Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

MissMooz Posted: Jun 18, 2006 07:33 AM

Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

I just got the envelopes back from the calligrapher and am planning to send out the invites tomorrow.

I have not invited any coworkers from the place I've worked for two years. I'm planning to leave this job in August, right before the wedding, altohugh I haven't told anyone this yet.

A coworker told me this morning that she can't wait for my wedding and she's so excited, etc. But she's not invited!

I get along with these people and like them a lot and may return to this workplace in the future, but I don't really have the money to shell out to add 20 more people to the guest list. Plus they're the kind of people used to $50-100K weddings, and mine is much more modest than that.

Should I just suck it up and include them?

Or how do I deal with their disappointment? They're going to figure out pretty soon that they're not invited....

Happybride2005 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 08:21 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

u invite who u want to share your special day with. i invite the people t hat i was close to

BRod-Cheng Posted: Jun 18, 2006 08:30 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

This is such a touchy subject, and people don't help it by making comments where they assume that they are invited.

The same thing happened to me. I explained to everyone that my family is big and FH's family is big, and we just did not have the room.

Maybe you can tell them that if you get a lot of declines, you may be able to invite them later.

I only invited 3 people from work. Those were the 3 people that I hang out with every day.

DanaRenee Posted: Jun 18, 2006 08:49 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

I made sure I let my coworkers know that we are having trouble with the HUGE guest list and hinted that I'm even going to have to cut out some of our own family (thats not true though!)

Maybe you can hint at that, and they will get the idea that you are in a tough situation and hopefully understand when they don't get an invite!

jtgarsik Posted: Jun 18, 2006 08:54 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

i always think of the relationship...after you leave your job in august, are you ever going to talk to these people again? Go by the relationship & put yourself in their shoes.... if one of them were getting married, would you be hurt if u weren't invited??? just think about it & i'm sure you'll make the right decision.

BRod-Cheng Posted: Jun 18, 2006 09:06 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

Posted by jtgarsik

i always think of the relationship...after you leave your job in august, are you ever going to talk to these people again? Go by the relationship & put yourself in their shoes.... if one of them were getting married, would you be hurt if u weren't invited??? just think about it & i'm sure you'll make the right decision.

This is a good point. I have a friend who invited some people to her wedding out of obligation, and now she says she wishes there was a way to cut them out of her video and photos.

nickipa Posted: Jun 18, 2006 09:10 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

you have to do whats right for you--your day, your way!! if you don't want to invite them, don't invite them, but i would try to drop some hints--your guest list is so big with all the family, you are having a more intimate affair with just family. i think its crazy how people just assume they are invited!!

sr081906 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 09:13 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

I know many co-workers who did not invite other co-workers at their weddings. This is a private event and you don't have to invite anyone from work.

I am limited it to 4 close people who I work directly with and know for years.

Some other people asked (to my surprise!) about the ceremony. Since this is a private small wedding, I have made it apparent that it was just that. A small private wedding and that only the people invited to the reception would be going to the ceremony.

I like to separate my professional life from my personal life.

Nothing wrong with not inviting them!

JPC1125 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 10:33 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

ignore the co-workers comments and keep them off the list.....if you dont want them there, they dont need to be there...keep it small and intimate

kittythestray Posted: Jun 18, 2006 10:45 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

lacey&mark Posted: Jun 18, 2006 11:40 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

oh wow thats hard. i would just tell everyone that you are having an 'intimate wedding' and that you and fh decided not to invite people from work. i feel badly that i did not invite my bosses, as they already asked if they are allowed to come to my ceremony bc they want to see me get married (they ask bc we are not getting married in a church, but at the hall). i feel bad, but my last day at my job is 2 weeks after the wedding and i am relocating to NC so i will never see my coworkers again. ~lacey

edsprincess Posted: Jun 18, 2006 11:46 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

I didnt invite any of my coworkers. They all asked how was the planning and how was it but I'm not made out of money to invite the world.

SillyBeans Posted: Jun 18, 2006 11:57 AM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

I'm not inviting any of my coworkers. I think a few are expecting invites, I'm going to have to tell them straight out that I have too large of a guest list. I just feel like weddings are for family/ close friends

RadioLau Posted: Jun 18, 2006 12:17 PM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

Invite only those you intend to continue having a relationship with after you leave your job. JMO HTH

patticakes Posted: Jun 18, 2006 12:18 PM

Re: Coworkers want to come--HELP!!

You can tell them that it is a modest wedding of just close family and friends. I'm in a similar situation and it ***** but this is what has to be done!