I don't know. I hardly ever see my BM's either, we keep in touch obviously, but I wouldn't think of kicking them out unless they did something really bad of went completely ***. I don't really see her doing anything that bad except for maybe being busy?
Jna2010
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Re: BM problem...long sorry
Posted by Iluvpoodles
I don't know. I hardly ever see my BM's either, we keep in touch obviously, but I wouldn't think of kicking them out unless they did something really bad of went completely ***. I don't really see her doing anything that bad except for maybe being busy?
i agree... i dont think youre friendship would last at all if you kick her out since she really didnt do anything, shes just busy.
JAAMS
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Re: BM problem...long sorry
Posted by Jna2010
Posted by Iluvpoodles
I don't know. I hardly ever see my BM's either, we keep in touch obviously, but I wouldn't think of kicking them out unless they did something really bad of went completely ***. I don't really see her doing anything that bad except for maybe being busy?
i agree... i dont think youre friendship would last at all if you kick her out since she really didnt do anything, shes just busy.
I mean we don't really talk though. Like we grew apart. I've seen her twice since July and maybe talked to her 5 times?
I don't expect my BMs to be at my beck and call or anything, but we really don't have a strong friendship at all anymore. I feel like it would be awkward to have her in the BP with all of my best friends.
vv117
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Re: BM problem...long sorry
I don't know if the situation is so dire that I would kick out a BM. maybe you can talk to her about whether it will be awkward for her to be a BM since her ex is a groomsmen. if she's cool with the sitch, i wouldn't kick her our. it's kind of like salt on her wounds.
es2189
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Re: BM problem...long sorry
i understand your desire not to have her be a bm...but even more i can see why she wouldn't want to be in the bp. if she and fh's bm just broke up, that could feel like it's gonna be super awkward (even though it's not for another year and things will probably be really different by then....it's hard to see that right after a breakup). also, it seems like you basically only know her through her ex, so that could be uncomfortable too.
JAAMS
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Re: BM problem...long sorry
Posted by es2189
i understand your desire not to have her be a bm...but even more i can see why she wouldn't want to be in the bp. if she and fh's bm just broke up, that could feel like it's gonna be super awkward (even though it's not for another year and things will probably be really different by then....it's hard to see that right after a breakup). also, it seems like you basically only know her through her ex, so that could be uncomfortable too.
they broke up in july, but since they broke up we've only seen eachother like 3X and talked like 4-5 times...basically texting to try to make plans, so it's just all sorts of awkward IMO
rdubs
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Re: BM problem...long sorry
I'd see what she is looking to talk to you about first...maybe she wants out or maybe she even wants to tell you that she wants to spend more time with you!
If she wants out, she may say its b/c she feels uncomfortable with her ex as the Best Man...if thats the case, thats fine.
Either way, I don't know if you should necessarily ask her to leave...I would probably be very sad if someone asked me to leave a BP even if we had grown apart....
Alyssa79
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Re: BM problem...long sorry
when i posted about a similar situation, everyone told me to kick the BM out. funny how things change
we are not close, i saw her 3-4 times this year, she's always busy, etc, etc, etc.
so now she's out and i feel no regret. she's still invited to the wedding but just not in the BP.
i say go for it Jen. you don't want to keep second guessing yourself, you want to be happy.
AwaitingAugust
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Re: deleted
well, congrats on getting your cake and eating it too
Im_My_Own_Princess
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Re: deleted
ok, do you WANT to kick her out or are you trying to make sure you dont cause any issues with the bestman... did that come out right? like if you want her out.. then ask her to step out.
FH wanted to ask my MOHs (then) fiance to be in the bridal party.. we didn't and I'm happy we didn't cause they have since broken up (gotten back together, broke up, got back together and once again broke up )
I know my MOH wouldn't feel comfortable with him in the BP if they weren't together.. but thats just given the situation we're/they're in... I don't know if its the same for you. I don't know if they ended on good terms or bad.
I think that if you want her in.. then dont say anything, unless she wants out. but if YOU want her out.. then tell her you just dont think that she should be in it, explain you have grown apart and it'll be awkward. but you still want her at the wedding.
