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This is a difficult question to answer because I have been a BM and now I am the bride. This is my thoughts, you should be able to do what you want, its your day. If It was me, I would give my BM's a couple of options of what I wanted to do and tell them ...this is what I really want. Even if you say something like...this is my #1 choice and so on.

You have a point in saying that your friends signed on to be in the BP. They really shouldnt be complaining to you about $$ in my opinion. You are spending a lot of $$ for this wedding.

If they plan in advance, they can save up the $$ by putting a little away each week. Its sad that even your MOH is saying she cant afford things. She is the one that should be doing all the planning etc.

I dont think you should settle for something you dont want but maybe there is some way you could compromise on a cheaper trip...or shop around for really good flights.
HTH and Im sorry because this must be irritating for you

I dont think you are being selfish at all....I told my 2 girls this is what I wanted and I only have 2 so they are footing the cost of my trip between them and they understand that I am saving money on picking a cheap dress, no DOJ, any strappy silver shoe and I am paying for the shower and their hair and makeup.

I would tell them you want to go to vegas and see who else wants to join if not all of them can go with the ones that can.

I dont think you are selfish for wanting an away Bach party, but I think that if people cant make it bc of finances you have to understand.

To be honest I made a rule when my first college friend got married and had her bach in Jamaica...I told all my friends that I wasnt doing a destination bach party (anywhere I had to fly...AC, mohegan etc are doable) bc bw cousins, college friends, home friends I felt that if I went to one then I could never say no to another...like choosing one friend over another. This is just a personal choice I made.

But I think that it is perfectly reasonable to want to go to Vegas a lot of girls do. If none of your BMs can go then maybe AC would be a good way to go bc that way you can still do the whole 'away' thing.

I think you should be able to do what you want bc others will want to do it when it is there turn, if they cannot come than mb do something local but whoever can go to Vegas should go :)

Please don't take offense to this because it is just my opinion and everyone feels differently about things like this. I feel like a bachelor/ette party is a one night thing, I feel like in the past couple of years people have been making it into a trip or a weekend getaway and it has gotten popular to do so and if that's what people want then that's their option. I know that you said it would only cost about $400 pp but you still have to figure in food and other expenses as well so it will cost more than that and I do feel like it is a lot to ask. Figure between $600 and $800 or so for the trip, $200 for the dress, a couple hundred for the shower, another couple hundred for a wedding gift and over night accomodations if necessary, it adds up. I know that everyone says that the bridal party knew what they were getting into when they accepted but they probably didn't figure in a trip to Vegas. Not only is the expense a lot but people also have their own lives and can't necessarily take time to go away for this. As far as your friends that are already going on vacation with their bf's those are trips that I'm sure they really want to take, not a trip that they feel obligated to take. Like I said, this is only my opinion but I know a lot of other girls feel the same way. If it is something that you truly cannot live without doing then I would give the girls the option of going or not going, Especially with the economy and all. Good luck with everything and I hope you enjoy yourself no matter what you do