Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

I am having a dilema, and do not know how to handle it tactfully. My best friend and MOH is a plus size, she found a dress she likes and it will not be flattering for her figure, and she also found a dress that is flattering for her figure. She is at a toss up and I am trying to persuade her to go with the style that is more flattering. She thinks they will both look good on her. The sales lady as well as myself were trying to tell her nicely, but she did not take the hint so to speak. What do I do. One is Jim Hjelm style#4035, and the other one is an Emme dress(5161 bottom and the top is a v neck, I do not remember the style # for the top but it is the website) which is cut for women sizes. She says that the store can add panels and make it larger for her, but I told her that it might be better if she was able to try on the sample, etc. What do I do??? HELP !!!!! PS I can totally understand where she is coming from becuase I just lost a lot of weight myself, 57 pounds, so I know it is not easy for her.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

If you are allowing you MOH to pick her own dress....then let her. If she feels that she looks good in one dress that you do not think he looks as good in, just bite your lip and let her be. You can try and convince her that you like the other dress better but if she wants dress one then that is what she should have.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

I think that saying, 'If you are indifferent, I prefer dress A' would do the job, although I do agree that if you told her she could pick you really should just let her pick.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

I'm assuming that you RAVED about how the one looked great on her? Can you just say that the one is 'more flattering', or that the one that doesn't look right, say it 'doesn't lay right' or jsut that as it's your wedding party, that you just like the other one better? It sounds like she has her heart set on the one that doesn't flatter her. Really, she is the one who has to wear it. If you like both dresses and don't have a preference, let her choose. It's more important for her to feel pretty which it sounds like she does.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

Can't you just tell her you like it better? You don't have to say why.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

I have to agree with Lisa Rose. If you're letting her pick, then let her pick...and bite your lip.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

I was not trying to be mean or anything, I just do not want her to look horrible and also to spend unnecessary money becuase if there are problems with the dress it is going to turn into my problem.
I have been the most laid back I can about the whole wedding and not at all a bridezilla, please do not take it this way. I do not want to start controversy, I was just trying to ask for some advice.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

I also have to agree with the other girls, if you are letting her pick her own dress, let her buy the one she feels most comfortable in - it will make for a happier bridesmaid. She just needs to make sure that they can actually add the panels and that it won't be a problem later on.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

Can you tell her that you like the one style much more than the other? Or that you like a certain color in the better style?

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

I would just be honest with her, tell her she looks better in the one dress. If she's more comfortable in the other dress, then I would just let her pick the one she wants. She's paying for it and she has to wear it.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

Egad,I hope I didn't come across crass in my response. I tend to type as little as possible which in turn makes it sound like I'm being short.

In any case...I still stand by what I said. But if you feel really strongly...then do as the others said: rave about the dress that you think she looks better in. Or just tell her how fabulous she looks in that one...and just 'ok' in the other. Don't worry - you need to be honest...it will be better in the long run.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

i would simply say you like one better than the other. plus-size or not, certain styles just look better on certain people - i look horrendous in empire-waists - that's just me. try not to make it a plus-size issue.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

I would tell her that you like the one dress on her but it is completely her decision.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

I would just tell her that she looks awesome in the dress you think flatters her and let her make the decision. What girl is not going to pick something her friend told her she looks awesome in??

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

There's no reason why you can't say to her that one dress looks better or you just like one better or that one is just more flattering. She's your best friend. I'm sure she wants your opinion. It doesn't have to be a weight issue. JMO

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

Can't you tell her that one style will go better with the style of YOUR wedding. Also, as the bride you don't want the headache of last minute problems. This is ultimately up to you.

I let me bridesmaids pick several dresses they liked based on price and style, then I picked which one I liked best and that I thought would be most appropriate for all 3 body shapes. I also let them tell me colors they hate so I could avoid them, but I had the ultimate say. I was able to make everyone happy-but only one got her absolute 1st choice.

Re: Dilema and delicate situation MOH related and dress related.....

Can you take a picture of her in both of the dresses? Sometimes I don't 'get' just how good or bad something looks until I see it in a photo. Maybe she'll realize that the one really isn't flattering if she sees a picture.