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My FH is going threw the same thing but its a little different...he hasnt seen him since he was 9 nor talked to him since then.


First off, you need to decide if you want to rekindle a relationship with him or not because if you dont then u dont have to worry about hurting his feelings

Your wedding is about you and your FH and if people have a problem with that or if you feel that he will take away from your day maybe he shouldnt be there

you dont want to have regrets on your wedding day

i have a strained relationship in my family too. My thoughts are to invite a guest to distract him from feeling left out, and also someone to keep his attention away from your mother.

I wish I could convince my mom to bring a guest so she wouldnt be so focused on fighting with my dad!

i think he may feel more comfortable if you invite him with a guest.
but beyond this I would say it is your day not his. You are trying to be gracious and involve him to a point that you are comfortable with. That's all you can do.

I have a similar situation with my father I am not having him walk me down the aisle or do a dance. I personally feel that these traditions are privileges not rights and in my situation my father has done little to earn them. So first and foremost I want you to know how much I respect you for making choices that make you happy and comfortable as I know from my experiences it is not easy.

Personally I would invite your father with a guest, i feel like from your post that you want to extend an olive branch to your father without making your wedding about a reunion. I think inviting with a guest does that and may make him more comfortable.

Its a really tough situation your in. There was a period of about 4 years where my dad and I didn't speak but eventually we, or I should say I gave in and accepted him back into my life and we now have a great relationship.

As far as making your feelings known, if you feel that you can't talk to him either in person or over the phone then just send him an email. I don't know if you have done this already or maybe you haven't made all your feelings known but I think you should in some way. I always feel that writing helps me to better explain myself anyways. Let him know how you felt about him jumping into daddy mode and how that made you uncomfortable and share with him your concerns. I'm not sure if you want a relationship with your dad but if you and he both want to start to form some type of relationship you def have time b4 the wedding in order to do so. If you do, then maybe by the time the wedding comes along things won't be so weird and or uncomfortable.

I think its nice of you to invite him, esp after not even knowing if you wanted him there in the 1st place. If it comes down to it, i'd say save yourself the stress and just let him bring a guest.

thank you ladies. Sometimes just knowing you're not alone is enough.

based on your feedack, I do intend to let him bring a guest, especially since he'll be there with his family, all of whom are married with kids.

I agree with these traditions being 'privileges' and not rights, which is why I don't feel comfortable letting him participate in them. I'm also not accepting any money from him throughout the planning process, because I don't want him to think he can buy his way back in.

okay, so I feel a little better now. Thank you!