(I am not sure if I am editing this right) * I asked the deacon why they still needed the release form when they already had a letter from the doctor. He said that the Diocese needs permission to open the letter. Because if they do open it we can say I never released the iformatiuon and I could sue them. I kinda understand that but if you sign the release can't they still call the doctor then and get the details of sessions. (P.S. Therapist said he will NOT release any details either way.He thinks this is ridiculous)
If the church asked you to sign a medical release form so they can talk to your doctor(therapist), would you sign it? Keep in mind that if you did not sign it they cannot move further in your prepartations, I guess meaning they won't marry you in the church. Do you think the Catholic church has the right to ask this of people? I am curious to see people's opinions on this subject. Thanks!
kristin597
Posted:
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Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
Posted by jbean36251
Just wanted to Thank everyone for thier input. It seems that the letter is sufficient but they can't read unless you give permission. I am meeting with the Deacon tonight to clear some of this up.
What if you just give them oral consent to open the letter? Or even write down 'I, _________, give my permission for Deacon/Priest Busybody to read the letter from Dr. ________.' And then sign that letter. That way you are ONLY giving them a release towards to the letter which doesn't hold any personal info.
jbean36251
Posted:
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Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
That is a good idea. i will ask the Deacon tonight about that.
SFAR89
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Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
Posted by siffleuse319
Is a person diagnosed with a mental illness not entitled to get married in the catholic church? Wouldn't that be considered discrimination of some sort? I know that the church isn't bound to follow the laws of the American's with Disabilities Act, because somehow the Catholics seem to think they can pick and choose their laws by convenience. But....honestly, if someone has panic disorder or even bipolar, are they not worthy enough of the catholic church's acceptance? Come 'on....that's just malarky as far as I'm concerned. Who are they to be so exclusive and judgmental? Faith and religion are also about forgiveness and absolution.....something that the catholics, that I have encountered, have not demonstrated either in daily life or in their religious capacity. Sorry you were discriminated against for having sought counseling. I always knew that the Catholic religion forces people to lie or to be ashamed....and this just reinforces my belief. You should have lied on your application. Then you'd be worthy......lolol
I agree 100%
GT143EA
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
I have never heard of this...but now I'm glad I'm not getting married in the church! This is absurd and there is no reason for you to have to share any of this information with them!!
GiantsBride
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Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
Posted by JT11596
Glad to see this thread I've been wondering if anyone had thoughts on this... We were asked this question by the Deacon marrying us; I was so offended I was speechless for a few seconds; I am a professional counselor and as part of my master's degree we were required to see a counselor ourselves; I explained this to the Deacon only after he made a big deal that he was going to have to check w/the priest about whether I had to disclose the name of my therapist; he excepted my 'explanation' but what outraged me the most was that on the form there was a section for 'explanation,' as in, they actually were recording in our file the reason I was in therapy. That question led to FH's and my first fight (he is Catholic, I am not, so you can all imagine how that conversation went). It is still a very sore subject and when we went to Pre-Cana I had to hold my tongue and not vent about it all over again...glad I am not the only one w/this reacton (sorry this was so long!)
I agree... I was raised Catholic, but no longer practice and my FILs want us to get married in a church - I don't know if I am going to be able to get through the FOCUS and pre cana
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
Posted by Soon-to-be-Moore
Posted by JT11596
Glad to see this thread I've been wondering if anyone had thoughts on this... We were asked this question by the Deacon marrying us; I was so offended I was speechless for a few seconds; I am a professional counselor and as part of my master's degree we were required to see a counselor ourselves; I explained this to the Deacon only after he made a big deal that he was going to have to check w/the priest about whether I had to disclose the name of my therapist; he excepted my 'explanation' but what outraged me the most was that on the form there was a section for 'explanation,' as in, they actually were recording in our file the reason I was in therapy. That question led to FH's and my first fight (he is Catholic, I am not, so you can all imagine how that conversation went). It is still a very sore subject and when we went to Pre-Cana I had to hold my tongue and not vent about it all over again...glad I am not the only one w/this reacton (sorry this was so long!)
