DH and I Went to See His Mother in Conneticuit Last Night!! IT WAS VERY SAD!!

Apr 08, 2005 12:31 PM

Sadly, last night was the first time I met my mother-in-law and probably the last time. She was unconcious from the morphine drip she is on, so she didn't really even know we were there. It was really hard. We got there and DH looked at his mother, after not seeing her for 15 years and I could see the tears and pain in his face. There was so much he wanted to ask her about the past but was unable to at this point. But with everything that went on 15 years ago, the things she said and did to hurt him, I made sure to point out to him, while we were in her house, how much she really did love him. The house was covered in pictures of her three children, their baby pictures were framed and right in the ceter of her dresser, she had little ceramic kittens her kids painted for her when they were young up on a shelf in the living room. I made sure to make him understand that she loved him and that somehow, because of her illness and stupid husband she could not contact him. But we did find a lot of stuff out last night. She knew we were married, she always knew where he was. She always was checking to make sure her children were ok. It really was sad. The only question my DH and his sisters could ask the husband was WHY?? Why he waited so long to find them. The truth is, it is because of her husband that she did not contact her children. She was a sick and vulnerable woman and he took advantage of that. Thankfully he loved my husbands mother very much, but he denied her and her children a relationship and that kills me. To know that she wanted to see them and looked them up and her husband denied her the chance to contact them really hurts. There is a lot of hurt, that will not go away any time soon for any of them. Thankfully the husband has told DH and his sisters that there are a lot of things that he knows they will want of their mothers that he will definitely give them when the time comes. He also mentioned that her children are in her will, which he will go over with them. It was so so sad. I really am upset that I did not push my DH sooner to contact her. I asked him two years ago and he wouldn't talk to me about it. I now really wish I had pushed him. He asked the husband why he didn't contact them two years ago when his mother got sick, and all he kept saying was she could have been at my wedding. I know that will always bother him that she was not there. The husband also kept saying that he would like to keep in touch with the kids after his mom passes. I thought that was so DUMB of him to say and I really don't understand it. He would not let their mother have contact with them all these years , but now that she is gone, he wants to keep in contact with them. It really is a sad situation. We are most likely going to go back today, to try and see her while she is awake, so she can see my husband. I just feel awful because its so late and her children will never have questions answered. Sorry this is so long, it feels good to get it out though and DH isn't much into talking about it right now. Thank you!! And please say a prayer for his mom. She is at the end, and it is only a matter of time now.