Brides Helping Brides ™ - Depressed About BM Dresses...

BNBride60 Posted: Jul 22, 2007 07:26 PM

Depressed About BM Dresses...

I don't know if I just don't understand 'the rules' but I felt like some of my bridesmaids (particularly my MOH/sister) were unruly today. We went to look at dresses. I had said the color of the dresses was going to be light blue. Other than that I said they could literally pick whatever they wanted in any shade of light blue.

Well, we get there today, and all I hear about is how 'blue is not my color' and 'I want green' or 'I want pink' or 'I'll only wear blue if I can have a contrasting sash' etc, etc. I THOUGHT that the bride picks her own color scheme. Am I insane? I felt like two of them were really being so rude - I have been SO laid back - telling them all I want is for them to be happy and they have total control of their hair, makeup, shoes, and even the dresses OTHER than the color.

Am I wrong?!?!

waterspout4 Posted: Jul 22, 2007 07:36 PM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

You're not wrong. Just tell them light blue is the color. Tell them they are lucky you didn't pick rainbow bright dresses and deal. They need to shut-up. I HATE strapless dresses, but my best friend picked strapless for her wedding. I ****** it up because that's what she wanted. I didn't argue with her or try for something else.

BNBride60 Posted: Jul 22, 2007 07:40 PM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

Posted by waterspout4

You're not wrong. Just tell them light blue is the color. Tell them they are lucky you didn't pick rainbow bright dresses and deal. They need to shut-up. I HATE strapless dresses, but my best friend picked strapless for her wedding. I ****** it up because that's what she wanted. I didn't argue with her or try for something else.

LOL

Thank you for that, I really needed it....

also - they really ARE lucky I didn't pick Rainbow Bright, because that was my FAVORITE cartoon in the 80s and I guarantee you there are members of my family who would not have been shocked if I picked her exact friggin costume for all these girls. Then my FH could've had the groomsmen as Storm Troopers from Star Wars and we could've really seen how many complaints we could get!

waterspout4 Posted: Jul 22, 2007 07:43 PM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

Posted by Jess125483

Posted by waterspout4

You're not wrong. Just tell them light blue is the color. Tell them they are lucky you didn't pick rainbow bright dresses and deal. They need to shut-up. I HATE strapless dresses, but my best friend picked strapless for her wedding. I ****** it up because that's what she wanted. I didn't argue with her or try for something else.

LOL

Thank you for that, I really needed it....

also - they really ARE lucky I didn't pick Rainbow Bright, because that was my FAVORITE cartoon in the 80s and I guarantee you there are members of my family who would not have been shocked if I picked her exact friggin costume for all these girls. Then my FH could've had the groomsmen as Storm Troopers from Star Wars and we could've really seen how many complaints we could get!

DH was thinking about the storm troopers himself. Our intro at the reception was the Imperial March. (That instrumental that plays when Darth Vadar enters a room.)

Pencils Posted: Jul 22, 2007 07:49 PM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

No, they're being ridiculous. When you agree to be a bridesmaid, basically you're agreeing to wear the dress the bride has picked out. Letting the bridal party pick out their own dresses in your color is very considerate, I think. They're being rude and bratty and they obviously think they can get you to change your mind. Put your foot down. Tell them that other things have already been bought and planned to go along with light blue, if you have to. But don't let them change your mind.

This is good practice for you. If your wedding planning is anything like mine, lots of people are going to try to get you to change your mind about wedding details to what they like or to what they think is appropriate. Except for your FH, you don't have to listen to them. (Unless they're making a good point, which does happen.) You need to stand your ground, or you're not going to have the wedding you want. And it's your wedding, not your mom's, FMiL's, sister's, friend's, etc. Start practicing 'No, this is the way I want it, and this is how it will be.'

Good luck!

BTW, I love blue. Blue was one of my wedding colors, too--mostly navy, but I had some lighter blues as accents.

beautyq115 Posted: Jul 22, 2007 07:51 PM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

It is YOUR DAY....NOT their day!

When my mom got married she wanted this dress for her BM...ivory dress with a rust colored jacket. Well her stupid cousin said no one will know who the bride is My mother ended up listening to this stupid girl and getting the dress in blue (her least favorite color)...My mother still talks about it to this day...31 years later...Moral of the story...Do what makes you happy!

dancerandchef Posted: Jul 22, 2007 08:06 PM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

What I have learned about planning 'Our Wedding' is that you need to put your foot down when needed. The color is light blue. That is what is.

