DILEMMA

Renee615 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 10:47 PM

DILEMMA

FH and I originally had a total of 10 people in our wedding party, 5 BMs and 5 GMs. As the wedding gets closer, I decided that I would really love to have my cousin included in the wedding party. He lived with us for years when he was growing up and he was kind of like an older brother to me. FH has no problem asking him to be one of his GM. Now here's the dilemma. I am kind of anal and don't know if I like the idea of having an uneven # of guys and girls in my BP. I was originally thinking that I could ask a friend of mine to be a BM so that we would have 6 and 6, but my girls just ordered their dresses last week and I'm concerned that a dress ordered solo might not completely match (They mentioned something about dye lot.) What do you ladies think I should do? Please give me your advice!!!

donegal419 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 10:50 PM

Re: DILEMMA

i say add your cousin... but dont' just add another BM to make it even. it's a lot of work and stress having BM's, i wouldnt' add someone just because they're needed to even things out. you should add the BM because you can't imagine your day without her... trust me....

MJDoc12 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 10:50 PM

Re: DILEMMA

i know symetry is important...but IMHO i think you should only ask ppl into your BP because you truly feel that they are important to you and want them to stand up there next to you, on one of the most important days of your life.

in 20 yrs., will you look at your wedding pics and say 'i'm so glad i asked so-and-so into our BP' or will you say 'geez, i don't even talk to that person anymore!'

everyone is different with their BP's, but because there are only a few ppl that important to us....our BP is uneven, and small...and i love it that way!

Future Mrs. Posted: Jan 23, 2007 10:51 PM

Re: DILEMMA

Honestly.....I think you are thinking too much about the superficial when you worry about the 6 vs. 5 thing. I think its fabulous, and appropriate and wonderful that you are asking such a close cousin to be in your wedding party....its such an honor.
I think that to just 'go and find' another bridesmaid, for the sake of having an even number is silly.
Its not supposed to be so 'even and perfect.'
I think that having the people you care most about and who care most about tyou is what is important. Not that there is an even number. I hate to sound harsh, but if you step back and think about what is really important, its who you ask, and honor to be in your wedding more than an even number for the sake of being even.
I have been to thousands of weddings.....I can't even remember one bridesmaid dress or how many were on each side of the party.

BlushingBride714 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 10:54 PM

Re: DILEMMA

We had a similar problem. I wanted my BP to be an even number also. Have you thought about having your cousin doing a reading at your wedding? In my opinion, that is just as special as being in the wedding party. You could have him wear a similar tux (or the same one) as the GM and give him a boutineer (sp?). He would still be an important part of your day.

Renee615 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 10:55 PM

Re: DILEMMA

I didn't mean to sound like I was just asking someone to be my BM for the sake of even-ness. To be honest, I kind of regret not asking her in the first place. I thought that maybe this may be a good time to fix that regret.

I understand what you all are saying about asking people who really mean something to you and I thank you for your honesty, but she is important to me. There were various reasons why I did not ask her in the first place. She was going through a tough time and I felt that it may be a burden on her. Things have gotten a lot better in the past few months.

Renee615 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 11:15 PM

Re: DILEMMA

What do you guys think about the dye lot?

Ericab1980 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 11:18 PM

Re: DILEMMA

I don't think there would be a big disparity between colors. What's the material?

BlushingBride714 Posted: Jan 23, 2007 11:20 PM

Re: DILEMMA

I would call the dress store that you purchased the dresses at first thing tomorrow. You said you ordered them last week, right? They may not have put the order in to the manufacturer yet. And even if they did, I doubt the manufacturer has cut the fabric yet. The dress store may be able to call the manufacturer and modify the order. You will have to get the new BM in to get measured ASAP.

eelharas4700 Posted: Jan 24, 2007 12:18 AM

Re: DILEMMA

they may match the dye lot, if you call asap.....since the order is close enough. its only a week not a month so they may have to put the order in still.

