Dear ________________

Dear loud speaking co-worker,

Please stop shouting about your 'crackberry'. I understand that it is not working, and is apparently your addiction, but it is really annoying to listen to you tell everyone who you speak with on the phone that your crackberry isn't working.

I feel bad for the people who have to sit next to you!

Here's an idea -- call the helpdesk and get a new one!

Signed,

The one with the ear plugs sitting on the otherside of the office.

Dear Eye Drops,

Please start working quicker! The dr gave you to me yesterday so my eye infection would go away but my eye is still swollen and hurts. I look like a freak! Please start working so ppl stop looking at me funny.


Thank you,

Your puffy-eyed friend

fx desk...

why must you give me a hard time when trying to convert gbp, eur to usd ..... whyyyyyyyyy

its the day before my 3 dya wknd.. and i do not need all this fing stress...

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

xoxo
me

Dear Universe,

What should i do w/my life!!!!! ?

Dear Cold that has decided to drain the life out of me,

PLEASE GO AWAY!!! ARRGGHH

Dear Employers,

I have a really great resume...please call me, interview me and hire me with decent pay and good benefits!


Dear ...,
flghdlfghdlfgkjhldfkjhgldfhg


Dear money,

Can you please start growing on trees? thanks!
xxooo

Dear Co-worker-

You have a desk phone for a reason! Use it! Stop walking around the office on a cell phone -- pacing the hallway -- disrupting everyone else trying to work!

dear lazyyy obeseeee bish


get a job. stop faking ur injuries. i dont care if ur belly button suddenly hurts u. that doesnt entitle u to lay in bed for the next 8 yrs. YES 8 YRS WITHOUT A JOB! ur grosss fatt and disgusting. ur a waste of space. imnot a doctor. stop imming me every 2 days asking for a diagnosis. i dont want u at my wedding. im trying to phase u out instead of blwoing up on u and making u cry.

LEAVE ME ALONEE!!! u SMELL like kitty liter, only ur cat died 3478923749 yrs ago!

Dear Life

I need a new job!!! but i feel bad for my boss b/c he's really nice, i feel trapped here and i need to move forward, plus i got a wedding to plan...

Dear FH,


Please do not call and ask for my opinion if you don't really want to hear it if it differs from yours. YES, it is CUCKOO BANANAS to want to take the Path train from Newark to go to Whitehall St and then back to Newark and THEN drive home when you could just get in your car, drive to Whitehall and then drive home. If you want to do it, that's fine but don't get all pissy with me when I tell you that its a crazy idea!!

Sincerely,

Your FW who wishes you would understand that she knows NY better than you do.

---

Posted by grkbarbie

dear lazyyy obeseeee bish


get a job. stop faking ur injuries. i dont care if ur belly button suddenly hurts u. that doesnt entitle u to lay in bed for the next 8 yrs. YES 8 YRS WITHOUT A JOB! ur grosss fatt and disgusting. ur a waste of space. imnot a doctor. stop imming me every 2 days asking for a diagnosis. i dont want u at my wedding. im trying to phase u out instead of blwoing up on u and making u cry.

LEAVE ME ALONEE!!! u SMELL like kitty liter, only ur cat died 3478923749 yrs ago!

---

Dear Air conditioner,

Please stop blowing cold air on me. There is no need for it to be 55 degrees in here.

Thanks,
Freezing

Dear Co-Workers,

Please stop walking soooo slowly past my cubicle!!! I am trying to plan my e-party and chat on LIW!!!! Everytime you walk by I need to minimize the screen and pretend like I'm working and I am getting tired of playing this game! It's practically the end of the day...it's almost a holiday weekend...can't we all just sit in our cubicles and slack off/waste time at once?!?!?

Sincerely,

Me!

PS- Dear Co-worker in the cube in the corner...I know you play the 'minimize the screen' game too...except your really bad about it...and everyone knows!

Dear Ex Childhood Friend:

I regret to inform you that I really didn't want you back into my life when I accepted your myspace friend request 3 yrs ago. I felt as though it was the nice thing to do & obviously I was wrong!!!!!

I am so sorry you are frustrated w/whatever you are in life and the Dr's have yet to balance out your meds but I am not a door mat for you to dump on when the voices in your head are all speaking at once.

I'm sorry to say that breaking our friendship via FB did not drive me into hysterics nor cause me to consume mass amounts of wine, I did that on my own accord (happily).

FYI for your future friendship type relationships whether it is w/actual people or the voices in your head....it is of common practice, when one feels that their friend has wronged them in some way to discuss it in a mature & calm manner....NOT to e-mail them on FB! After all you are 32, aren't you?

To conclude, it is also a good idea if you understand that everyone lives different lives and just b/c I don't call you back exactly when you deem appropriate DOES not in any way what so ever make me a Snob.

Thank you!

Dear December,

Please arrive quickly. I am sick of working a shiitty part-time, minimum wage job w/ a bunch of high school kids that is filled with drama. i'm not in high school anymore. Im graduating college in december; which is why i want you to come quickly.

the more i work the more depressed i get. its very frustrating lately. i just want to graduate & get a real job. please, let the 2nd half of this year fly by quickly. im begging you.

thanks

Dear nosey co-workers,

it's none of ur business if i decide to wear my e-ring to work (i'm a waitress). i've waited 4.5 years for this ring, ive only had it for a few months, i LOVE it, i have insurance for it, and i'm wearing it. i dont need ur constant opinions on the subject, u just piss me off. so butt out!!

THANKS!

---

Posted by Lu2700

Dear nosey co-workers,

it's none of ur business if i decide to wear my e-ring to work (i'm a waitress). i've waited 4.5 years for this ring, ive only had it for a few months, i LOVE it, i have insurance for it, and i'm wearing it. i dont need ur constant opinions on the subject, u just piss me off. so butt out!!

THANKS!

---

Good for you!!!!!! If I may I am going to add that ppl need to but out if I choose to wear my ring to bed.......nothing is going to happen to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear plane -

Please take off on time today. I'm only going away for 3 days, and really don't want to spend a full one in the airport.

Signed-
Just trying to get away

Dear Electric Pole,
Thanks for being my my blind spot today as I'm backing up and having me hit right into you damage my car. Spending money to get my car fixed is really what Ive been wanting to do.
Thanks,
Blindspot driver