I just found out that someone we know is getting divorced. They just got married 4 months ago. Did the whole Huge wedding etc. It was an amazing wedding, best one i have been to so far, so my question is, how would you feel, if you participated in all the prewedding festivities and then boom the couple breaks up.
Its not sitting right with me at all right now.
TheFutureMrsM
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Future Mulligan
it would annoy me if i spent a lot on gifts for them and then they divorced immediately after the wedding - it wouldnt sit right with me either....
oh wait is this why it doesn't sit well with you nicole. I was a bit confused with the way it was worded and it not sitting right with you. Is it bc of money spent on their wedding?
Its not the money, its just the whole culmination of events, how happy they were, how he cried hysterically at his wedding, and to honestly say it was an amazing wedding, where i had the time of my life. I mean i guess you feel invested (emotionally) when your invovled, FH went to his bachelor party etc.
I guess i can just be there for him, as much as possible,
loislane
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
i agree with alot of what everyone has said, i am glad to see that many of you have dealt with this situation.
This is also someone who told me that i was abnormal for having a long engagement lol.
They lived together for a while before, and i think they got married cause everyone around them was, and it was the next logical step.
I guess hearing about this yesterday, and then talking to my neighbor who is getting divorced as well, its like shocking...it also makes me wonder will this happen to me, like why am i above these things happeneing.
Its just such a bad way to think but hearing 2 divorce stories yesterday pushed me over the edge
it's true no one is above having problems, but the difference is trying to work through them. Instead of worrying about what could happen think about how you would solve it kwim?
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Future Mulligan
it would annoy me if i spent a lot on gifts for them and then they divorced immediately after the wedding - it wouldnt sit right with me either....
oh wait is this why it doesn't sit well with you nicole. I was a bit confused with the way it was worded and it not sitting right with you. Is it bc of money spent on their wedding?
Its not the money, its just the whole culmination of events, how happy they were, how he cried hysterically at his wedding, and to honestly say it was an amazing wedding, where i had the time of my life. I mean i guess you feel invested (emotionally) when your invovled, FH went to his bachelor party etc.
I guess i can just be there for him, as much as possible,
yeah see thats what i thought you meant at first, just being shocked about your friends divorcing and being sad about this. I would be more upset for my friend and worry about her/him rather than the money
LeeLee111
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
I went through the same thing with my cousin, she was dating this guy for years, she did the big wedding and we were all involved. 6 months later she was divorced and we were all shocked. Neddless to say shes 31 and engaged for the 3rd time (after 2 divorces!!!)
Butterfly123
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
I wouldnt care that I was involved in all the prewedding activities. I would just feel bad that their marriage is ending so soon. Its always terrible to see a marriage end :(
Future Mulligan
Posted:
Member since
Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
Posted by Espo22
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Future Mulligan
it would annoy me if i spent a lot on gifts for them and then they divorced immediately after the wedding - it wouldnt sit right with me either....
oh wait is this why it doesn't sit well with you nicole. I was a bit confused with the way it was worded and it not sitting right with you. Is it bc of money spent on their wedding?
Its not the money, its just the whole culmination of events, how happy they were, how he cried hysterically at his wedding, and to honestly say it was an amazing wedding, where i had the time of my life. I mean i guess you feel invested (emotionally) when your invovled, FH went to his bachelor party etc.
I guess i can just be there for him, as much as possible,
yeah see thats what i thought you meant at first, just being shocked about your friends divorcing and being sad about this. I would be more upset for my friend and worry about her/him rather than the money
well if it were a good friend i would be upset for them - but i was looking at it more like if it was just a wedding i attended for like a 2nd cousin or someone from work - b/c that would really annoy me - it bothers me alot when people dont take marriage seriously....it really really irks me.....
MayWeddingGrl
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
its not that uncommon these days. I think these couples gets caught up in the whole excitement of the wedding planning and forgot to really think about what happens after the wedding... meaning marriage. once the excitement of the wedding is over and its just the day to day life of being married, they start to reconsider everything.
loislane
Posted:
Member since
Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
Posted by Future Mulligan
Posted by Espo22
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Future Mulligan
it would annoy me if i spent a lot on gifts for them and then they divorced immediately after the wedding - it wouldnt sit right with me either....
oh wait is this why it doesn't sit well with you nicole. I was a bit confused with the way it was worded and it not sitting right with you. Is it bc of money spent on their wedding?
Its not the money, its just the whole culmination of events, how happy they were, how he cried hysterically at his wedding, and to honestly say it was an amazing wedding, where i had the time of my life. I mean i guess you feel invested (emotionally) when your invovled, FH went to his bachelor party etc.
