Control freak?

Jennie737 Posted: Mar 24, 2010 09:58 AM

Control freak?

So FH keeps telling me he wants to be more involved... so I gave him the job of getting quotes from limo companies. He's been putting it off for weeks But today's his first day off in a while so he promised me he'd do it today... plus he's not a great negotiator and isn't always as budget conscious as me...

Really trying to have faith!! Do you ladies have trouble giving up control when it comes to your wedding planning... or am I just a control freak? (which I normally am lol)

jwleewedding Posted: Mar 24, 2010 10:02 AM

Re: Control freak?

i've done most of the wedding planning so far and i put the FH in charge of the photobooths... he's not the greatest at negotiating either,so he just runs everything by me.

it's the best of both worlds.. i still have a say.. yet he feels like he owns this project.

WeezyGirl2354 Posted: Mar 24, 2010 10:04 AM

Re: Control freak?

He does take control but i need to keep reminding him - especially when it comes to items his family is responsible for paying for like limos.

Me - 'you are going to call to make an appointment right?'
Him - 'yea just gotta see when my parents can go?'
Me - 'ok - so ask them and make the appointment - it's 10 min from your house so it shouldnt be that hard to coordinate'
Him - 'okay'
Me - 'okay, what? when you gonna do it?'

Thats how that normally goes LOL

dCa51899 Posted: Mar 24, 2010 10:05 AM

Re: Control freak?

i haven't even tried giving up any control yet lol but I'm sure I'd feel the same since I'm a perfectionist and like to do everything myself. Just try to think to yourself that if you don't give up any control, you'll have to do EVERYTHING yourself and that will get stressful, so as hard as it is, try to let him do this on his own. Maybe he doesn't feel the rush since we have some time til our year. Don't worry, everything will get done!

Jennie737 Posted: Mar 24, 2010 10:05 AM

Re: Control freak?

haha sounds like a lot of my conversations with FH... glad to hear i'm not the only one... sometimes I feel like such a nag!

FutureJOC Posted: Mar 24, 2010 10:14 AM

Re: Control freak?

For me, it's not about being a control freak - I just know that it won't get done if it was left up to FH. He acts like a 5 year old whenever I tell him we have to go meet with a vendor and I God forbid pull him away from a night of Call of Duty Love him to death, but I would just rather take the reins when it comes to booking the vendors and honestly, FH is happy with that arrangement. It really doesn't bother me at all that I'm the one doing the bulk of the planning and booking because I actually enjoy it. I of course get FH's input on everything and I don't make a final decision with consulting him first and there are random times when FH will speak up and say 'this what I think we should do' or 'I think we should get that' (like the uplighting for instance - that was allll FH... I didn't even factor that into the budget, but he liked, so we got it - hell, I'm not complaining ).

The only thing that I am completely leaving up to FH is what him and the guys are wearing and what gifts he wants to get the guys. Of course I'm going to give my input on color choices and whatnot but as far as styles and if he wants to wear a vest or not and what kind of tie, that's totally up to him.

evita2781 Posted: Mar 24, 2010 10:19 AM

Re: Control freak?

i have no control to give up - FH isn't really involved which doesn't bother me at all!

anszusterman Posted: Mar 24, 2010 10:39 AM

Re: Control freak?

The first time we started trying to plan for our wedding, I was doing everything and becoming resentful- so I called off the wedding. Now that things are back on track, FH is being VERY helpful. He is the one setting up appointments and calling vendors. He is a much better negotiator that me (he refers to me as a 'salesman's dream'). The things he is technically in charge of is the band and his GM- everything else he is just helping me. I consider myself a control freak too, but there was just too much for me to handle- and I now realize that!

Moonmist09 Posted: Mar 24, 2010 10:51 AM

Re: Control freak?

i m am basically planning this whole wedding...

all the major things, like vendors we picked together...

everything else, he cares about, but i usually tell him what i am doing to get his opinions and he feels included and then he thinks he helped make the decision.

Jennie737 Posted: Mar 24, 2010 11:30 AM

Re: Control freak?

AHH!! He's torturing me... after every phone call, with every little question... sigh Wedding Planning & Negotiating 101!! Would have been easier if I had done it myself...

At least finally he's fully realizing how crazy and stressful it all is... and that I'm not just being anal and meticulous because I work as an event planner!!

rendel Posted: Mar 24, 2010 12:56 PM

Re: Control freak?

Lol yeah, if I left it up to him the guest would prob be eating hot wings and we would ride in on tricycle. No, he has actually helped alot, he even picked the RH and DJ and I never hear the end of it.

futurestevens Posted: Mar 24, 2010 01:08 PM

Re: Control freak?

Posted by FutureJOC

For me, it's not about being a control freak - I just know that it won't get done if it was left up to FH. He acts like a 5 year old whenever I tell him we have to go meet with a vendor and I God forbid pull him away from a night of Call of Duty .

HAHAHAHA omg, this is the Kerri & Dru show to a T!

actually, we had an argument the other night about the fact that he doesn't want to help, and he actually wound up saying 'yeah, my dad said i should be more involved in the planning'

i'm like thank you FFIL! haha

monkeemunk Posted: Mar 24, 2010 01:15 PM

Re: Control freak?

yes, I have a lot of trouble. i gave fh a few tasks and so far so good. so have faith!

monkeemunk Posted: Mar 24, 2010 01:16 PM

Re: Control freak?

i only had one that wouldnt give me a price. we had luck at most thouhg. good luck!

madamsireeda213 Posted: Mar 24, 2010 06:53 PM

Re: Control freak?

YES!! I gave my FH like 2 jobs. To pick the photographer (since he's a freelance photographer) and he can pick the intro songs for us and the BP....

I've already taken away his second role (he wanted to pick a sng i didnt like haha) and I'm sending him all these sites for photographers but he hasnt been paying attention so I might take that away from him as well....

I always told him that he could design our monogram but I didnt like his design...

I think its not you are a control freak..you just know what you want and you want it to get done at a certain time and manner and your FH (and mine, and many others) just dont see wedding planning as urgent as we do. They think we can wait till the last minute to do everything..

So no ur not a control freak you are just very organized! ha

angelabarra12 Posted: Mar 24, 2010 09:08 PM

Re: Control freak?

i deff understand!! lol i find that the FH will ask to help and its verry hard for me to give up control because i know what i want and how to do it kinda thing!! i love that he wants to help but sometimes its like ahh!! lol they only mean well thats y we love them!