I agree... I was raised Catholic, but no longer practice and my FILs want us to get married in a church - I don't know if I am going to be able to get through the FOCUS and pre cana
I am NOT catholic but i am getting married in a catholic church. I was a bit afraid with pre-cana and what they would say, also had heard that i would have to sign papers that say i agree to raise my kids catholic. Well i didnt have any papers to sign and also pre-cana ended up being great and i enjoyed it. They didn't push religion and infact since it was an interfaith pre-cana they talked about how it doesnt matter what religion you are, as long as you respect the other persons view and believe in a greater something and all that. I was pleasantly surprised. During the whole process i was afraid of having problems with the fact that i am not catholic, hearing things i dont want to hear but didnt come across any of that
Hopefully you'll have a good experience with pre-cana too
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
Posted by siffleuse319
Is a person diagnosed with a mental illness not entitled to get married in the catholic church? Wouldn't that be considered discrimination of some sort? I know that the church isn't bound to follow the laws of the American's with Disabilities Act, because somehow the Catholics seem to think they can pick and choose their laws by convenience. But....honestly, if someone has panic disorder or even bipolar, are they not worthy enough of the catholic church's acceptance? Come 'on....that's just malarky as far as I'm concerned. Who are they to be so exclusive and judgmental? Faith and religion are also about forgiveness and absolution.....something that the catholics, that I have encountered, have not demonstrated either in daily life or in their religious capacity. Sorry you were discriminated against for having sought counseling. I always knew that the Catholic religion forces people to lie or to be ashamed....and this just reinforces my belief. You should have lied on your application. Then you'd be worthy......lolol
thats what pissed me off the most about all this. So what if it is a more severe problem, that doesn't mean they can't make decisions on their own. I think my fh might be categorized into that group but he is more than capable of making decisions, just because you suffer from something doesn't mean you cant make decisions. I would've been so insulted and hurt if they would've asked us for this.
sheeshamuff
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
That is the most ridiculous BS I have ever heard! They have no right!
NoraPearl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
This seems so strange to me. I got married in a Catholic church and all they wanted was our Baptism certificates. Medical records are way out of line to be asking for.
MrsInglima
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
I am confused, why do they even need a letter in the first place?
Are they trying to get info to make sure that the marriage will work or that you are fit to be married or something?
I grew up Catholic and think that the Catholic Church is full of archaic rules and prejudices. We converted to Episcopalian after getting engaged because we can't bare to be married in a church by someone who does not agree with key beliefs that we have about today's culture and society.
LeeLee111
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Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
I would find a new church.
FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Soon-to-be-Moore
Posted by JT11596
Glad to see this thread I've been wondering if anyone had thoughts on this... We were asked this question by the Deacon marrying us; I was so offended I was speechless for a few seconds; I am a professional counselor and as part of my master's degree we were required to see a counselor ourselves; I explained this to the Deacon only after he made a big deal that he was going to have to check w/the priest about whether I had to disclose the name of my therapist; he excepted my 'explanation' but what outraged me the most was that on the form there was a section for 'explanation,' as in, they actually were recording in our file the reason I was in therapy. That question led to FH's and my first fight (he is Catholic, I am not, so you can all imagine how that conversation went). It is still a very sore subject and when we went to Pre-Cana I had to hold my tongue and not vent about it all over again...glad I am not the only one w/this reacton (sorry this was so long!)
