D of the D (Dilemma of the Day)
Here is mine:
My guest list is 15 people over the amount of people that will fit in my room. I know I have agonized over this for months, and everyone told me that I will get at least 15 no's, not to worry. But to a constant worrier, this is very troubling, especially paired with the fact that almost everyone invited is a CLOSE family member (aunts, uncles, first cousins) or very close friend. The room only holds 158 people and thus we didn't invite extraneous folks. We both have big families.
FMIL added 26 people to my nice-sized list a few months ago. They are all her father's bros/sisters and a few cousins. Now, we are not inviting anyone further than 1st cousins because we do not have the room. We picked the room because we love it and because we wanted the day to be celebrated with only those who were very important to us (or at least that was my thinking). So that's problem #1 - these are not people we know. However, FMIL feels they 'should get an invite.' She also says 'Don't worry, most of them will not come.' She thinks 4-10 of the 26 will come. If that's true, we have no problem.
If they DO come, we have issues. I don't expect a lot of no's from the rest of the list, again, because they are all VERY close family and friends. I KNOW some people will say no, but I just don't think it will be a lot. If we are over, either my RH will have to make room somehow (which I do not think they will do if it's a fire code issue) or someone's going to have to tell some folks 'Sorry, we made a mistake, you can't come.' And forever ruin any family ties there may have been to those people.
SO, I emailed FMIL (against FH's wishes, and without his knowledge, actually) and asked her to look at the list one more time since we are 15 people over, and if we do not get that many no's, 'we will be in a big bind.' I didn't dwell on it, just sent the list and asked her to look it over - esp. those who did not get STD's (more than half of the 26 extraneous folks).
FFIL left a message on our VM last night (which I heard this morning, FH didn't know about) in which he said that they got the list but can't open it. My email today had a message from FMIL, saying she got the pic of my niece I sent in the same email, but that they can't open the excel attachment - she thinks AOL 'reconfigured' something.
I think she is trying to ignore the issue, because why would they get one attachment and not the other? And ever since sending it, I feel like maybe I should just wait it out and trust her when she says they are not going to come. (All are older, some are very sick, on bed rest, and most live out of state.)
SO - here's the question - thanks to everyone who got this far! - should I drop it, or send it again? They live in FL and are coming here for a few weeks soon, but I did it via email because I am nervous for some reason and felt more comfortable not asking her in person.
TIA!!!!!
