Went dress shopping on vacation this week and saw the BM dress that I LOVE (http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/D416/) in a store and lucky me i was with my MOH and her sister (another BM). The colors were the opposite of what i want (I want a Midnight dress with Ivory accents not the other way around which is how the dress was in the store and in all the ads). So my girls tried it on and I could tell my MOH didn't love it. she then said she liked another dress in the same line better, tried it on and it looked good but it didn't have the same look that i wanted with semi-sash that tied in a bow in the back. (http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/D420/). and i hate the tie in the front and would tie it in the back.
Now, my MOH got married like 2 and a half months ago, I was her MOH and hers was almost entirely DIY (dress included). Her and I will have very very different weddings which is fine and understandable. But at the same time i feel like its a little strange for me to say i LOVE this dress, and how excited i am to see it (by chance!) with them both and have her tell me she likes something else better. And shes been disappointing (like saying how much she wants to go dress shopping but never actually taking the time off to go to the stores with us no matter how many different appointments I make and making comments when she thinks i'm spending too much telling me its all a matter of 'style') when it comes to all my wedding stuff. But she is my best friend, has been since we were 14 and I know how she is but i expected more.
So my question is - do I have her wear the dress she likes even though i love the other dress (and so does her sister, FH's sister and mom)? are any of you girls having your MOH wear a completely different dress than the rest of the girls (as in not just the full length version of the dress the rest of the BMs are wearing? I'm just not sure how I feel about it. on the one hand I want her to be happy and I'm not sure really what difference it makes but on the other, I'm really disappointed she doesn't like it and made that clear.
sorry i needed to vent...anything you girls could offer I'd really appreciate....i posted pics in my album of the girls in the dresses.
KrisD72310
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
Well obviously you want your MOH to like what she's wearing, but it is YOUR wedding. You're the one who will have the pictures to look back on. I say pick the dress you love. In terms of her wearing something different some people do and some don't. When I was MOH at my sister's wedding I wore the same dress as all the other girls. You could even just do a bigger bouquet for her.
MrsC2010
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
i have my moh wearing the same dress in reverse colors
if there is a different dress your moh wants to wear that is similar to the bm dresses and will go together well, i think it would look pretty. HOWEVER, don't let her pressure you into getting her own dress. If you really want her to wear the same dress as the other girls, she should be supportive that it is your day and wear the dress...she agreed to be in the wedding so i feel like if you really want a certain dress she should just suck it up and do it.
MarjorieFrank
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
It's not uncommon for an MOH to wear a different dress. This will make her stand out and purposely appear different from everyone.
With that being said, if this is something you are uncomfortable with then you need to make that decision. Don't let her tell you what she wants to wear. Ultimately, it's your decision.
tree9
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
thats exactly how i feel - like since she took us to the store and had us try on and be part of the decision making now she wants to do the same for my wedding. but when i saw this dress i just loved it. and i want her to be happy and stand out (i intend on getting her a bigger more special boK) but im not sure how i feel about a totally different dress. Mom likes the one she likes better (which is not surprising) which also does not help...
i guess no one said wedding planning was easy!
MikesBride2B
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
My MOH is wearing a completely different dress than my other girls...my BMs are wearing full length strapless chiffon and she is wearing a short sleeveless chiffon dress.
I wanted everyone to feel beautiful and comfortable and she would not have felt comfortable in a strapless dress since she is...well endowed in the chest area. :-P
my MOH didn't like the dress I picked for everyone else so she got a different dress - that looks great on her and I like it also
M_Berk-Glenn
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
My MOHs dresses r the same as the BM but its a different color
JAAMS
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
my MOHs are going to wear the reverse colors of my BMs
tree9
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
I can't do the reverse colors with what i picked (navy with ivory) or else my MOH would be dressed in Ivory and i'm not ok with that at all.
It seems like the MOH wearing something different isn't so strange, i guess i didn't expect her to be so obvious with wanting to wear something different and more because of her own taste and nothing else. they are both strapless, same fabric, same colors just a different style. theres no comfort issues its just what she likes and i feel like thats not the point of being my MOH.
stinenandy2010
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
I've been to many weddings where the MOH wears something slightly different. In my case, the top part is lace with an underlay, the bm's have ivory underneath but my moh has deep red.
