Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Original post by jovigirl414

Aug 02, 2011 07:33 AM

I got an email last night from a family member, canceling their RSVP. This woman had a minor tiff with my mother a few weeks ago, and we pretty much called that this was going to happen. Here is the email:

Hi Nicole...i had to write you cos I am deeply saddened that we cannot make your wedding. I had planned on it but so far Santos car needed repair, Steven, who has never asked me for money since I'm here needed money to pay the rent and now my ac is broke and thats another $350. The wedding is also on Friday so Santo would have to take the day off and lose a days pay and right now we just cant afford it. I am still only working part time. He doesnt even have a sports jacket so his outfil would cost at least $200 and then shoes, tie, etc. and I need an outfit and shoes, gas. It would cost at least $600 to come and thats not even with the gift. I feel so bad that I am going to miss the best day of your life but I just can't afford it right now. I wish you all the best and much happiness. Please send me your address so that I can send you a little something. So sorry....Love Aunt Linda

I responded with this:

Omg, please tell me you are joking, I already paid for your plates! I've been working two jobs all year so we can save every penny for this wedding, yes, the biggest day of our lives. I don't care that Santo won't be wearing a jacket - its late August, too hot for one anyway. Brian has about 30 ties, we can leave one at your table for him to throw on, if that is a deciding factor. It's a late wedding - Santo would only have to take a half day, at most. Not to mention, I could care less about a wedding gift, I think you already know that. The real gift to me would be my FAMILY celebrating with me. I understood you missing the engagement party, as well as my father's wake because you were living in Florida at the time. I even got over you missing the shower because Santo couldnt take you out for your birthday on Saturday instead of Sunday. But now you are telling me you won't make it to the wedding, a month after you already RSVP'd yes? I'm sorry, that hurts a little too much. There was plenty of time to figure out if travel expenses were feasible, I can't help but feel like you just don't want to come for some underlying reason. I would expect stuff like this from my father's side of the family, not my mothers.

Was it too much? Or should I be proud?

cait625 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:05 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Good for you! You're right!

Ellynrose Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:06 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Nikki - You are my hero!!!

I think you should be so proud of yourself. You stood up for yourself, and told your Aunt exactly how you felt.

Unfortunately, no matter what you said wouldn't be changing her mind....

I'm in a similar situation... except it's my grandparents.... le sigh.

ColliMac23 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:08 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by jovigirl414

Thanks for the backup, girls!

I agree that, you never know what is really going on, but she just had wayy too many excuses. You can't tell me that they never had any dress clothes - a 50+ year old man with not one single tie? Cmon ... and an AC will not cost $350 - she can get a cheapie one to get her through the next month for like $100 - that's what I did! It was just excuse after excuse.

I totally agree! You know when someone's lying but for me I would have just never answered her and kept walking. She knows she is wrong why point it out?

Saying nothing says everything, it's like a big ef you in the end

rosatemp Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:10 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by jovigirl414

Posted by rosatemp

has she responded to yours yet?

Yea, all she wrote back was 'I'm really sorry you feel that way, if I thought I could be there, I would'

hmm that dont sound so sincere...i really am sorry..dont stress it...your wedding will be beautiful with or without her

rosatemp Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:10 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by Ellynrose

Nikki - You are my hero!!!

I think you should be so proud of yourself. You stood up for yourself, and told your Aunt exactly how you felt.

Unfortunately, no matter what you said wouldn't be changing her mind....
.

ITA

jovigirl414 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:14 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by ColliMac23

Saying nothing says everything, it's like a big ef you in the end

Believe me, I was gonna try to take the 'silence is deafening' route, I just couldn't hold it in this time ...

ColliMac23 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:23 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by jovigirl414

Posted by ColliMac23

Saying nothing says everything, it's like a big ef you in the end

Believe me, I was gonna try to take the 'silence is deafening' route, I just couldn't hold it in this time ...

Well you said what you needed to say and for that I am proud of you

itbroi805 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:24 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by JTG4EVER

I say...good for you!!!! There are so many things I want to say to people and never do. I'm proud of you. You are my inspiration. You said how you feel and you are right. She had a long time to save for all this. And if there is an underlying reason, then man up and tell you about it. I think you did good and you called her out. Keep us posted on what happens!

this!! you go girl!

jovigirl414 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:25 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by ColliMac23

Posted by jovigirl414

Posted by ColliMac23

Saying nothing says everything, it's like a big ef you in the end

Believe me, I was gonna try to take the 'silence is deafening' route, I just couldn't hold it in this time ...

Well you said what you needed to say and for that I am proud of you

FH was trying to 'hold me back' from my computer too, lol ... he said the same exact thing as you!

ColliMac23 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:26 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by jovigirl414

Posted by ColliMac23

Posted by jovigirl414

Posted by ColliMac23

Saying nothing says everything, it's like a big ef you in the end

Believe me, I was gonna try to take the 'silence is deafening' route, I just couldn't hold it in this time ...

Well you said what you needed to say and for that I am proud of you

FH was trying to 'hold me back' from my computer too, lol ... he said the same exact thing as you!

I use to be like a tornado LOL Since I met DH he is so laid back and honestly it causes me less headaches there is no he said she said bs and honestly people like that aren't worth my time!

SoonToBeMrsFox Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:27 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

good for you!

Nrauch8191 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:28 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

You couldn't have said it any better....

JTG4EVER Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:28 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by pjc92980

good for you!!!!
sorry you are dealing with this....
we have had 5 cancellations in the past week

oh geez! me too!! ahhhh

jovigirl414 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 10:59 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by Ellynrose

Nikki - You are my hero!!!

I think you should be so proud of yourself. You stood up for yourself, and told your Aunt exactly how you felt.

Do I get a cape???

jovigirl414 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 11:01 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by ColliMac23

I use to be like a tornado LOL Since I met DH he is so laid back and honestly it causes me less headaches there is no he said she said bs and honestly people like that aren't worth my time!

Yep, I'm like a tornado too ... Good word for it, btw!! It's one of FH's biggest pet peeves about me too.

Ellynrose Posted: Aug 02, 2011 11:04 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by jovigirl414

Posted by Ellynrose

Nikki - You are my hero!!!

I think you should be so proud of yourself. You stood up for yourself, and told your Aunt exactly how you felt.

Do I get a cape???

A cape, a drink, whatever my love!

rosatemp Posted: Aug 02, 2011 11:04 AM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

Posted by jovigirl414

Posted by ColliMac23

I use to be like a tornado LOL Since I met DH he is so laid back and honestly it causes me less headaches there is no he said she said bs and honestly people like that aren't worth my time!

Yep, I'm like a tornado too ... Good word for it, btw!! It's one of FH's biggest pet peeves about me too.

mine too he gets so mad at me and says im a hot head...hes mellow me now so much lol

Moonmist09 Posted: Aug 02, 2011 12:37 PM

Re: Did I take this too far? (this one is a bit lengthy)

so proud of you! sometime i wish i could say things to people and i always hold back and i'm glad that you didn't so that and really told her how you felt.
the fact that she came back with that lame response says it all