i am totally ok with them not getting me a gift and just throwing me the shower. all the problems are just causing so much unneeded stress and aruguements its so hard to please everyone.i would love to have my shower at someones house where it could be cheaper but there are gonna be 40 guests and in next march so it will be too cold to be outside. $200 from each bridesmaid is the lowest we could go and my MOH is still paying more than the rest of them bc she didnt want to ask them for much more bc she felt bad.
AugustBridein09
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Re: Difficult Bridesmaids
Posted by dolores4321
that these 2 girls need to just stop the bs already and either pay or get out.
ITA
lovelee
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Re: Difficult Bridesmaids
As someone who has been a bridesmaid more times than I can possibly count, I thought my insight might be of help... I would definitely suggest talking with your bm about the money issues. It might have nothing to do with it being 'too expensive'... I was a bm once and the mother asked us all to pay for the catering... it was $70 pp and we were all happy to pay for it... but since we were paying for it we assumed we might have some say in what we would be ordering to eat... this was not the case! We were handing over money to the mom who was ordering stuff that most of us didnt even eat. we ****** it up because she was our good friend but we were NOT happy about paying and not having a say in what we were paying for! It might be more than just the actual price... is she feeling left out of something? ya never know... just something to think about! HTH!
AdriandSteve
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Re: Difficult Bridesmaids
First, what are there reasons for not wanting to contribute? Do they really not want to or are they unable to? BIG difference. Maybe make it clear to them that part of being a bridesmaid comes with certain financial obligations; helping out with the bridal shower, bachelorette party, paying for there dresses/shoes.
Liv123
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Re: Difficult Bridesmaids
Sounds like these two are only part of your wedding party because they were family of FH an you were co-erced into asking them.
That is terribly unfair - with the 14 year old, you were told one thing and then his CHEAP brother backs out ? its his BROTHER. Is it really worth all this ? Can't he just be generous since his brother is getting married ? the 38 year old is probably following the footsteps of the other family member.
Sorry to sound so harsh - but I think you are being very nice. There are a LOT of costs in being a bridesmaid so if they have a problem with this NOW, they will have others. I like your idea of letting them back out.
adelya21
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Re: Difficult Bridesmaids
I agree.
adelya21
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Re: Difficult Bridesmaids
ughh this *****. im so sorry. i also agree that each person should give the same amount. I dont think 200$ is alot at all. Tell them not to bother getting a gift! or get u one small gift from both if they want to give one.
Posted by elp6421
Wow. I am sorry you are going through all of this! I dont think $200 is unreasonable but I guess if they are already buying a gift ect. it could get a little expensive.
What if you had the shower some place else?? But I totally agree - each girls contribution should be the same!!!!!
poobaer523
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Re: Difficult Bridesmaids
going through exactly same thing here...my bridal party are arguing over finances too this is part of the responsiblities of being a bridesmaid even parts of the wedding they are all bickering about hair makeup that sort of stuff they are even saying i dont deserve a gift towards my shower bc they are putting enough money into it not that im being selfish or anything but damn i do a lot for these girls its my turn should be on the same foot