I agree... I was raised Catholic, but no longer practice and my FILs want us to get married in a church - I don't know if I am going to be able to get through the FOCUS and pre cana
I am NOT catholic but i am getting married in a catholic church. I was a bit afraid with pre-cana and what they would say, also had heard that i would have to sign papers that say i agree to raise my kids catholic. Well i didnt have any papers to sign and also pre-cana ended up being great and i enjoyed it. They didn't push religion and infact since it was an interfaith pre-cana they talked about how it doesnt matter what religion you are, as long as you respect the other persons view and believe in a greater something and all that. I was pleasantly surprised. During the whole process i was afraid of having problems with the fact that i am not catholic, hearing things i dont want to hear but didnt come across any of that
Hopefully you'll have a good experience with pre-cana too
I'm also a non-catholic marrying in a catholic church! I was freaking out about it but so far it's been a piece of cake. We have pre-cana this weekend.
I think the church just wants to make sure that if things don't work out and there hasn't been adultery, you won't have ready excuse to end it. I can just hear some people say, 'But I wasn't of sound mind!'
JT11596
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
Posted by Soon-to-be-Moore
Posted by JT11596
Glad to see this thread I've been wondering if anyone had thoughts on this... We were asked this question by the Deacon marrying us; I was so offended I was speechless for a few seconds; I am a professional counselor and as part of my master's degree we were required to see a counselor ourselves; I explained this to the Deacon only after he made a big deal that he was going to have to check w/the priest about whether I had to disclose the name of my therapist; he excepted my 'explanation' but what outraged me the most was that on the form there was a section for 'explanation,' as in, they actually were recording in our file the reason I was in therapy. That question led to FH's and my first fight (he is Catholic, I am not, so you can all imagine how that conversation went). It is still a very sore subject and when we went to Pre-Cana I had to hold my tongue and not vent about it all over again...glad I am not the only one w/this reacton (sorry this was so long!)
I agree... I was raised Catholic, but no longer practice and my FILs want us to get married in a church - I don't know if I am going to be able to get through the FOCUS and pre cana
I was actually pleasantly surprised when we went to pre-cana and it wasn't about religion; I think I was going into it on the defensive because of the first experience we had when we met w/the Deacon. Pre-cana focused on communication, and the importance of family among other things. The Deacon who led it was very liberal. I was relieved so hopefully you will have a similar experience w/your pre-cana!
LBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
They asked us this as well. They want to make sure you are of right mind to go through the marriage process. I guess if you are emotionally vunerable you may be coerced into marriage.
missK
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
OMG I have to say that RVC is the worst. No offense to them but that is only your private information they dont need to know. Oooh that gets me fired up when they are spending 800K to redo the Church kitchen and dining room of our money donations. Who are they to judge you especially when they have so much in the closet goings on that they covered up for years and years..... ????
Cant you go to another church?? I wasnt asked that question all they wanted to know is if we were happy together and came to them of free will. Ok vent over..
missK
Posted:
Member since
Re: Controversial Church Question(Catholic) *UPDATE*
Posted by Soon-to-be-Moore
Posted by JT11596
Glad to see this thread I've been wondering if anyone had thoughts on this... We were asked this question by the Deacon marrying us; I was so offended I was speechless for a few seconds; I am a professional counselor and as part of my master's degree we were required to see a counselor ourselves; I explained this to the Deacon only after he made a big deal that he was going to have to check w/the priest about whether I had to disclose the name of my therapist; he excepted my 'explanation' but what outraged me the most was that on the form there was a section for 'explanation,' as in, they actually were recording in our file the reason I was in therapy. That question led to FH's and my first fight (he is Catholic, I am not, so you can all imagine how that conversation went). It is still a very sore subject and when we went to Pre-Cana I had to hold my tongue and not vent about it all over again...glad I am not the only one w/this reacton (sorry this was so long!)
I agree... I was raised Catholic, but no longer practice and my FILs want us to get married in a church - I don't know if I am going to be able to get through the FOCUS and pre cana
You dont have to do the FOCUS at all churches and you dont have to do either at the church you are getting married at. My friends are getting married at RVC church and paid over $350 for F+ precana and we paid $60 no tests nothing. We went to a couples house for 6 weeks and that was it. It was better than I thought.
