Dishonest 'Friend'

Ok ladies - I already know how I feel about this, and what I'd like to do about it, but I thought I'd share and get some input.....

How would you approach a girl that lies to you to suit her own needs? This really really really pi$$es me off!!! I won't go into detail, but for example If she feels like she'd have a better time with someone else or doing something other than what you are she can't stand up and say 'I can't come, I'm going...............' that's too diffucult instead she lies to you.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Re: Dishonest 'Friend'

I would say it depends on how long you've known her and how good of a friend she's been in the past - if she is a new friend or only an aquaintance, I would drop her. I have a best friend of about 18 years who is a chronic liar like that - it gets very annoying, but I kind of just accept it and deal with it becuase she has done many things for me in the past, and she will always be my best friend....I don't know why some people are compelled to lie.

Re: Dishonest 'Friend'

You have already decided how you feel about this, and nothing we say will make it different (I'm guessing)
I have a friend like that. She is very dear to me and while she often will change plans because something better came along, it doesn't bother me bc she is honest about it. She has never broken firm plans, with a reservation etc., and maybe thats why it doesn't bother me.

Sorry you have to deal with this. I hope she is not in your BP

Re: Dishonest 'Friend'

Kate, I probably feel the same way you do. I know me -- I'd confront her immediately and if I dont like the result, I'd drop her like a bad habit -- sorry to come off so strong, but I hate BS like that and never tolerate it with my friends.

Re: Dishonest 'Friend'

I'm with Lizlen on this... who has time for that kind of crap?

Re: Dishonest 'Friend'

I agree with Liz too, why have friends like that when you could have enemies that lie? I don't think you need the frustration and friendships are supposed to bring joy into your life and when they don't, they are not worth the effort, in my opinion.

Re: Dishonest 'Friend'

Have you ever spoken to her about it? Maybe before you end your friendship (unless its not one that you concider a close friendship) you should ask her why she does this..

Re: Dishonest 'Friend'

I had a friend who did this on occasion. I knew her for many years and we were good friends so I turned a blind eye to it for a long time even though I knew she was lying. But then the lying started to get more serious (went from small white lies to big whoppers) and I had to end the friendship. There is no excuse for being a bold face liar - it insults my intelligence for one and it shows me that the friend has no integrity.

On the other hand, I have another friend who lies every now and again because she is just too embarassed to tell the truth. She doesnt do it to hurt anyone, only to save herself from looking bad (like contining to see an abusive boyfriend). I know I cant change her habits but I still think she is a good friend so I deal with it.

Re: Dishonest 'Friend'

I have a long-time friend like that. She doesn't maliciously(sp?) lie, she just always 'has something to do' WHATEVER!! (I think it's funny)

Re: Dishonest 'Friend'

I knew someone like that. She would tell one person one lie and another person a different one just to CREATE drama and then go crazy trying to keep everyone apart.

I honestly don't know what's wrong with her and wondered what kind of joy she would get by getting everyone else all worked up. I really think she would lie about the time of day. I don't speak to her anymore.

Life can be hard enough without your 'friends' making it even more difficult.

I just want to add that she would make up a lie to break plans - hers were more personal and mean spirited.

Re: Dishonest 'Friend'

Thanks ladies. I've cooled down. JPSGIRL and Dubliner pretty much hit the nail on the head.

She is a very old and dear friend - but constantly feels the need to keep things from me. And on some occasions blantantly lie. She probably thinks that if she lies she still gets to do what she what to do, and she won't hurt my feelings (or hear objection!) But I think the reason it bothers me is because I ALWAYS find out the truth!!!!!

I would confront her but I think I might explode if she tried to cover it up with another lie. Which she has also done before!

Thanks for letting me vent.....