cutting the list

How did you ladies decide who gets cut or put on the be list. FH and I need to cut about 10 people and we can't agree on who it should be.

cutting the list

Are you inviting any work people? FH and I are in a debate about this now. If we decide to say 'we aren't inviting anyone from work' then we will eliminate a ton of people. If this is an option for you, you may want to think about it.

Also I would consider cutting people who you haven't really seen, hung out with, or talked to within the last year. If you are on the fence with them, cut them. Sounds bad lol but hey you have to cut somewhere right?

ETA- I am also looking for suggestions on this! This thread will be useful to me as well. ALthough I have some ideas, they arent enough lol Our guest list is enormous

cutting the list

I have to invite some work people and I really want him to invite his work people (he wants to cut them). I want to cut the 'friends' we havent seen, you know the ones you only see at someone elses event.

Re: cutting the list

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Posted by canoli

I want to cut the 'friends' we havent seen, you know the ones you only see at someone elses event.

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Exactly what I was saying above. If you are an acquaintance, there is no need for you to come to my wedding.

Re: cutting the list

i didn't invite anyone from work... although i felt bad about it, it eliminated about 8 people from my list. i have only been at my job for a year and a half, and am not SUPER close with any of them so i felt it was ok.

FH is inviting work people but he has been there for 6 years and is very close w his work friends.

cutting the list

If you haven't spoken to them in over a year I would consider cutting them.

cutting the list

I'm only inviting close friends and family. FH and I have HUGE families and we know pretty much everyone in my hometown. Our guestlist could have easily been 300+. You just need to cut people that you aren't THAT close with. You can't feel bad about it. If your parents or FHs parent are helping to pay sit with them and go over the guest list. It will be easy to cut 10 people. I also just told this to a friend the other day: not everyone wants to come to your wedding. If you're on the fence with anyone seriously think 'will they be surprised to be invited?' I've been invited to a couple weddings in the past year I didn't think I would be invited to. Guest lists don't have to be so stressful. Have a number and stick to it. People realize how much these things cost. I think the majority will not be offended.

cutting the list

My only other thing to add is look at people as groups. You're less likely to feel guilty about cutting people if you cut people who sort of 'belong' together... that way people won't feel bad about not being invited, if other people in their group of friends or colleagues weren't either. I don't know if I explained that well at all lol.

Re: cutting the list

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Posted by KK19

My only other thing to add is look at people as groups. You're less likely to feel guilty about cutting people if you cut people who sort of 'belong' together... that way people won't feel bad about not being invited, if other people in their group of friends or colleagues weren't either. I don't know if I explained that well at all lol.

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This is exactly how we got our guest list cut down. Certain groups of friends, none were invited. I think you explained it perfect.

cutting the list

I wish I knew who was going to actually come. We are inviting FH cousins children. If they don't bring the kids it would be 10 right off the top. I wish I could ask them.

Re: cutting the list

Can you say something like 'we arent inviting children?' maybe that will help?

cutting the list

FH wants his cousins from out of state to come, he is worried they wont if kids aren't invited.

cutting the list

I come from a huge family, both parents are one of 10 children not including step/half siblings. FH family is less than 40 people.

I decided not to invite any cousins, I love my family but i am the youngest grandchild on my mother's side thus making me closer in age to my 2nd cousins. I would have to invite both my 1st and 2nd cousins which would be about 100 people (not including my 2nd cousins with children). I did want to invite a few cousins but felt it would be unfair. I will only be inviting my aunts and uncles.

We also decided not to do any children accept our own, i have been told by my parents that unfair since my siblings have children; i hold firm a wedding isnt for children...they get bored, need someone to watch whatever they are doing, and stll cost the same or half the plate of an adult and wont appericate it. I said i rather use those same seats to have more of our friends present. I guess it's easier for us because we are paying for it ourselevs so no one else has a say.

I cant say i agree with the one year rule; i go thru phase with most of my close friends. We talk a lot for a few months at a time and then life gets in the way and before we know it a year to 18 months has passed before we talk regularly again.

cutting the list

We have the opposite problem. Our minimum is very high, and we have big families, but we have lost touch with lots of people over time and now I am worried we won't meet our minimum. Probably being irrational, but we are inviting lots of extras because I am worried we will get a lot of declines.

Re: cutting the list

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Posted by Karin

We have the opposite problem. Our minimum is very high, and we have big families, but we have lost touch with lots of people over time and now I am worried we won't meet our minimum. Probably being irrational, but we are inviting lots of extras because I am worried we will get a lot of declines.

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What is your minimum?
BTW we looked at our list for 3 min today and didnt cut anyone ughhh I think i might have to forget to send some people STD.

cutting the list

200 is our minimum. Our STD list is approaching 400. LOL Now just watch all of them accept!

Re: cutting the list

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Posted by canoli

FH wants his cousins from out of state to come, he is worried they wont if kids aren't invited.

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2014 crasher here. We're not doing ANY children at our wedding under the age of 16.

This eliminates about 35 people just from MY side. It also allows my 'favorites' aunts and uncles to be able to attend.


FH and I also made a 'deal' with our parents that if they are saying that we HAVE to invite someone (like one of their friends)... then our parents are responsible for the plate.


Maybe nix the kids from the GL and hire a babysitter for the night so your FH cousins can attend?

Re: cutting the list

when we needed to do cuts we decided to not invite any single friends with guests. We figured if they happen to get into a relationship before hand we will tell them they can bring their significant other because some people will be RSVPing no by then.