't get offended, she probably has a lot going on. The one thing I've learned is that some people, like my sister, are so involved it's scary. While others are interested, but not so involved. I wouldn't cut her loose, because then you will truly ruin your friendship.

LIBrideinBWI Posted: Sep 10, 2005 12:56 PM

Re: confront her or not......

Considering you've only been engaged a month and your wedding is alomost 2 years away, I think you need to cut her some slack.

As brides, the sad truth is NO ONE cares about your wedding as much as you (and maybe your mother) do.

Amy

E-n-K Posted: Sep 10, 2005 12:57 PM

Re: confront her or not......

Thanks for the advice, and we share almost the same situation, its so hard but true that I really am finding out who my true friends are.

E-n-K Posted: Sep 10, 2005 01:01 PM

Re: confront her or not......

I know its only been a month, but me, Fh, her and her boyfriend used to hang out every weekend and now she fell of the face of the earth. Maybe I'll give her some time, I am in 'its all about me and my wedding' mode right now so maybe I'm being kind of harsh.

SummerBride06 Posted: Sep 10, 2005 01:27 PM

Re: confront her or not......

since your wedding is 2 years away i think you should wait several months to ask people. that will give you plenty of time to decide what you really want.

i waited about 4 months--and asked the ladies just about exactly a year before the wedding. thank god i did because i only asked half of my original list. i'm so glad i thought it through.

JimmysBride Posted: Sep 10, 2005 01:48 PM

Re: confront her or not......

I also recommend waiting a while before asking your BP. Alot of brides on here (including me) later found out that who we thought were our closest friends really weren't when push came to shove.

And I agree with the others in that you JUST got engaged. She may be having trouble with it - or NOT AT ALL, just busy with her own things. I know as a bride it's hard when no one seems to care about your wedding...but it's truth, no one cares nearly as much as YOU do. So give her a break for now and when you approach her don't act like she owes you something or did something wrong. Give her a chance to congratulate you (even if it's a little late), accept it graciously and move on.

070306 Posted: Sep 10, 2005 02:06 PM

Re: confront her or not......

It is so sad that at the happiest times o fyour life you always have to deal with BS.

Sorry.

I would call her and ask what is going on.

BRIDEMICHELE Posted: Sep 10, 2005 03:00 PM

Re: confront her or not......

At least give her a chance and call her so she can explain herself. Maybe something is going on in her life and she needs you. If you call her and she's still a brat then forget her and move on. You have othe rfirends and family that love you, you don't need to waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't care about you. Good Luck.

salsbride06 Posted: Sep 10, 2005 04:32 PM

Re: confront her or not......

i would confront her and see whats going on. its not fair to plan a wedding and you dont know if this person is in or out of the bridal party. you have enogh stress. whats the worst that can happen she tells you that she changed her mind ir she still in it??? just my opinion. hope things work out for you.

july06bride Posted: Sep 10, 2005 04:35 PM

Re: confront her or not......

i wouldnt ask her yet if you havent already... you have time to ask and see how things go with her, confront her though, if she is a good friend and she is acting differently maybe there is something wrong, but like others said, as brides we feel like our wedding is the most important thing in the world,but it isnt for everyone else, good luck