Did anyone read this article in Parenting mag?

I got the newest Parenting magazine the other day and I am being haunted by an article. It starts off saying something like Children are the light of our lives but they can bring out our dark side. The woman has a 2 1/2 year old who rips up some of her favorite board books and the mother was angry but instead of yelling at the child (not that she should) she gave her silence and coldness and how the baby's reaction changed to nervous to scared to fearful - all by the coldness. She goes on to catch what she was doing and was discussing what was going on for her but.....it really has been bugging me. As the parent of an 8 1/2 month old, I'd hope I'd never be angry at him a day in his life but I know that's not a reality. I'd love to learn how to teach him a lesson - but not instill fear. I want to give him the world - yet not raise a spoiled child. I want to teach him to respect others - but not at the expense of his own self respect. I dont want him to be bullied - but I dont want him to be a bully either. Most of all, I want to give him love and not put any of my own 'issues' on him. It's so scary sometimes....and I guess that why this article bothered me, because her child was bringing out her own issues. Diapering them, washing their clothes and making sure they eat healthy is actually the easy part. I'm not saying anything here that I dont already know (and probably we all know) but this article stirred up Mommy fears.

Thanks for listening.

Liz I totally understand everything you said. Sometimes, the best we can do is say, 'Paul/Luke, Mommy loves you very much, but I really do not like what you just did. It is not right to rip up your books.'
or
'Paul/Luke, you are good boy, but it was very wrong to turn the potted plant over on the rug.'

I think by reinforcing that we love them, but sometimes we don't like their actions, they will learn the difference between Mommy is mad at ME or Mommy is mad at WHAT I DID.

Is the article available online? I'd like to read it.

I know I can't stand the silent treatment, I hate it!!!! I can only imagine what that must be like for a small child, and by it's mother no less! That is horrible

Yes it was horrible to read b/c I'd never want to see that look of fear of me on Luke's face. But it was definitely a thought-provoking article. We are all going to feel angry at our children at one time or another, maybe not at 3 months (or maybe yes) or 9 months but certainly in the terrible 2's and the teen years and probably lots of times in between. So it was really about how we handle things as a parent, especially anger. It was about how she didnt have to hit her child to elicit fear and how damage can be done in more 'painless' ways. I've seen people I know take their child's misbehavior or defiance as a 'challenge' without even realizing it. I know I'm not going to be the perfect Mother, none of us will, but I hope I will always be in touch with the impact of my behavior on my child.

Claud, I looked on the website and I dont see it on there. If I scan it, I will email it to you.