Disrespecting the Elderly...

I overheard a lady shopping with her elderly mom... (They were about ages 60 and 90, I actually heard her mention that her mom was 90 to someone)...

Well they were just shopping for clothes, and the poor older lady was tired, wearing a heavy wool coat, over warm clothes, ANYONE would be uncomfortable and irritable...

As I was shopping in the course of half hour in the same area, I heard her say things to her mom like
'I NEED A BREAK FROM YOU, YOURE MAKING ME CRAZY!!! '
and the mom would respond in this weak, delicate voice, 'Im sorry, Im sorry, I just wanna go home'
Daughter: 'At home you say you dont have any clothes, I bring you here, and help you shop, and NOW you wanna go home! Im gonna RAM your HEAD into the WALL!' '
Mom: Im sorry, Im sorry.

I happened to see them again about 2 hours later! The poor mom must have been completely EXHAUSTED it was past 9pm!
and her daughter was still being very nasty, cold, and ignoring her pleas to go home...
She was 'forcing' her to buy certain things... saying 'you'll NEED 2 shirts to match those 2 pairs of pants, and you ONLY have ONE nightgown left, you NEED TWO for the winter' and the poor little mom was so passive, tired, apologetic and sad...

I felt so crushed for her...

I know we all feel at the end of our ropes at times with everything in life, but I cant imagine EVER saying these things to my mom, grandmother or ANYONE at all....

I felt like it was borderline ABUSE!

I told a friend about it today, and she said she would have said something... I just felt awkward popping into their 'conversation'...

What would you have done?

Horrible!!!

I have such a heart for the elderly....I will literlly wait outside and hold the door if I see an elderly person coming...

I only have one grandparent left, my Grandma on my Moms side...and if ANYONE ever spoke to my grandma that way, I would ram their head into a wall! I looove little old people..they have so much history and love to talk about things...I respect what they sacrificed, what they did in ther lives and how they improved the world to make it a better place for us...

I am truly hurt and disgusted by Assholes who do that to the elderly....they are not iin the shape they used to be, and an old lady who is tired should not have to apologize to her daughter....how sad...that fricken daughter must have just wnated to spend her money...poor poor lil old lady

I probably would do nothing...


but I couldn't believe this weekend...DH and I were waiting for a table at our local breakfast spot...we were the only ones waiting so we were sitting in the setas they have...then a bunch of people came in to put their name on the list and there was 2 elderly women...I nudged Dh to get up and told the women to take our seats and this young girl (20s) in athletic gear went over to sit down!!!

I couldn't believe it...

ERica

In THAT case, I would have said something to the little teeny bopper brat!

Ugh! That's awful! I am so close with my grandma...I could never treat her like that

That's terrible I would never treat my grandmother like that, or any elderly person for that matter.

At my night job ud be amazed at how many people talk to their elderly parents so rudley.. Its a disgrace!

Unfortunately as people age they can often become extremely difficult to deal with. Those who care for them can become frustrated and they take it out on them. I am not excusing the behavior of this particular person, because I don't think there is any excuse for this sort of behavoir. I probably would not have done anything either, although more because it could be that the daughter is incredibly stressed caring for her mother and my saying something might have made it worse.

It is a shame that our elderly are considered a burden and not revered as they are in many other countries.

That is so terrible and disturbing!
I feel totally depressed now because I keep thinking of this poor woman somewhere out there!

---

Posted by Wendy

Unfortunately as people age they can often become extremely difficult to deal with. Those who care for them can become frustrated and they take it out on them. I am not excusing the behavior of this particular person, because I don't think there is any excuse for this sort of behavoir. I probably would not have done anything either, although more because it could be that the daughter is incredibly stressed caring for her mother and my saying something might have made it worse.

It is a shame that our elderly are considered a burden and not revered as they are in many other countries.

---

I have to disagree...my grandmother had a stroke in 1975 and in 1977 my grandfather died, so my parents volunteered to be her caretaker...

my sister and I loved it, b/c our grandmother was always around and was the sweetest woman to us...and I don't think I would speak German as well today (since my grandmother died...no one in the family speaks it to each other unless they don't want someone knowing what is being said )

I never once saw my mother speak down to my grandmother and in her condition we had to be very patient...getting her into a car...bathing...even eating...everything had to be cut up for her...but I did see my mother get frustrated...she never took it out on her mother...

I am so sad for that poor woman!

I'd give ANYTHING to take my Nana shopping again.

Things like that make me so upset. I lost my Mom a few years ago and would do anything to have the opportunity to spend time with her. I honestly don't think some people realize how great it is to still have their parents.

Marks grandmother is 92 and she had been sickly lately. His mom goes there everynight after work and since she is in Queens, Mark stops by a few times a week b4 or after work and we go every weekend.

A lady in my office (not elderly) has a broken pinky.. with a screws and pins in place with a cast. She is small and a bit heavy so she can’t balance well. She sat on the bus in one of those ‘disabled seats’ and an old lady who got on later huffed and puffed at her. Even hit her bad arm with her bag. My friend told her the exact reason why she had the seat and apologized (mind you there are other seats with younger healthier people who aren’t moving for the old woman. My friend fell asleep. Just before the old lady left she whacked the heck out of my friends arm.

My friend was in so much pain it was unreal!! Old Hag.

As far as mistreating elderly. Sometimes having an elder person to care for is hard work and it wears heavily on people. They need to ask for help, but some won’t. It’s sad, but it’s just the way it goes.

Frankly, my stepmonster is 60 and I just leave her old butt home. I don’t like her and hate her even more in public. But Im not the type to waste my time on the wench. If she becomes my responsibility in the future she knows I’ll put her into any home her Social Security can afford. So I’m probably one of the evil people in the world, but I have my reasons. The point is, we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. At least this woman hasn’t dropped her off at a home, yet.

Worse.. if the woman really loves her mom, she's hurting no one but herself.

---

Posted by yabbobay

[I never once saw my mother speak down to my grandmother and in her condition we had to be very patient...getting her into a car...bathing...even eating...everything had to be cut up for her...but I did see my mother get frustrated...she never took it out on her mother...

---

My mother was like this with her father - he was 100% exhausting to be around for the 6-8 months before he passed away. She probably drew on patience she never knew she had when she spent time with him (every other weekend for a couple of years - he lived in south Jersey). She would sort of explode/vent her frustrations as soon as she was out of his company and then she was fine.

It's so difficult to handle - it's hard to see people you love lose their stength and sometimes their memories. Some people can deal with it, others can't but there is no reason to ever threaten to ram someone's head against a wall!

That is HORRIBLE. I would NEVER treat anyone nor my OWN MOM that way, no matter hold old and cranky she may get. That is MY MOM.

---

Posted by JennRenee

I am so sad for that poor woman!

I'd give ANYTHING to take my Nana shopping again.

---

Jenn I'm right with you on that one