I have a problem w/ FH's best man's girl friend, and one of his grooms men's girlfriends, or should I say they have a problem w/ me. Both of the girls are cousins, and I have had a problem w/ the GM's girlfriend since HS, and we graduated in 98 (go figure, she's such a little kid), Now the cousin has been dateing FH's BM for two years now, and yes she has a problem w/ me b/c her cousin does. Personally I don't care for either one of them b/c they're such little kids, but any way Me, and BM, and GM go way back. We have been friends since I met FH which was almoust 7yrs ago. So do I tell them yes their girlfriends come can come, and leave it up to them to decline. Or do I just say no were saving money? The funny thing is eventhogh I do not care for them I still feel like I should allow them to make the choice, but then and again they probably would only do it to try to tlalk about something at the wedding I have not yet asked FH yet b/c it hasn't come up in conversation, but I know it will. I figured I'd ask you guys first
JessicaM.
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tough sitation, but if the guys are your friends, leave it up to them to make the choice. you'd continue to be the better woman...and if the girls start getting stupid, bounce their arses right out of there (I am sure some of YOUR friends would take care of that for you ) otherwise, you'd be putting the guys in an awkward place, not the best foot to start the whole process of on. if you can tolerate them, let it be. you probably won't notice (or care) that they are there anyway.
mtdr1106
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Re: Do I invite....
unfortunately - i know its not what you want to hear - but invite the GM w/guest (do not write their name on the invite) and leave it to them to decide wheter or not they will come.
it is rude to invite them w/o guest - but you could remind them on how their dates will be ALONE most of the time, will need their own transp. from church to hall, - point out all the reasons they should come solo.
i wouldn't give these girls a reason to have anything to say about you.
good luck.........
hsacks23r
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Re: Do I invite....
I would also say leve it up to them And Sounds like they would have them come sorry-- just do your thing it will be your night dont let them get to you:)
hmpena
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I agree that you should invite both guys with a date and let them make the decision. You'll be doing the right thing and hopefully won't even notice them if they come.
LuvMyFH
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What a tough one.
I think the GM's should talk to the girls, are they going to behave or act childish. Can you squash everything before the wedding and all act like adults?
It's really a tough one you don't need someone at your wedding making you feel uncomfortable or giving you nasty looks.
If the GM is asking obviously he knows the situation is bad. I would say if you could resolve the situation before the wedding they can come. Whatever happened they need to both get over it and act like grownups if they can't, they can't come don't let them ruin your day.
seta
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Re: Do I invite....
my cousin had a situation like this..and it was very difficult for her..her fh friends were dating girls who were not very nice to her in HS..and she was not too happy with having them sitting at the bridal party table..or being in her wedding pics..at the end of the day she spoke to her fh about it and he had a one on one with the groomsmen and the groomsmen were totally good with not bringing them...
i don't think this situation is b&w it is pretty gray...i don't think there is a correct answer..i would def. start with your fh and see how it goes..if it was my wedding i would not want people there with neg. energy towards the most important day of my life....however i do think it can be a sensitive subject that has to be handled carefully.
good luck.
smurray
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Re: Do I invite....
I think that's what I'm going to do...Put plus one. My MOH has brought the point out also that who cares b/c they're going to be left alone for the most part anyway.So we'll just let them sit back, and WISH THEY WERE IN MY SHOES! , b/c beleive me not to toot my own horn but they will never be in my shoes!
kaklesmay
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Re: Do I invite....
Im in a similar situation. I planted the idea that as the Best Man you wont have time to babysit your guest b/c you will be off taking pictures, etc. and am hoping they realize it may be more difficult to bring her. But I guess they should technically be allowed to bring a guest.
Some people make the rule that unless your engaged or live with someone you dont get an '& guest' invite. You could say your doing it that way. Its just a $$ issue.
Kerrycec
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sorry, but you gotta invite them, they are your GM's and BM dates. Don't sit with them, they won't do anything to ruin your day
kellwolfe
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I would also agree ....You have to invite them with a guest ....and leave it to them ....you will be the bigger person .....and there will be so much going on you really wont even know that there there......I know it stinks but its the right thing to do
jilmadison
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You really have to invite the grooms men with guests. I feel bad that you don't get along with them, but it would not be right to invite them without their girlfriends.
domnikita
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This is a sore subject, but you can't have your FH's best friend not bring his other half. I agree with some of the other ladies who say you must talk this out with FH.
The guys know the feeling between you and if these women have any ounce of goodness in them they will decline the invitation, basically will not want to give a bad vibe on your special day. On the other hand, if they do come to the wedding I'm sure you'll be too busy enjoying and being the centre of attraction to notice them.
Good luck, try not to stress too much!!!
PeterNChris
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?
roxyspark
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I think you have to invite them. This is a great lesson about getting married, now it's not all about you, but about FH and his friends and family. I know people can be petty and annoying, but by spending time thinking about it, you are giving them power. The power to annoy you and make you worry. Try to focus on other things (I'm sure you have a bunch of other important stuff) and not pay them any mind.
If they say anything, they look like the jealous losers, and you still look like the beautiful bride.
October Bliss
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I don't see how you can invite GM w/out date. I would however make it a point to discuss exactly what the responsiblities of a GM are, and how very little time they will be spending with their SO. My sister invited me to her wedding with a guest. As her MOH I was busy running around and was ever to grateful I went solo, because my date would have been abandoned for most of the evening.
