Yesterday my cousin announced that he and his fiance' booked a date.....10/06/07.....hello, my wedding date is 10/12/07! Now what do I do?? My family is not going to want to come to our wedding less than a week later!
My Grandparents are very upset b/c we picked 10/12 b/c it is their 60th wedding anniversary! We told everyone that our 1st choice was 10/12 & then if our church & hall weren't available 11/23 was our back-up date!
He says its because we haven't officially booked the reception hall yet, although we are going next week. Still I specifically said 10/12!!!!
I was crying hysterical for hours and I don't know what to do! How can I tell him that he has hurt me so badly without causing a family war???
MrsR72806
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Posted by Mikeysgirl
I would change my date and make it before theirs. I'm evil, I know
I would do the same thing!!!!
JennJay
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
If you didn't book your hall or ceremony place yet, then I would say it is wishful thinking for 10/12. I know ... it is extremely rude and inconsiderate of your cousin since you said you would like to book on 10/12, but you didn't. You can always change the date of the DJ, but honestly, what if the hall is already booked for 10/12.
October Bliss
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
I read this post hours and hours ago, and have given it a lot of thought.
If I were you, I would leave my date EXACTLY as is. I would send out Save the Date's the day after I book the hall. Then, I would mail out invites 12 weeks in advance, to make sure they get out before the obnoxious cousin's invites, AND I would make sure my invites in some way shape or form stated that it was grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary. IMO, if someone had to make a choice based on financial reasons between the two - the added incentive of the 60th anniversary celebration would get them to yours instead of the cousin's wedding.
Mandyin2007
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
I am very sorry. I would talk to your cousin and tell him how you feel. I would put everything out on the table.
I hope everything works out.
Mooshyboo
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
OMG I am sorry to hear you are going through this ~ I would keep my date...I think your cousin is going to look like a Big jerk for doing this to you ~ that was not very nice...Your family & friends will be there...(I am sure for both) this is in 2007 they have time for planning! Good Luck!
HearzBellz
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Posted by Mikeysgirl
I would change my date and make it before theirs. I'm evil, I know
I would do the same. I know it sounds childish but you pushing your back may not make it easier for people to come, especially that it is near a holiday.
Sorry you have to even deal with this
DandS
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Posted by Smiles111
definitely tell him how upset he's made you. At least make him face up to what he's done in terms of hurting you, even if he doesn't change his date.
I totally agree! I am so sorry that they did this to you!!!
FH's cousin did the same thing to us. We booked our wedding date and then 7 months later his cousin and fiance booked their wedding for the week after us. I was upset to say the least, but I then realized that it may work out good for our OOT guests (they will only have to travel once). I was also very upset that we would be on our HM and miss their wedding, but that wasn't our decision as they knew we would be one our HM then. To be honest with you, I know it is upsetting at first, but it will be ok! I would keep the date since that date meant a lot to you and your grandparents. I'm sorry again. FM me if you want to talk
Tobewed07
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Thanks again, you've all been such great listeners and have given some great suggestions....I just need to get up the nerve to ask him why he did this.....
It's not going to be easy.....I'm a softie and hate causing any kind og conflict, but we are not just planning B-Day parties here, these are weddings are very expensive to change around...
Thanks again!!
Chrissywish
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
I agree....you need to talk to him, especially since he is like a brother to you. I can't imagine if one of my brothers were to pick a date so close to mine.
We actually have a thing going in my family. My cousin Josh got engaged picked a date started planning blah blah blah...then my cousin AJ picked the day after b/c he wanted to get married on the grandfathers birthday he is named after. I completely understood the choice of his day, but being that he was second to pick I felt it was wrong, especially since one wedding was in nebraska and the other in kansas. Long story short, we went to josh's wedding (we are closer to that part of the family) and AJ had just his immediate family members at his, none of the aunts and uncles from his fathers side. I am not saying that this will happen to you, however, don't be stuck on things. Think about your options and weigh them all out. Maybe talk to a family member you trust and ask them their opinion on if it is all too much.
I am actually in a way sort of going through something similiar. My cousin and I are both getting engaged. I am waiting for the boyfriend to ask (he wants it to be a surprise) and he is waiting to propose to his girlfriend. When my autn came in march she was asking if it happened yet, am i getting engaged soon, have i even thought about dates. So i told her I realiy liked august of 08 and am hoping for that. And she said well just don't pick 08-08-08 because thats what Ryan wants (my cousin). Now I am in NY and they are in Nebraska so anything too close would mean I would not have my family there, let along anything the same day!!! At first I was like whatever, and said I would see. Then I got on my high horse and told my mother she better call her sister and tell her im not giving up the date I want so easy. Neither of us have a ring on yet, so why does he get first dibs. Now I'm thinking about it and taking a look at other dates in an attempt to be flexible and not start a war, and have actually taken a liking to 06-07-08. I am a dork for the numbers b/c my b-day is 1-23
But long story short. (sorry for babbling) Just be open minded and hope this is your biggest problem to come. It's a crappy problem, but sit down talk to him...see why he picked that date, and if he is going to be an arse about the situation, then plan for you and do what you need to do to make your dream day EVERYTHING you imagine!!!
