CRAZINESS!!!

This might be kinda long but please read...I need some advice or any response.

FH's friend that hes known forever called us today saying he was probably gonna get married before us and is ready to settle down with his girlfriend. Me and FH are like whatever if thats what you feel is right then go ahead. Less than 2 hrs later he calls us that hes engaged....whaaat??? Me and FH were shocked to say the least. We didnt think he was THAT serious. He didnt propose with a ring but their going to get one soon. Now heres the kicker....

-He's 24, shes 19 (or 18, we're not really clear on this)
- They've only been together 2 months.
-She has a kid

I mean we're not really like upset by those facts, we think their great for each other, hes a good father figure for her daughter. Its just all so sudden.

So I was talking to her on aim and their looking at March of 2008.....2 months before my wedding. When he had mentioned having a wedding soon we thought something small that wouldnt interfere with ours. No, her mothers paying for it with a budget of $20,000. Heres where the problems come in.

-He's in our BP
-FH and I cant be afford to be in a BP right now, but I know we're gonna have to be, FH and him have been friends all their lives.
- She wants me to help her plan, which I dont really mind cuz all my stuff is booked and I have nothing else to do except save, but I still dont want it to interfere with my stuff.

Why couldnt they think this through? Its just adding on to my stress that I really dont need. Im excited about an other wedding but why cant they wait?

awww... i dont know what to say.. cause on one hand as a bride i understand how u feel.. but if i wasn't a bride i'd prob think.. 'wow is she serious bout not wanting someone to have a wedding 2 months before hers'

and i'm not hating because again as a bride i totally know how you feel..

but an engagement after 2 months with a kid involved.. that seems to me to be the most troubling.. i dunno u'r friends, so i won't comment on it to much but as a single mom i can't understand why someone would introduce their child to someone after 2 months..i think like u said, they need to think it through a little more..

do as much as u can to help her.. it's prob best that u do.. so u can steer her away from replicating the special things u'r doing for u'r day..

good luck!

well i think that we all want to say that WOW 2 months is fast.. and I do think that is fast, yet we dont all know them.

I dont really see why you are upset and how its really interferring with your wedding? I could understand being upset that a friend might be rushing into something and ruining his life but it seems you are more upset about it interferring with your wedding. I dont think its fair to complain about having to spend the money to be in their BP when he has to spend the money to be in yours (whether saving for a wedding or not)

when it comes to helping her you dont have to share all your vendors with her but you can give her a list of who you have visited that you liked.

dont let all this get to you. you have to remember... your wedding is giong to be beautiful and perfect. you and FH have invested the time intro your relationship and it will last... they may not be able to say the same thing.

---

Posted by iwannabmrsD

awww... i dont know what to say.. cause on one hand as a bride i understand how u feel.. but if i wasn't a bride i'd prob think.. 'wow is she serious bout not wanting someone to have a wedding 2 months before hers'

and i'm not hating because again as a bride i totally know how you feel..

but an engagement after 2 months with a kid involved.. that seems to me to be the most troubling.. i dunno u'r friends, so i won't comment on it to much but as a single mom i can't understand why someone would introduce their child to someone after 2 months..i think like u said, they need to think it through a little more..

do as much as u can to help her.. it's prob best that u do.. so u can steer her away from replicating the special things u'r doing for u'r day..

good luck!

---

yea i totally understand about the kid issue. i was worried about it too but she is young and probably really doesnt know what shes doing. the daughter is already calling him daddy which isnt really right to me but to each his own.

im just like whyyyy 2 months b4 my wedding. they shouldve though about it before adding an extra expense on people.

---

Posted by jgl

well i think that we all want to say that WOW 2 months is fast.. and I do think that is fast, yet we dont all know them.

I dont really see why you are upset and how its really interferring with your wedding? I could understand being upset that a friend might be rushing into something and ruining his life but it seems you are more upset about it interferring with your wedding. I dont think its fair to complain about having to spend the money to be in their BP when he has to spend the money to be in yours (whether saving for a wedding or not)

when it comes to helping her you dont have to share all your vendors with her but you can give her a list of who you have visited that you liked.

dont let all this get to you. you have to remember... your wedding is giong to be beautiful and perfect. you and FH have invested the time intro your relationship and it will last... they may not be able to say the same thing.

