Dear Dad,

Please do not send me a text message telling me that you think it is not nice that I am registering for gifts that I plan to return. It is not your concern.

We didn't even want a registry. We have been living together for 6 years; we don't NEED a lot of things. But guests expect you to have things on your registry, as many do not like to give money at weddings. So we registered. And yes, we registered for things that we have no intention of keeping. Even if we did want to keep them all, where would we put them? We don't have room for the crap we already own!

Furthermore, I do not want to end up with some ugly picture frame or vase that I hate and can't return but I didn't have anything on my registry and Aunt Sylvia refuses to gift money.

So thanks for your opinion, but no thanks.

Amy

Go ahead and flame me, but I cant be the only one who thinks its a bit wrong that you are registering for things you have no intention on keeping... When I shop from someone's registry, I try to put some thought into it, get a collection of items, make a nice basket for it... and not to mention the fact that I take time out of my day to go to the store (sometimes multiple stores) to find your gifts... If you intend on returning these things from the very beginning, I'd actually be really pissed and could have just gotten you a quick and easy gift card instead. Or even easier, just written out a check.

I returned some stuff from my registry, but it was things we no longer needed or needed to swap out for something else we needed more. I have to side with your dad sorry to say...

Why dont you create a HM registry instead... or maybe try to add stuff to the registry that can be used to replace your 6 yr old home items

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

Go ahead and flame me, but I cant be the only one who thinks its a bit wrong that you are registering for things you have no intention on keeping... When I shop from someone's registry, I try to put some thought into it, get a collection of items, make a nice basket for it... and not to mention the fact that I take time out of my day to go to the store (sometimes multiple stores) to find your gifts... If you intend on returning these things from the very beginning, I'd actually be really pissed and could have just gotten you a quick and easy gift card instead. Or even easier, just written out a check.

I returned some stuff from my registry, but it was things we no longer needed or needed to swap out for something else we needed more. I have to side with your dad sorry to say...

Why dont you create a HM registry instead... or maybe try to add stuff to the registry that can be used to replace your 6 yr old home items

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ITA!

Keep in mind that you will receive a lot of grief from family members who come over and say things like 'oh did you like my gift?' or 'where did such and such go?' and what will you say in your thank you's? if you lie and say something like 'it is proudly displayed____' or 'we use it all the time' and then it's not there when they come over people will be disappointed.

Or maybe have a bunch of very small registries this way you actually get things you want. One of my cousins had three and only registered for about 10 items at each place because she had lived alone since she was 18.

Or, some places like Crate and Barrel have holiday decorations and things like that. Maybe register for stuff like that that you've always wanted but never had the money to buy?

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

Go ahead and flame me, but I cant be the only one who thinks its a bit wrong that you are registering for things you have no intention on keeping... When I shop from someone's registry, I try to put some thought into it, get a collection of items, make a nice basket for it... and not to mention the fact that I take time out of my day to go to the store (sometimes multiple stores) to find your gifts... If you intend on returning these things from the very beginning, I'd actually be really pissed and could have just gotten you a quick and easy gift card instead. Or even easier, just written out a check.

I returned some stuff from my registry, but it was things we no longer needed or needed to swap out for something else we needed more. I have to side with your dad sorry to say...

Why dont you create a HM registry instead... or maybe try to add stuff to the registry that can be used to replace your 6 yr old home items

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I have to agree also. Besides, even if you and FH have been living together and already have things, wouldn't you want to replace them with NEW things????????? That's what we did

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

Go ahead and flame me, but I cant be the only one who thinks its a bit wrong that you are registering for things you have no intention on keeping... When I shop from someone's registry, I try to put some thought into it, get a collection of items, make a nice basket for it... and not to mention the fact that I take time out of my day to go to the store (sometimes multiple stores) to find your gifts... If you intend on returning these things from the very beginning, I'd actually be really pissed and could have just gotten you a quick and easy gift card instead. Or even easier, just written out a check.

I returned some stuff from my registry, but it was things we no longer needed or needed to swap out for something else we needed more. I have to side with your dad sorry to say...

Why dont you create a HM registry instead... or maybe try to add stuff to the registry that can be used to replace your 6 yr old home items

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I have to agree as well. That is just a waste of time. The honeymoon registry is something that couples that have been already living together and do not need new household items are doing now.

FH and I have lived together for 5 years and we'replanning on replacing the old with the new!!

There's so many things to register for, I don't understand how you don't want anything....maybe I'm just a shopoholic....you could always use new towels, more table cloths, curtains, bed sheets, comforter/down comforter...etc.
I can't wait for my bridal shower, it's going to be better than Christmas!!!