I guess i can just be there for him, as much as possible,
yeah see thats what i thought you meant at first, just being shocked about your friends divorcing and being sad about this. I would be more upset for my friend and worry about her/him rather than the money
well if it were a good friend i would be upset for them - but i was looking at it more like if it was just a wedding i attended for like a 2nd cousin or someone from work - b/c that would really annoy me - it bothers me alot when people dont take marriage seriously....it really really irks me.....
its so true it irks me too, i mean if the reason for going through with a marriage is they don't want to be out money but it's okay for every guest to be out of money?? I think that is just insaine. I mean going into a marriage knowing good and well you don't have a fighting chance. That is so wrong.
mariana881
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
Something similar happened in our community...A couple started dating towards the end of high school, moved in together in college...got married, had a baby, and within the first year after having a baby got divorced. They are young, 25/26 right now.... Maybe because they started so young?
Its scary to think about it...FH and I have been together since junior year in college, and have lived together for almost 3 years. Id like to think we've seen eachother through ups and downs....I can't imagine getting divorced in the future...
trojo1521
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Member since
Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
It is definitely sad but it is their business. I don't see why everyone involved in the wedding would be upset...unless there was cheating going on.
If getting divorced is the best for them, then what does the time frame matter?
MrsK2008
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
One my FH and I first date was a wdding, 4 years ago.
Their marriage has been in trouble for 2 years. They started talking divorce after they bought their 1st house, now they stay together because divorce is too expensive in this bad economy.
ugh
GinaBambina08
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
4 months???
Honestly, I would be disappointed that their marriage didn't last...it would seem ridiculous to me, like they don't take marriage seriously...but I didn't pay for their big extravagant wedding, so I wouldn't really be too annoyed, it's their business
Future Mulligan
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Member since
Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
it doesnt bother me when someones marriage doesnt last - i understand that sometimes things cant be worked out and for some people they are better off apart....but when its only a few months after the wedding - that is what bothers me - its like they didnt realize what they were getting into maybe? it makes it seem like it wasnt serious to them - and i just dont like when people take it so lightly b/c marriage isnt a joke to me....i dont know its just fishy when it happens so close after the wedding....its like what could have happened that made you change your mind right after the wedding that you didnt know about before the wedding? it just seems so strange to me.....its still sad though
teenigrrl
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
this happened to FH's friend, one of our GMs. he got married in sept 06, and they filed for divorce in jan 07. they were together on and off for over 5 years, had been engaged 2x before, and always called it off. this time around, FH's friend wanted to call it off, but the bride's father threatened him somehow (not sure exactly how), and they went through with it. it was the most awkward wedding i've ever been too. the bride looked like she was on valium when walking down the aisle. thing is, FH's friend wanted FH to be his best man, and FH refused, his excuse being the groom had 3 brothers, one of them should be best man - but none of them wanted to either, but they eventually caved. FH did not, we just went as guests. FH did go to the bach party, but that's it. we all knew it was doomed from the get go.
anneandchris
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
Unfortunately I know a few people that this has happened too. One we knew from the beginning but I only met them at their wedding so had no right tell the bride she should run for dear life. The other came as a bit of suprise to everyone -- including the bride.
Unfortunately it happens and there is nothing you can do about it but be a supportive friend. Yes it is scary to think it could happen to me -- but then again ANYTHING can happen to anyone. You can't let what goes on in other people's relationships affect yours. Try and take something positive from it otherwise put it to the side.
Espo22
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Member since
Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
Posted by trojo1521
It is definitely sad but it is their business. I don't see why everyone involved in the wedding would be upset...unless there was cheating going on.
If getting divorced is the best for them, then what does the time frame matter?
very well said
alissa5517
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Re: Divorce Question-How would you feel?
Some times people who have been together and even living together for a long time get married and then break up so soon after the wedding because deep down they really do love each other and are going through life living day by day and not thinking about 20 years from now. It is not always because they are embarrassed or worried about money. As a person who got an annulment after 2 months of marriage I can say that we went into thinking we would be together for ever because I looked at things day to day. I didn't think that I deserved to be truly happy and at the time thought this is it for me. I thank god all the time that we made the hard decision to end our relationship because I am now in the MOST AMAZING relationship. When we broke up of course I thought about all of the friends and family that participated in our wedding and how it hurt them but in the long run all of my friends and family wanted me to be TRULY happy. This will not be an easy time for your friend so be there for him and give him all of the support that he needs. Please remind him that it is for the best and this relationship will help him to have a GREAT one in the future.
Sorry for the length and pouring it all out there.
