DEALING WITH STRESS!!

I have less than three months to go and I feel like I'm falling apart. For what is supposed to be the most wonderful day of your life, the stress prior to it doesn't make it seem worth it. I'm dealing with all sorts of issues from my photographer playing missing-in-action games with me, to my Maid of Honor (lives out of state) complaining that she doesn't like the dress that she picked out (and didn't pay for by the way, I did), to future Mother-in-Law from Hell issues out the wazoo, family disputes, financial burdens, etc., etc. I got my first batch of responses back last night and what did I do while opening them? Cried! Every little thing sets me off and what could be a minor situation turns into a massive catastrophe! Can anyone relate to what I'm experiencing or offer some advice as to how to get over this? I feel almost numb and I don't want to start the rest of my life with this "whoahes me!" attitude.

I'm not into the flashy lights & the club scene or DJs that try to overpower the music. His equipment is modern, only needs a small area to set up ..... He's been in business for over 15 years so you know he's established. He's within your range so give him a call - 718-321-3162 For whatever its worth, tell him I sent you. Our wedding is this March 25th at the Carriage House @ Milleridge.

Thansk for your help!

Sharon,

I can understand what you are going through, I watched my wife go through the same thing as we approached our wedding date.

As each day came closer, the problems got more intense and my wife became more upset. Unfortunately some people (family & friends) can be selfish and down right nasty. This is your wedding day, as you said "the most wonderful day of your life".

Sharon, I can sympathize and my wedding is still a year away. It can get overwhelming at times but try to focus on how wonderful your wedding will be or try to take one day or night off and just relax. Try maybe to delegate something to your finace or someone you can count on (like tracking down and dealing with the problem with your photographer) to eliminate some stress. Make a checklist, prioritize [I have been working too much lately, I sound so businesslike LOL :)]. Try to remember that no matter what happens you will be so happy that this is the day you are marrying your fiance, you will look beautiful, youwon't have to love with your mother-in-law (hopefully) and that it will all work out in the end. I have some of the same issues going on, family issues, money (need at least 2 more jobs to pay for this wedding), his family drives me crazy but I try to concentrate on me and him for a while and don't answer the phone one day. Sometimes it may feel like weddings just aren't worth all of the stress it can cause, but then you love it. Sorry, I keep rambling, but keep your chin up!!

Taks Care-Lori

As each day came closer, the problems got more intense and my wife became more upset. Unfortunately some people (family & friends) can be selfish and down right nasty. This is your wedding day, as you said "the most wonderful day of your life".

Hey Sharon

LTNS! I am sorry to hear that all that stuff is STILL going on. I hope the responces that you get help you feel some what "Not Alone".

I've been walking around w/tears in my eyes for a while now. I'm 11 weeks away & I actually started to break out in hives! (no kidding!) It was either my health or changing the way I was doing things. So this is what I did:

SET BOUNDARIES. I kept trying to make everyone happy and was ending up miserable. Now, I don't try to offend but I'm honest w/myself and my limitations. If I can't do it, I can't do it. Communication is KEY!

1 - Have your fiance interface w/his family. The burden of this should not be yours alone. They'll handle any bad news or disappointments better from him anyway. Its worked wonders for me.

Thank you all very much (Rob, Judy, Lori, Karen). I'm glad to know I'm not the only one dealing with these issues. I know I need to chill badly. I'm at the point where I think I'm going to shove aromatherapy candles up my nostrils. It's amazing how you can go from elation to depression within a few months. You are all right, I need to focus more on the true meaning of the ceremony than all the background noise I'm dealing with now. Maybe I will dump some of the responsibilities on Bob. I always believed in that theory "No one can do it better than you". However I feel at this point, even if it things aren't exactly the way I want them, it would be better to have them done than to kill myself over minor points that I may not even take notice of. Thanks again.

I'm having Celebrity Music for my wedding too. Jay Letterman (he does a show at night on WALK-FM is great. He has a website at www.celebmusic.com where you can e-mail him your details and get a quote. Or you can call.

Good Luck!

Hey Sharon!

