Yesterday my cousin announced that he and his fiance' booked a date.....10/06/07.....hello, my wedding date is 10/12/07! Now what do I do?? My family is not going to want to come to our wedding less than a week later!
My Grandparents are very upset b/c we picked 10/12 b/c it is their 60th wedding anniversary! We told everyone that our 1st choice was 10/12 & then if our church & hall weren't available 11/23 was our back-up date!
He says its because we haven't officially booked the reception hall yet, although we are going next week. Still I specifically said 10/12!!!!
I was crying hysterical for hours and I don't know what to do! How can I tell him that he has hurt me so badly without causing a family war???
scappy123
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
First of all, I am sorry you are so upset, is your cousins wedding date definitely the week before you or is that a tentative date? I guess you can try talking to your cousin and see if they can or are willing to change, but its kind of a sticky situation
D's Girl
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Wow I am so sorry Did you verbally tell your family already including your Cousin that is the date you were booking? If so, I would really look into either talking to your Cousin and explain the reason for the date you have chosen and the meaning it has to you and your family. Maybe they can move theirs up a couple of weeks so it is not so close together.
You can also explain to them that it is a lot to ask of the family and you both have to keep that in mind. A week apart is nothing and everyone would have to travel, make arrangements and even the gifts one week after another might be a lot for some people
I would just try to sit down like adults and talk it over, I am sure you can agree on something to make both of you happy.
sr081906
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Because you are not booked yet does not mean that you did not decide on your date already. This is very bold to say that. Really! Almost 'defiant'.
Why should you change YOUR date? Didn't you decide on the date first and they knew? If so, they 'rushed' to steal your date.
I would not change a thing. If it's important for people to come to your wedding, well... they will come. If they did not come.... of well, that would mean you are not important enough... so their loss, not yours. And you would know when you stand with them.
Sorry you are going through all this!
kathrynlinton
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Did you pick your hall yet? And put a deposit down? If you did, then they have to realize that they are being unreasonable and they need to change their date.
My SIL got engaged two weeks after we did and we had said we were planning a January 06 wedding and they started planning a September 05 wedding. Now, b/c DH's (and her) family is from all of over the country, two weddings in a 4 month period (they live in Baltimore and we live in NY) with the holiday in between just wasn't going to work, so we moved our date back to March of 06 and didn't tell her.
Then...she got pregnant! And they moved their wedding to May of 05 (this was February!) so we then booked our date of February 25, 2006!
My long winded point is that things change, you have to be flexible and so do they. If you have a date, you have to tell them your feelings and concerns and hopefully they will be reasonable!
Shellycakes123
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
i would just change it, it sux, it wa s inconsiderate of your coising but if you ideally want everyone to come i would change it. sorry you have to deal with this!
Tobewed07
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
thanks ladies.....
1. We got engaged on 4/14, he proposed 2 weeks later. 2. we told everyone in our family that 10/12 was our 1st choice and 11/23 our second. He knew we wanted 10/12 b/c he kept joking around w/ my Dad and I saying he was going to pick 10/13...haha....NOT 3. We didn't put a deposit down, we went for a tasting 2 weeks ago and decided the next day that we would book Beckwith Pointe, but because I am in school at night we have to wait until next week when I am on break to go and talk to the BM and 'officially' book it. 4. We did book our DJ, photograoher and videographer...for 10/12 5. My best friend is getting married on 11/3, and we are in each others weddings, now what, we are both going to be so crazy in November!!
Here I thought everything was going great, no stress, until this! Mind you, we grew up togegther and I don't have any sibnlings so he is like a brother to me!!
I am so upset!!
sr081906
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Well, you did book your DJ, etc.. I would ask him why he booked that date knowing your wedding date. Again, because you did not book the hall did not mean you did not book other vendors. I would ask for an explanation. I believe he owes you that. This is not 'funny'.
Mikeysgirl
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
I would change my date and make it before theirs. I'm evil, I know
snydl40
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
I am so sorry-I would definetly tell him he has upset you and ask if he would consider moving his date back. This was a l;ow blow and you are justifiably upset. If he says no, then be the bigger person and don't let it bother you. I can't even imagine how I would feel-I just know this is what I would do. I'm sorry.
Smiles111
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
definitely tell him how upset he's made you. At least make him face up to what he's done in terms of hurting you, even if he doesn't change his date.
N.Y.bride
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
I am very sorry. Usually Id say stand your ground, send out save the dates right away etc.. but I just have this feeling you should move your wedding up before your cousins.. like September.
N.Y.bride
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Posted by Mikeysgirl
I would change my date and make it before theirs. I'm evil, I know
Thats what I just said.
Or make it 10/5 or 10/7 so people who are traveling only travel once. If they could go to 2 weddings in one weekend it might actually be nice.
AMGBride2008
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Same thing happened to my parents and my father's sister. My parents got engaged and then a few months later my aunt & uncle (my dad's sister and his best friend) got engaged. My parents started planning for an Oct. 2 wedding and once they threw that date out there, my aunt and uncle started planning for something like a Sept. 15 wedding. Everyone kept things the same... it was what it was... That is such a tacky thing to do and I would definitely fill your cousin in on how hurt you are, just to get it off your chest. After that, it's up to you on whether or not you want to adjust things. Just because you haven't officially booked anything doesn't give anyone the right to move in and steal your thunder (I'm kinda pissed for ya!!). People will come to your wedding whether it's 1 weeks after or 1 month.... esp. if it's family... if they don't, then you don't want them there anyway!
Good luck!!!
LBride
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
my brother, sister, and I are all getting married withing 8 months of each other and everyone has showed up to the engagement parties, bridal showers, and weddings. Don't worry!
weddingbunny
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
just relax, it will be fine. The people who want to be at your wedding will be there regardless.
FH's cousin just booked her wedding for a week before ours. Honestly, it's really not that big of a deal. Actually, I think it's fun to have somebody to share all the planning and excitement with!
NY031978
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Posted by Mikeysgirl
I would change my date and make it before theirs. I'm evil, I know
yup me too!!!!
cuteauburnininny
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Posted by Mikeysgirl
I would change my date and make it before theirs. I'm evil, I know
I feel so badly for you. I just Fm'd you with two great ideas.
1) Get married the week before them. Just make sure they have spent money on the hall already and can't get a refund.
2) Get married the day before them.
No! I'm really not evil but I dig the whole grandparent's anniversary thing and I think your cousin has no respect so.....SCREW THEM!!
Maybride07
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Re: Crying hysterical & don't iknow what to do!
Posted by Mikeysgirl
I would change my date and make it before theirs. I'm evil, I know
I agree, But I would make it Maybe a Sept Wedding, because you still don't want to have a date so close. I am sorry you are going through this, people are really screwed up.