mskittynj Posted: Jan 24, 2007 06:42 AM

Re: DILEMMA

Add your cousin and the friend, don't worry about the dye lot I don't think it will be a huge deal, just make sure she orders her dress soon.
XOXOXO
Kitty

JassyandOscar Posted: Jan 24, 2007 06:59 AM

Re: DILEMMA

Posted by MJDoc12

i know symetry is important...but IMHO i think you should only ask ppl into your BP because you truly feel that they are important to you and want them to stand up there next to you, on one of the most important days of your life.

in 20 yrs., will you look at your wedding pics and say 'i'm so glad i asked so-and-so into our BP' or will you say 'geez, i don't even talk to that person anymore!'

everyone is different with their BP's, but because there are only a few ppl that important to us....our BP is uneven, and small...and i love it that way!

I agree!!

qtdimps23 Posted: Jan 24, 2007 07:38 AM

Re: DILEMMA

i went through the same thing. i had 7 and 7 and realized i screwed up when i did ask one of my oldest friends to be a BM (we slowly lost touch over the years). so i decided to ask her and now i have 8 and 7. im just going to have one guy walk with 2 girls. and when it comes time for the first dance, ill have one of the girls come up with her boyfriend and dance. i thought of just picking someone to even it out, but i thought if i looked at pictures 10 years from now...will i still know that person?

good luck!

Renee615 Posted: Jan 24, 2007 08:42 AM

Re: DILEMMA

Posted by qtdimps23

i went through the same thing. i had 7 and 7 and realized i screwed up when i did ask one of my oldest friends to be a BM (we slowly lost touch over the years). so i decided to ask her and now i have 8 and 7. im just going to have one guy walk with 2 girls. and when it comes time for the first dance, ill have one of the girls come up with her boyfriend and dance. i thought of just picking someone to even it out, but i thought if i looked at pictures 10 years from now...will i still know that person?

good luck!

I've seen two girls escorted by one guy, but do you guys think it's ok to have two guys escorting one girl?

ntunison Posted: Jan 24, 2007 09:05 AM

Re: DILEMMA

Posted by Renee615

FH and I originally had a total of 10 people in our wedding party, 5 BMs and 5 GMs. As the wedding gets closer, I decided that I would really love to have my cousin included in the wedding party. He lived with us for years when he was growing up and he was kind of like an older brother to me. FH has no problem asking him to be one of his GM. Now here's the dilemma. I am kind of anal and don't know if I like the idea of having an uneven # of guys and girls in my BP. I was originally thinking that I could ask a friend of mine to be a BM so that we would have 6 and 6, but my girls just ordered their dresses last week and I'm concerned that a dress ordered solo might not completely match (They mentioned something about dye lot.) What do you ladies think I should do? Please give me your advice!!!

I just went thru this... we had 4 girls and 4 guys... FH wanted to ask a friend and I was debating if I should ask someone else... I too like symmetry and having everything even, but I wound up leaving it as is. FH asked his friend and now one girls has 2 partners - lucky chick! I decided not to worry about uneveness b/c no one will even care taht there is an extra guy... but do what is best for you guys. WE had already ordered dresses and with 2 girls out of statte I d din't want to complicate things anymore... Good luck!

qtdimps23 Posted: Jan 24, 2007 09:09 AM

Re: DILEMMA

Posted by Renee615

Posted by qtdimps23

i went through the same thing. i had 7 and 7 and realized i screwed up when i did ask one of my oldest friends to be a BM (we slowly lost touch over the years). so i decided to ask her and now i have 8 and 7. im just going to have one guy walk with 2 girls. and when it comes time for the first dance, ill have one of the girls come up with her boyfriend and dance. i thought of just picking someone to even it out, but i thought if i looked at pictures 10 years from now...will i still know that person?

good luck!

I've seen two girls escorted by one guy, but do you guys think it's ok to have two guys escorting one girl?

definitely...ive seen that happen too.