Dad & Step dad..give away

JZNCK Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:13 PM

Dad & Step dad..give away

I have been so lucky to have a father and a step father. My dad and I aren't that close, but he's my dad.. My step father and I are extremely close. I want my step dad to walk me down the aisle BUT I have to have my dad as well, because he's my dad.. I'm so stuck..Has anyone had this problem? if so what are you doing? any suggestions about what I should do? Thanks

sandj100304 Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:15 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

would either of them mind if they both walked you down? you could have one on either side of you.

JZNCK Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:17 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

I was thinking that. I'm afraid to ask, I don't know if my dad will feel put out.. he should understand, my step dad and my mom have been together since I was 5 and I lived with them. So I'm just going to ask I think.. Thanks

Kelly9904 Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:19 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

Maybe your step dad can walk you the first half of the asile and then your dad the second half. THis way both that individual time with you and your dad will still get the honor of giving you away if thats important to him!

palebride Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:19 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

that's a tough situation
i think the only thing you can do is ask and see what they say
hoefully they'll be understanding about it
good luck!!

JodiBabe Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:19 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

I think you should have both. I had my dad & my daughter walk me up the aisle. If I didn't have my daughter then I would have had my stepfather too.

Edited to add: If you don't get along with your dad than why does everyone feeel that they 'have to' have their dads walk them up the aisle. You can have anyone you want do it or walk alone.

I didn't ask my dad how he felt about my daughter walking me up too I told them that this is the way it was going to happen.

soon2bmrs2004 Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:23 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

I think it would be nice if both walked you down the aisle.
I like the idea that someone mentioned about having one walk you half way and the other walk you th rest.
Best of luck to you!

swags1016 Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:25 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

I did! I don't get along with my Dad and love my Pop! So I had my Step-dad (pop) walk me halfway down the aisle and hand me off to my dad!

butterfly20 Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:26 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

id see if they would both do it, one on each arm

mishandgerard Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:35 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

i went through that last year. my stepfather has been in my life since 1980 and well the other one for a long time was just a sperm donor.

so i asked my stepdad to walk me down. it was a long hard decision, but i made the right one. in fact I even approached my dad about it and told him i wanted my stepdad to do it. well, he said he expected that and would never ask me to do different.

although a few weeks ago it came up in conversation he mentioned that he wished it was him and would have loved to do it, but he understands my decision.

on the other hand my good friend wanted her stepdad to walk her down, bbut her father threw a hairy fit ....why should he do it, i am her father....yada yada ya. she gave in and regrets it to this day. she is and never will be close to him. she is very close to her stepfather though.

sorry so long, but its a tough subject. i wish you good luck.

oh, i did have my dad give out the bubbles at the church. he was so happy he could do that.

JZNCK Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:38 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

Thanks guys!! I think I like the idea of half and half.. Maybe I can have my biological dad walk me half then give me to my step dad. Thats a good idea.. It is hard..but keep the suggestions comin. it's helping a lot..

Sassyz75 Posted: Oct 09, 2003 10:50 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

I am very close to both my Dad and my Step Dad.. although I can speak more to my Step Dad and get really great advise from him, my Dad is always my Dad...

SO... I had both my Mom and my Dad walk me down the aisle.... my mom had a huge part in raising me- I lived with her- so I couldn't just have my Dad walk me down the aisle.

But- I did have a special dance with my dad & my step dad which was really nice.

do what ever makes you comfortable because no one should tell you how to express your feelings.

lltravis Posted: Oct 09, 2003 11:26 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

I was in the same situation..I am having them both walk me down...one on each side...i also did not really ask but just let them know this was how it would be...both have been in my life and I think they understood my situtaion...I then will dance with my mom at the reception...
It is never an easy thing with multiple families but follow your heart and it will all work out...they know it is not easy for you too.
Best of Luck

JZNCK Posted: Oct 09, 2003 11:30 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

Thanks.. I like that your going to dance with your mom. I think I am as well. my mom is my everything.. and i want her to feel as special as I possible can.. Thank you

Nora101004 Posted: Oct 10, 2003 12:58 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

I'd do it 1/2 way each. Could you get them together and talk it out. What if you mom and step dad walk right in front of you and then your dad walks you down. All 3 parents could be at the alter to 'give you away'.

shannon326 Posted: Oct 10, 2003 04:27 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

I am having the same dilema. I think I am going to have my Dad walk me down first (so we have our own special moment together & so He still feels the spotlight when everyone first see's me) Then my step dad will join us half way and they both will give me away!! It is actually symbolic to me that way first I had my dad then was lucky to have another wonderful man enter my life. The only thing is I do not know how to approach my dad with this. I hope he is ok with it!!

Donna Posted: Oct 10, 2003 04:37 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

I like the idea someone mentioned of first your dad (he was the first man in your life) then continue the way with your stepdad (2nd man in your life) who will take you to your husband.
Or what about both of the dads walk you halfway then you continue by yourself to your husband.
Or how about your dad the first half then your mom and step-dad the next half.

Sorry that was too many choices - my favorite is 1/2 dad 1/2 stepdad

kikabu98 Posted: Oct 10, 2003 04:49 PM

Re: Dad & Step dad..give away

i lost my dad this past year. one of the hardest aspects of my wedding will be that my dad will not be there to give me away. you are so lucky and should involve both your step dad and dad in your ceremony, especially because you have a good relationship with both. your step dad has been in your life for a long time he should not be left out and your dad is your dad. dads feel so great when their daughter gets married. if they wont mind, walking you down would be a great idea.

take care