Some girls I know are close to giving their bfs an ultimatum of getting engaged or walking.
i'm wondering if this tactic works...
SeptBride70
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
well, i don't know if that works-- from my experience and what i've seen with friends-- it usually ends in disaster-- like the guy leaving the girl and they break up...
but with my FH, omg not at all lol... infact, sometimes FH was afraid HE was moving to fast for ME! for me, i would never want to have to 'talk someone into' marrying me or make them feel like they have to do something or else. i wanted my FH to WANT to propose on his own-- and he did so it worked out. if i was with someone who didn't do that then obviously he is not the one for me and there is someone who wants to out there.. so i would have, and did in the past, just kept looking.
cindyandkevin
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
It might work, but I don't think it's right. He may come through with a ring but it might also lead to resentment later on so I wouldn't recommend it.
To answer your question, and as you can prob already tell, no I didn't pressure DH for a ring. In fact, he's the one who first brought up the 'M' word and surprised me with a ring!!
neener1211
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
marriage is a HUGE committment....and if you have to ultimatum a guy or girl into marriage...then that is not the best way to start off a life long journey together. It should be something that both parties WANT to do.
Soon2BeMrs2006
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
Posted by cindyandkevin
It might work, but I don't think it's right. He may come through with a ring but it might also lead to resentment later on so I wouldn't recommend it.
To answer your question, and as you can prob already tell, no I didn't pressure DH for a ring. In fact, he's the one who first brought up the 'M' word and surprised me with a ring!!
I agree I think thts nuts no one should feel/be forced into proposing if they are or feel that they are/were then they weren't 100percent ready to. This can lead to future resentment doubts, etc.
My FH told me the first year we were dating he was going to spend the rest of his life with me, and he proposed 3 years later and it was perfect.
FallBride05
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
Not at all!! In fact my proposal was such a surprise. I was certain it was going to happen months after it did.
patticakes
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
Posted by FallBride05
Not at all!! In fact my proposal was such a surprise. I was certain it was going to happen months after it did.
Me too! The only thing I did know was about the ring because he asked that we pick it out together....
FDWedding07
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
I had no idea we never really even spoke about it. I was soooo suprised. No pressure here.
ali120206
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
I didn't give him an ultimatum but, I did voice my desire to be engaged. It seemed everyone around us was getting engaged and I was ready. I guess it was more of a when are we getting engaged?
kathrynlinton
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
Mine was very much a surprise. We had discussed being together and spending the rest of our lives together, but I didn't expect him to propose when he did.
My cousin just did this. She feels like she doesn't want to 'just live with someone' and wants her bf to propose (she was very badly hurt by someone she dated for a very long time)
SIL also gave BIL and ultimatitum 'My little brother is NOT getting married before me!' He proposed and then she got pregnant!! Needless to say, they beat me and DH down the aisle!
rachel212
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
No way. I always wanted to know that this is what the man I spend the rest of my life with wanted, enough to do it himslef.
eden
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
Posted by Bridex100
Some girls I know are close to giving their bfs an ultimatum of getting engaged or walking.
i'm wondering if this tactic works...
I think subtle hints work alot better. :) FH and I dated for 3 years and he finally proposed when he was 35 and I was 32. His younger sister and brother are both married with kids already. My siblings were all married as well... I think the FH finally caved 'cus of subtle hints from everyone was sending his way...
AS for girls who really wanna get married and want to give an ultimatum. I know of a friend who left a girl after she gave him her timeline/deadline. He loves her but wanted to do things on his own time... It's harsh but unless he really loves you and cant live w/o you, this tactic won't work.
Better strategy which I know other girls have used is just to go away for an extended vacatio w/o him. He'll probably start missing you, and when he does, he'll use the time to shop for that wedding ring. :D
stephanief
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
They are doomed....you should not have to 'force' your BF to buy you a ring, that is silly
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
We did talk about engagement, and when we were both finally ready we went to look for rings together. I was ready before he was and did tell him I wanted to get married eventually. When he proposed though, he made it a point to say that even though I went looking for rings with him, he really really wanted this too.
Brassgirl9
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
Well men can be a little different than women, and maybe sometimes they need that little push to do it. But if two people are at different places then maybe it's time to move on. I didn't have to push my FH at all.
Tiggeruth
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
Posted by patticakes
Posted by FallBride05
Not at all!! In fact my proposal was such a surprise. I was certain it was going to happen months after it did.
Me too! The only thing I did know was about the ring because he asked that we pick it out together....
I was totally surprised, the only thing I knew was that he was looking at rings because he asked me some quesitons but he said it would still be a while and I believed him. It ended up being 1 week after we talked about I was completely shocked.
iBCraZ131
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
I agree with everyone else - I think it is silly to have to pressure someone into marrying you. My friend kind of did this and they got engaged after 5 months and my cousin just recently did the same thing because she was jealous of me!! I'm still waiting to see how they turn out. However, in my case I waited 7 1/2 years for a ring - no pressure there!!
bluesashbride
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
No, and I have only witnessed one case where it worked. But it is yet to be if it really worked for the long run (they JUST got married).. time will tell. But in every other case the pressure led to resentment and break-ups.
klingklang77
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
nope. we werent going to get married until next year, but when we realised that we either had to break up and move away from each other (immigration reasons), we decided it wouldnt hurt us if we got married a year earlier. by pushing the date up one year, we had to forgo some things financially (like a longer HM or bigger ).
citycrab705
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Re: Did you have to 'pressure' FH for a ring?
i didn't pressure fh to propose however i told him this was were it needed to be going, we were dating for 3 yrs and are both in our 30's he was actually pressuring me to move in with him and i told him i would but then we need to be getting engaged soon, so i moved in and 4 months later he proposed, we had discussed marriage before that, i just think he needed a little push.