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Posted by Pixie

FH and I have lived together for 5 years and we'replanning on replacing the old with the new!!

There's so many things to register for, I don't understand how you don't want anything....maybe I'm just a shopoholic....you could always use new towels, more table cloths, curtains, bed sheets, comforter/down comforter...etc.
I can't wait for my bridal shower, it's going to be better than Christmas!!!

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We are replacing a lot of things (dishes, towels, etc) but have very little room for new things, and frankly we'd rather get the money now and then go and buy things as we would like.

Also, re: the honeymoon registry, we thought about that, but couldn't find one that took less than 7 or 8% in fees and FH didn't like that.

I totally respect the girls that agree with my dad, but I was also annoyed with how he said it.

What I don't get is... if you don't need anything new, why register at all? For that matter, why have a bridal shower? The shower is an old tradition and comes from when people didn't live together for years before they got married. If your house is already so set up that you don't need anything, then a shower is kind of pointless as it's supposed to help set up the new couple's home. Right?

ETA I guess I was just assuming that if you were registering, you were having a shower, I didn't realize it was because you were concrned about getting gifts at the wedding...

but I still agree that it's rude to register and return. That's a sneaky way of dictatiing what people give you and I can see why your dad would say something. If people don't want to give you cash, that's too bad.

'We are replacing a lot of things (dishes, towels, etc) but have very little room for new things, and frankly we'd rather get the money now and then go and buy things as we would like.'

The best thing to do in that case then would be to register for gift cards or store cards. Having the intention early on to return is just rude. If I were someone buying off of your registry and later found this out, I would be BEYOND pissed

I can definately understand your position...

I can honestly say it wouldn't bother me if someone returned a gift I purchased - I'm sure it's happened and I've not known about it.

There are other options out there for Honeymoon funds if you want.. I've FM'd you.

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Posted by brittndave

sorry but i agree with the other girls. if you're going to return everything then don't register at all. imo it's extremely rude

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ITA

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

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Posted by brittndave

sorry but i agree with the other girls. if you're going to return everything then don't register at all. imo it's extremely rude

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ITA

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same here. Its also a waste of your time (and theirs). Just register for the things that you actually plan on replacing the older items and then allow for gift cards. They do not expire. Reg at stores like bloomingdales that you can use the GC to buy clothing or stuff for the home. Since you already have everything a bunch of BBB GC will probably not help you at all.

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Posted by AmyElizabeth

Please do not send me a text message telling me that you think it is not nice that I am registering for gifts that I plan to return. It is not your concern.

We didn't even want a registry. We have been living together for 6 years; we don't NEED a lot of things. But guests expect you to have things on your registry, as many do not like to give money at weddings. So we registered. And yes, we registered for things that we have no intention of keeping. Even if we did want to keep them all, where would we put them? We don't have room for the crap we already own!

Furthermore, I do not want to end up with some ugly picture frame or vase that I hate and can't return but I didn't have anything on my registry and Aunt Sylvia refuses to gift money.

So thanks for your opinion, but no thanks.

Amy

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The funny thing is, we registered for the same reason, FH's mom convinced us to register before our engagement party because otherwise we would get gifts we don't want (ie picture frames), so we did, and we STILL got about a million picture frames!!!! Don't get me wrong we got a lot of amazing gifts from our registry but we also got a lot of gifts that we didn't register for. So I feel like no matter what you do, you can't stop people from getting you what they think you should have.

It's your registry, so you should do what you want with it! If you want to return the items, then feel free!!!! They are your items so do what you want with them! The only thing I would worry about is if the person will come over and look for their gift...

We returned a few things that we thought we wanted but decided that we didn't need.

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Posted by JLWSJC



but I still agree that it's rude to register and return. That's a sneaky way of dictatiing what people give you and I can see why your dad would say something. If people don't want to give you cash, that's too bad.

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but isn't registering at all a way of dictating what people give you????? That's why some people think it's weird to register at all.

We didn't do a honeymoon registry directly at a travel agency because my mom and stepfather were giving us timeshare points to use, so I didn't want the money tied up at a travel agency.

Re; dictating what people get you. I thought that's the whole point of a registry? So people know what to get instead of trying to figure it out themselves.

A lot of wedding websites and some people on LIW say it's bad etiquette not to have a registry, that people expect one and by not having it's like you are asking for cash wish is rude.

And personally, if I got someone a gift and they returned it, I wouldn't be upset. It's the thought of buying the gift that is appreciated, not what I actually get.

Oh, and I don't know if I'm having a shower so I can't really answer that.