We had situations with FH's SIL. We would like a beautiful wedding which will most likely happen. If we had to do this all over again we would have eloped due one on going situation.

The dresses will work out. That is your theme and they are your BM's. They will be there for you on your special day.
~dancer and chef~

camerakrazie Posted: Jul 22, 2007 08:47 PM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

picking a bm dress was definitely a hard thing for me during my planning process.
it took me months and we ended up ordering the dresses about 5 months before the wedding.

I had 8 bm and they are all different in everyway. I decided to pick the color and the dress...it was my wedding and i wanted to pick out what i loved.

so no you have every right to pick out what you want for them to wear. b/c it is your wedding day.

you can ask for input but seriously that will just make you even crazier.

don't worry about what they will say about the dress and color that you pick...its YOUR WEDDING.!!!!!

good luck!!!! and enjoy the planning!!!

luna bride x Posted: Jul 23, 2007 12:28 AM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

ugh i totally feel your pain. i haven't even formally asked my girls to be my bridesmaids yet and when i tell them my colors they're like I MAY NOT LIKE IT

its like bla bla bla.. they're gonna give you crap regardless of what you pick lol

daniebc16 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 12:38 AM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

tell them to suck it up and do what you say...case closed.

Sue and Danny Posted: Jul 23, 2007 01:00 AM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

i agree with everyone ..its your day and you should be able to make choices and your bridesmaids should be there to support your choices

nifheim Posted: Jul 23, 2007 09:17 AM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

I gave the girl two color combos blk dress green sash/ribbon or the opposite. I had nightmares about it for months and then (i only have two bm) we went shopping on friday showed them the color combo's they picked blk with green sash then 10 mins later the dresses were picked out. I am lucky!

Put your foot down to all bm's and say this is the color and go to a dress shop and pick the color off the swatch. Tell them then to pick their dress out since it sounds like they can have any type of dress and tell them its in that color. No iffs and's or but's

danibrwneyes Posted: Jul 23, 2007 09:24 AM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

You are not wrong, you are actually being a really nice bride! I did the same thing except my color scheme was espresso brown. They could choose whatever dress they like! They are being the maidzillas. They kinda have to remember that it is about you not them!!!

melissankurt07 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 09:25 AM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

I feel your pain too!!! It is our right as a bride to pick our colors. Most of us pick the dresses too so in your case you are being very generous. I am having a fall wedding so I knew right off the bat that I wanted cinnamon colored dresses. Well most of my BM were fine with it but the one... when she saw the color was like OHHHHHH..... WHY DON'T YOU GO WITH LATTE? I was like NO... I want cinnamon and that is what we are getting. She also didn't really like the dress either. Believe me she kept trying to get me to change it until one of my other BM said...'Don't let anyone tell you to change colors because that is what happened with me and I gave in and I regret it to this day'. She was actually talking about my BM that was trying to get me to change because they are cousins of my FH and she was in her wedding too and complained about the color and dress and she changed it just for her. Just put your foot down and tell them... LIGHT BLUE... you pick the style. Good Luck!!!!

Ann 52409 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 09:59 AM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

You are not wrong its your wedding and they should wear the dress no matter what color and even if it's ugly. i am going to look at BM dresses by myself and then give them the choices

LoveRocks Posted: Jul 23, 2007 10:43 AM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

You are not wrong! Pick whatever dress you want and if they want to be in your BP, they will wear it.

LeeLee111 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 01:30 PM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

dont listen to them ,pick out what you want.

JennysMOH Posted: Jul 23, 2007 01:52 PM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

If you want light blue then light blue it is. No ifs ands or buts about it. It's your day and you make the rules.

Mooshyboo Posted: Jul 23, 2007 02:02 PM

Re: Depressed About BM Dresses...

Hi I was the same way & I was giving my girls full reigh... my suggestion is to find the manufacturer that makes the blue you love and then go from there... then decide if you want short or long & then let them pick the dresses because if you give them too much it is going to get CRAZZZY! and it makes it even tougher to say no...

As for the color think I would just ignore it ~ pick the color you want I am sure they will get over it!