---

yes I am upset about it interfering AND about how their rushing it but their going to get married regardless of what we say about them rushing it. not only will their wedding inconvenience me and FH moneywise but we'll have very similar BP so that an extra expense on them. i wish they would have given it more time so that we can all be involved more.

---

Posted by jennandrolo

This might be kinda long but please read...I need some advice or any response.

FH's friend that hes known forever called us today saying he was probably gonna get married before us and is ready to settle down with his girlfriend. Me and FH are like whatever if thats what you feel is right then go ahead. Less than 2 hrs later he calls us that hes engaged....whaaat??? Me and FH were shocked to say the least. We didnt think he was THAT serious. He didnt propose with a ring but their going to get one soon. Now heres the kicker....

-He's 24, shes 19 (or 18, we're not really clear on this)
- They've only been together 2 months.
-She has a kid

I mean we're not really like upset by those facts, we think their great for each other, hes a good father figure for her daughter. Its just all so sudden.

So I was talking to her on aim and their looking at March of 2008.....2 months before my wedding. When he had mentioned having a wedding soon we thought something small that wouldnt interfere with ours. No, her mothers paying for it with a budget of $20,000. Heres where the problems come in.

-He's in our BP
-FH and I cant be afford to be in a BP right now, but I know we're gonna have to be, FH and him have been friends all their lives.
- She wants me to help her plan, which I dont really mind cuz all my stuff is booked and I have nothing else to do except save, but I still dont want it to interfere with my stuff.

Why couldnt they think this through? Its just adding on to my stress that I really dont need. Im excited about an other wedding but why cant they wait?

---

I totally see where you are comming from..FH and i have been engaged since last summer and are not going to be getting married till next fall.....i understand we are having a long engagement....however, his cousin just got engaged and said they will be getting married next summer, in disney........Im extrememly happy for them as they have been dating for many many years, however i feel like 1.) we cant afford to go to florida for a wedding 2 mos before ours, and 2.) i sort of feel like they are stealing our thunder....so i know exactly how you feel....but i guess we have to stop and realize that our day is only most important to us and not everyone else...just know that your day will be special bc it will be your day

---

Posted by Tigerlilie10308

---

Posted by jennandrolo

This might be kinda long but please read...I need some advice or any response.

FH's friend that hes known forever called us today saying he was probably gonna get married before us and is ready to settle down with his girlfriend. Me and FH are like whatever if thats what you feel is right then go ahead. Less than 2 hrs later he calls us that hes engaged....whaaat??? Me and FH were shocked to say the least. We didnt think he was THAT serious. He didnt propose with a ring but their going to get one soon. Now heres the kicker....

-He's 24, shes 19 (or 18, we're not really clear on this)
- They've only been together 2 months.
-She has a kid

I mean we're not really like upset by those facts, we think their great for each other, hes a good father figure for her daughter. Its just all so sudden.

So I was talking to her on aim and their looking at March of 2008.....2 months before my wedding. When he had mentioned having a wedding soon we thought something small that wouldnt interfere with ours. No, her mothers paying for it with a budget of $20,000. Heres where the problems come in.

-He's in our BP
-FH and I cant be afford to be in a BP right now, but I know we're gonna have to be, FH and him have been friends all their lives.
- She wants me to help her plan, which I dont really mind cuz all my stuff is booked and I have nothing else to do except save, but I still dont want it to interfere with my stuff.

Why couldnt they think this through? Its just adding on to my stress that I really dont need. Im excited about an other wedding but why cant they wait?

---

I totally see where you are comming from..FH and i have been engaged since last summer and are not going to be getting married till next fall.....i understand we are having a long engagement....however, his cousin just got engaged and said they will be getting married next summer, in disney........Im extrememly happy for them as they have been dating for many many years, however i feel like 1.) we cant afford to go to florida for a wedding 2 mos before ours, and 2.) i sort of feel like they are stealing our thunder....so i know exactly how you feel....but i guess we have to stop and realize that our day is only most important to us and not everyone else...just know that your day will be special bc it will be your day

---

yea FH and I decided to tell them its not going to be possible for us to be in their BP. we just cant afford right now.

---

Posted by megzzie

Wow two months is definitely fast, especially since she's 18 or 19. But, think of it now as you having a planning partner - you have a fellow bride and you guys can plan and talk about your weddings!

---

thats the only thing im excited about for this whole thing