DILEMMA- bridesmaid issue- UPDATE

Original post by VeggieBride

Dec 16, 2008 04:16 PM

So one of my bridesmaids is the wife of one of my good friends. I dont have a lot of girl friends so I figured asking her to be my bridemaid would bring us a lot closer and would be really fun bc out of all my friends wives/girlfriends she is def one of my favorites.

So...lately their marriage has been shaky. They dont live together right now and its not looking good at all. My friend (the husband) is miserable right now and i feel a loyalty to him and im totally not choosing sides but i dont know what to do.

So I need to talk to her (havent spoken to her since all this has started about a month or so ago) and i just want to tell her straight up that im not kicking her out of my wedding but i totally understand if she wants out but i dont want it to sound like i WANT her out because i dont. I just dont want her to feel uncomfortable.

Does anyone have any advice???

pandafish519 Posted: Dec 18, 2008 03:30 PM

Re: DILEMMA- bridesmaid issue- UPDATE

Posted by VeggieBride

So....she just called me. This is the first time talking to her since everything started.

They are getting divorced . So i told her i understood if she wanted out and she agreed and said she just can't do it. I feel so bad for her and i wish i could say something to help but i just drew a blank.

Anyway...i feel like its a big weight lifted but i feel so bad for her.

that's so sad, but at least it was resolved. i'm sure it was so much on your shoulders and hers too and i think it will be better for everyone.

Dani777 Posted: Dec 18, 2008 03:39 PM

Re: DILEMMA- bridesmaid issue- UPDATE

That is very sad...but at least its one less thing on your plate...

Nitania13 Posted: Dec 18, 2008 04:25 PM

Re: DILEMMA- bridesmaid issue- UPDATE

I would talk to her, but I wouldn't bring up initially having her opt out of the bridal party. Just ask her how she's doing and feeling. Talk to her about what's going on while staying impartial and if she's okay, I'm sure the wedding will come up on it's own, so see if she mentions feeling nervous about being in the bridal party. If SHE does, then mention that you support whatever decision that she makes and that you understand how she feels. But I just think if you suggest it, there's no way to not make it uncomfortable.