Dealbreaker??

Shan2011 Posted: May 23, 2011 05:38 PM

Dealbreaker??

So I had decided on the royalton and was going to do a 4 or 3 o'clock wedding on mlk weekend, however I found out one of my bridesmaids has a destination wedding that wknd. Now in changing the date- that twilight option time is not available. It is either 1130 am or an evening wedding. I like the evening - I think people let loose more and have more fun at night. My FH wants day. And he feels very strongly about it where I feel strongly that 1130 is just too early.

My 2 nd choice hall does one weddibg a day, so we could choose the times. But it's just that- my second choice. Would you go with choice 2 or suck it up and have a day reception.

Moonmist09 Posted: May 23, 2011 05:39 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

yikes. you would both have to sit down and list each of your own pors and cons as to why he wants a day wedding and why you want a night wedding. see if your can compromise. if neither of you are willing to budge, then maybe you should go with your second choice and do it at the time you want.

Jmrosa1 Posted: May 23, 2011 05:41 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Posted by Moonmist09

yikes. you would both have to sit down and list each of your own pors and cons as to why he wants a day wedding and why you want a night wedding. see if your can compromise. if neither of you are willing to budge, then maybe you should go with your second choice and do it at the time you want.

Yea I agree with this.

AlexandMike2012 Posted: May 23, 2011 05:41 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Posted by Moonmist09

yikes. you would both have to sit down and list each of your own pors and cons as to why he wants a day wedding and why you want a night wedding. see if your can compromise. if neither of you are willing to budge, then maybe you should go with your second choice and do it at the time you want.

I agree with this

AwaitingAugust Posted: May 23, 2011 05:43 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

i hate to sound heartless but why not just keep your current RH & time and not include the BM in the wedding? I know you want her to be there, but you can't plan your wedding around others (except for immediate family of course)

ps: i had a Sunday @ 11:30am ceremony ... it was fine even though me and the BMs had to wake up at 6:30am to get ready & take pictures ... all my guests had a great time and were dancing the entire night. That said, i do kind of wish i was able to choose a later time (but only if the price was the same)

foodgirl785 Posted: May 23, 2011 05:51 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

I agree that 11:30 is too early. Not only because I don't think people will let loose, but like someone else said, you have to be up that much earlier to get ready.

What did you like better about the place you chose over your 2nd choice? If time is important to both of you and you cant compromise with your original venue, then your 2nd choice will be your best bet.

Debbie2011 Posted: May 23, 2011 06:15 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Posted by Shan2011

My 2 nd choice hall does one weddibg a day, so we could choose the times. But it's just that- my second choice. Would you go with choice 2 or suck it up and have a day reception.

Well, when you say it's your '2nd choice', that's assuming that your first choice is the venue you love starting at twilight. When you take the twilight out of the equation and have an 11:30am wedding, is that venue still your first choice?

Shan2011 Posted: May 23, 2011 06:16 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

I really want all the girls to be there even though I know I shouldn't plan around someone else. :(

The hall we chose I liked better than choice 2 because of the food, the set up of the ballroom and mostly bc I felt a connection with it.

Ellynrose Posted: May 23, 2011 08:29 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

I'm getting married at 11:30. Personally, I do not see a problem with it - esp. if you love the hall. Just my opinion.

1112bride Posted: May 23, 2011 09:42 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Honestly, I agree that you should just stick with your original hall and time of day, after all its YOUR wedding. I guarantee that most people would not be as flexible if it was their own wedding.

NYtherapist Posted: May 23, 2011 10:08 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

I agree with the others who've indicated keeping your current date/time.

When FH and I began looking at RHs, his sister said, 'My friend is getting married on such-and-such date, so don't pick that.' We were not about to plan our wedding around his sister's friend's wedding.

Shan2011 Posted: May 23, 2011 10:13 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Normally I wouldn't change the date for someone but since we are in the earliest of stages I didn't feel it was a big deal. I originally chose the Sunday of mlk wknd since I work in a public school and I have that Monday off.
For me, it's not a big deal if I pick a Saturday the same month.

SoonToBeEMM Posted: May 23, 2011 10:59 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Posted by AlexandMike2012

Posted by Moonmist09

yikes. you would both have to sit down and list each of your own pors and cons as to why he wants a day wedding and why you want a night wedding. see if your can compromise. if neither of you are willing to budge, then maybe you should go with your second choice and do it at the time you want.

ITA

BeachyBride3 Posted: May 24, 2011 10:50 AM

Re: Dealbreaker??

I'm sure you chose your bridesmaid because they are as close to you as immediate family would be. I would try to accommodate as much as you can while still making yourself happy. I like night weddings as well. You can always take pics during the day and have both the day and night pics then.

irisheyezrsmilen Posted: May 24, 2011 11:07 AM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Posted by Shan2011

Normally I wouldn't change the date for someone but since we are in the earliest of stages I didn't feel it was a big deal. I originally chose the Sunday of mlk wknd since I work in a public school and I have that Monday off.
For me, it's not a big deal if I pick a Saturday the same month.

sounds like you got a good attitude about the whole situation, most girls would have went total bridezilla with this lol as long as YOU and your FH dont mind the change of date and time go with it. i totally get wanting to have your friends be there i would be in the same boat about my girls. just make sure that you are happy and not regretful with the change.
i've gone to early morning weddings and have had just as much fun as ive had at sat night, its not that big of deal. so people may complain they have to wake up early but everyone gets over it.

NikkiB0401 Posted: May 24, 2011 01:13 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Maybe you could explain to your FH that the reason you don't want early morning is because you would have to be up at the crack of dawn to get ready and feel like maybe you wont enjoy it that way.

pixietina Posted: May 24, 2011 01:19 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

I am having a day wedding and I don't think it will be a big deal. Yes I will have to wake up the crack of dawn, but I probably couldn't sleep anyways! I say stick with your first choice.

Shan2011 Posted: May 24, 2011 02:24 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Posted by NikkiB0401

Maybe you could explain to your FH that the reason you don't want early morning is because you would have to be up at the crack of dawn to get ready and feel like maybe you wont enjoy it that way.

He said he gets sleepy!!! True story!
And he is dead serious

justnicethings Posted: May 24, 2011 03:02 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Which came first? Your wedding or the destination wedding?? I wouldn't change the date. It's a LOT easier for your BM to stay local than go to that wedding. I know it sucks, but I'd keep the date and time you originally wanted.

HTH, let us know your decision!!

jettahot Posted: May 24, 2011 04:17 PM

Re: Dealbreaker??

Posted by Ellynrose

I'm getting married at 11:30. Personally, I do not see a problem with it - esp. if you love the hall. Just my opinion.[/QUOT

me too! this!