I'm sorry to hear that you are blue, honey but I have one thing to add: PRAY, and this too shall pass....

i had to laugh when i read about your stress. it brought back a lot of memories. i got married dec 4 1999 and let me tell you i know what you are going throug. i was extremely organized with all that could be done, but my lists just kept getting longer and longer, i too believe i could only do it and nobodycan help. i broke down so many times that all my friends knew when it was comming, you just have to realize that it is ok to feel this way, you have so much on your mind not only about your wedding day but the start of a whole new life. take a dep breath and if you have the time do something other then the wedding even if it's for 5 minutes. if you can get a body massage or a facial that helps believe me!!! when i read everyones messages i look back and would love to do it all again and not just the wedding day but all the planning. just remember it's gone and you won;'t be able to bring your wedding day back, try to relax, i know you can't be it will get better-- the day your on your honeymoon~~~~~~

Does anyone know where the bridal building in Manhattan is and where I can get a directory of all the manufacturers?? Help!!

Cathy, I think that I remember you aren't you the one that got married at Floral Terrace? If so how was it? Any advise? My wedding is there on the 26th of February! Jamelle

Jamelle

I KNEW I FORGOT TO WRITE YOU AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT, EVERYONE AND I MEAN EVERYONE IS STILL TALKING ABOUT OUR WEDDING AND THE FABLOUS PLACE. JIMMY PROMISED EVERYTHING AND THEN SOME. I ALWAYS HAD SOMEONE BY MY SIDE TO HELP ME WITH ANYTHING. THE FOOD WAS AMAZING THE BEST THAT ANYONE HAS EVER HAD (WHAT PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME) FOUR PEOPLE FROM MY WEDDING ARE ALREADY BOOKING THE PLACE. GOD I CAN JUST GO ON AND ON AND ON. I WILL TELL TO THAT YOU DON;T HAVE TO WORRY WITH FLORAL TERRACE IT'S THE BEST CHOICE EVER!!! IF YOU WANT MORE CAUSE I AM SURE I HAVE TONS TO TELL YOU E-MAIL ME.. HOPE ALL YOUR PLANNING IS GOING WELL.. AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT IT WILL BE OVER. TALK TO YOU LATER. CATHY

I went to two weddings there in the past few months. To me it seemed like a factory with no personal attention. At the end of my best friends wedding they rushed her out because there was another wedding after hers that they had to get ready for. The DJ (house DJ) stopped playing ten minutes before the end to aid in the get'm outta here for the next wedding turn around.

I have to ask honestly..is the wedding really worth all this aggravation? It's ultra expensive, it lasts for a few hours and then it's over...great that you have memories...but from my 10 married friends I've heard that most people are so sick on their honeymoon from the stress. eight out of ten wishes that they had had something small and saved the cash for a mortage....funny after you look back, how it changes....

I confronted my mother-in-law to be...confronted my fiance and said "small" or nothing....after much bickering and arguing...we're having a fairly small brunch at the Three Village Inn..they do almost everything for you....honestly if they didn't...I'd just elope...if you all let this five hour event make you sick...you won't have the strength to survive the first battle over whose house you are going to spend the holidays at.....Take your vitamins......and good luck...JessicaE

Kathy, Congratulations for taking control and having what you want. Many kudos to you. Yes, when you look at the way you described it doesn't make much sense. Even though I'm in a business where I depend on people spending lots of money on their wedding, whenever they ask I suggest they do something more modest and buy a house! There is another way of looking at it, however. If you think of the whole process as a way to learn how to create and negotiate together, it can be really good practice for the marriage and a way to bring you closer together (kind of like a very expensive exercise in learning about each other and developing your relationship) Remember, everything you're going through pales in comparison to ....... having a baby! Make sure you're prepared for that experience!

Good luck, Mark

I confronted my mother-in-law to be...confronted my fiance and said "small" or nothing....after much bickering and arguing...we're having a fairly small brunch at the Three Village Inn..they do almost everything for you....honestly if they didn't...I'd just elope...if you all let this five hour event make you sick...you won't have the strength to survive the first battle over whose house you are going to spend the holidays at.....Take your vitamins......and good luck...JessicaE