I think you should get what you want though, your the bride and you should be happy.
Jna2010
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
im thinking of having my MOH wear a different dress, i would do what you want, i mean as long as she doesnt hate the dress you picked out than i think thats fair, i mean im sure you want her opinion but its about compromise and the bride does kind of have the upper hand in the final decision. she's rpobably never going to wear the dress again, its your wedding and your pictures that youll have to look at for the rest of your life, she seems to like the one you picked out (maybe not as much as the one she saw) but its your wedding! do what makes you happy!
christine2010
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
I have my MOH wearing opposite colors as the other girls. (pics in album, if you want to see).
I had a similar situation when I got all the girls together to try on the dress. my mom & sister (MOH) picked out a dress that i completely loved. I e-mailed the bridesmaids a picture of it & they loved it too. However the day we got together to try it on, they all found other dresses that they liked even more. I was so upset because I really loved the dress & it went with my vision. After going home & crying, I decided that this is my wedding. I will have pictures from this day in my home for the rest of my life. In the past I have worn dresses that I didn't like because thats what the bride picked.
So ultimately it is your decision. Unless someone doesn't look good in the dress they should wear what you have picked out.
tree9
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
Thanks everyone! I felt momentarily bad because she took us to the store and basically said what do you like and we tried stuff on and picked the dress together. But she also got married on ground covered in goose poop and grass, within 15 feet of a petting zoo with port-o-potties and we all went with it because its what she wanted. so i definitely needed to hear the its my wedding stuff
i want her to be happy too but she's liek 5'4 super skinny and everything looks good on her. so i'm making the decision, not her. thanks ladies!!!!!! i knew i could count on you!!!
mzmahagony
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
My MOH is wearing a dif dress, she loves the BM dresses but she loves this one dress in particular better so I told her it's fine with me. It is the same material and designer as the BM dresses. My BMs are wearing the same dress but in dif shades of purple.
nikki471499
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
My MOH is wearing the same dress as my BM just a diffrent color my bridesmaid are wearing Lilac with Lavender sash and my MOH is wearing Lavender with Lilac Sash......I think it is totally up to you what you want them to wear your the bride and its your wedding not theres.....You cant please everyone....or you will drive yourself crazy.
Carolann
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
OH MY GOSH!! I thought I was the only one going through this . . .
I went dress shopping last month with my MOH, and my 2 other bridesmaids, and my mom and grandma and my flower girls (little sisters) . . . the main point was to show everyone my dress and to see if we could find something for them.
I found this gorgeous dress that looked amazing on everyone - my size 0 sister who is one of my bridesmaids and my size 12 MOH and size 12 bridesmaid . . .
anyway, MOH hated it. she liked some other one better, one with straps that made her look pregnant (I specifically said I wanted them to have strapless).
My other bridesmaid and my sister want me to be happy and get whatever dress I want but I wanted to include everyone but MOH is being a nightmare!
I don't want to be all bridezilla about it but I want to tell her to shut up and just wear the dress I want. She's been in her cousin's weddings before and I know she had no say in the dress . . . I just don't understand why shes being so difficult . . . she even slammed the changing room door!!
I want to tell her we decided to go with the one we all liked but I'm scared to . . . I know it's silly!
Anyway, sorry its so long!!
tree9
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
I feel exactly the same way! she was difficult and i couldn't believe how just obvious she was and the faces she made. it make me so upset.
and i found out she plans on being pregnant before my wedding. (not from her) don't you think you'd want the less form fitting dress? was she going to tell me before i deviated from my plan?
im so frustrated!!!
Carolann
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
yea . . . . she seemed so excited before hand also . . . I don't care she's wearing the same dress that my other girls are wearing. I'll wear whatever terrible looking dress she wants when she actually gets married . . . pregnant huh? i hope not too pregnant haha
tree9
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Re: Different dress for MOH?
Me too but who knows. She got marred 2 months ago, hasnt' finished school yet, is moving into a new house today and told me when she closed on the house (and FREAKED OUT!) that it was the last big life move for her before my wedding (specifically referring to having a baby). but she told another friend she planned on being pregnant in March (my wedding is in may) so who knows. I just will NOT be happy with her if I let her have a different dress to have her be happy and then she gets pregnant and looks awful. I think thats part of why i'm worried about letting her wear something different....
