Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band? Back
eliz808 Posted: Mar 14, 2005 05:44 PM+
eliz808 MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 388 WEDDING DATE: Jun 05, 2005
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Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

Blu-ize Posted: Mar 14, 2005 05:50 PM+
Blu-ize MEMBER SINCE: 8/04 TOTAL POSTS : 8304 WEDDING DATE: Feb 28, 1998
Posted: Mar 14, 2005 05:50 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

It is my understanding that it needs to be a solid gold band that has no interuptions. It has to be a perfect circle. I borrowed one from my MIL to get married in and then put my diamond band on after we were married. I hope I explained that right. The concept should be right.
swags1016 Posted: Mar 14, 2005 05:50 PM+
swags1016 MEMBER SINCE: 3/03 TOTAL POSTS : 12228 WEDDING DATE: Jul 26, 2003
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Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

I was always told the band for the ceremony had to be a continous circle with no breaks in it- so no diamond band for the ceremony. Doesn't mean you can't put it on right after the ceremony though
eliz808 Posted: Mar 14, 2005 06:07 PM+
eliz808 MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 388 WEDDING DATE: Jun 05, 2005
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Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

thank girls
marymoon Posted: Mar 14, 2005 06:39 PM+
marymoon MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 12220 WEDDING DATE: Jun 19, 2010
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Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

It really depends on your rabbi and what s/he says you can do. but traditionally it has to be a solid gold band because it is used as consideration in the marriage contract (this is why jewish ceremonies are one ring ceremonies), and if it had gemstones, there could be doubt about if they were real or not and what the true value of the ring is. This is hos my professor (a conservative rabbi) explained it. I'm not sure what we';re going to do, because we definitely want a 2 ring ceremony, which according to jewish law would nullify the marriage... but if they say I need a solid gold band, I'll probably just get 2 wedding bands, I've heard a lot of brides on here say they were doing that
randella Posted: Mar 14, 2005 06:41 PM+
randella MEMBER SINCE: 8/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4681 WEDDING DATE: Apr 16, 2005
Posted: Mar 14, 2005 06:41 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

it depends-- it is supposed to be a solid band-- but my cantor who is marrying us says we can use anything.. we were going to use FMILs gold band for the ceremony- but since the cantor didn't care- I'd rather use the ring I am actually going to wear as my wedding band.
marymoon Posted: Mar 14, 2005 06:43 PM+
marymoon MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 12220 WEDDING DATE: Jun 19, 2010
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Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

Oh, here's n excerpt forma paper I wrote in college on Jewish Weddings..in it I cite anita Diamants 'The New Jewish Wedding', and To Be a Jew, written from an orthodox perspective..I don't remember the author's first name, but it's the book people often give kids when they get bar mitzvahed.
___________________________________
The Kiddushin occurs when the groom presents the bride with a ring and says “Be sanctified to me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel.” In this way, the rabbi or cantor does not marry the couple; they marry each other. The ring signifies kinyan or acquisition. The ring is usually made of pure gold with no stones in it. This is because there must be no misrepresentation of the ring’s value, or the marriage will be nullified. The ring should also be the groom’s property. He must give it to the bride. It is not a temporary symbol but a legal possession (Donin, 288). In more recent times, many Jewish couples have adopted the more Christian tradition of exchanging rings. Many Orthodox rabbis will not officiate at weddings where this takes place. An exchange invalidates the kinyan. However couples are increasingly seeking more equal weddings and the exchange of rings is seen more and more often (Diamant, 82).
beautyq115 Posted: Mar 14, 2005 07:52 PM+
beautyq115 MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 16776 WEDDING DATE: Jul 16, 2006
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Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

I am not a Jewish Bride...but I find this thread interesting Good Luck girls
Jax430 Posted: Mar 15, 2005 12:07 AM+
Jax430 MEMBER SINCE: 3/03 TOTAL POSTS : 7653 WEDDING DATE: Jun 27, 2004
Posted: Mar 15, 2005 12:07 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

I borrowed my mom's original gold wedding band for our ceremony and changed to my eternity band right after. DH did not own the ring...our rabbi said it was just important that he was the one who paid for the Ketubah.

We did a double ring ceremony, but I did not say anything in Hebrew, just some English made up to give the woman a part without negating the Kinyan.

My Rabbi's best line, since the groom's ring doesn't really count, 'Jackie, put the ring anywhere you want on Brad.' My 5 year old nephew and ring bearer replies, 'put it on the ring finger!'
Goldi1021 Posted: Mar 15, 2005 12:16 AM+
Goldi1021 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12766 WEDDING DATE: Feb 18, 2006
Posted: Mar 15, 2005 12:16 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

I plan on using one of my sisters solid yellow gold 'I got too fat during my pregnancy so I wore this' bands for the ceremony as The NEW JEWISH WEDDING says:

'A band made of a single pure metal, with no holes breaking the circle, represents the wholeness achieved through marriage and a hope for an unbroken union.'

I do not plan on having a band with stones until my first anniversary. After the ceremony, I will be switching to a plain band that matches my e-ring. I at least want the band too coordinate until I get the other bling.
lrs2005 Posted: Mar 15, 2005 01:06 AM+
lrs2005 MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2065 WEDDING DATE: Aug 28, 2005
Posted: Mar 15, 2005 01:06 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

Does it have to be gold or will platinum be ok? I did not really think about this and DF just bought me a plain platinum band. Will that work?
Goldi1021 Posted: Mar 15, 2005 08:29 AM+
Goldi1021 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12766 WEDDING DATE: Feb 18, 2006
Posted: Mar 15, 2005 08:29 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

Any metal is fine - except aluminum foil. Gold Silver or Platinum is just fine.
eogara Posted: Mar 15, 2005 08:32 AM+
eogara MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 6591 WEDDING DATE: Apr 03, 2005
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Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

Speak to your rabbi. A more reformed rabbi probably will not care but more conservative definitely will.
Goldi1021 Posted: Mar 15, 2005 10:00 AM+
Goldi1021 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12766 WEDDING DATE: Feb 18, 2006
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Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

The Reform movement tends to make many more allowances in terms of most traditions. I was raised in a conservative home, but tend to practice Reform Judaism. However, many Jewish people are known to be somewhat superstitious about certain things in regard to weddings. (i.e veiling ceremonies, giving knives, using scissors to open presents etc.) They are even superstitious when it comes to the births of children. A traditional Jewish family would not bring anything for the baby into their home until after the child is born. Layettes are ordered and paid for but not brought into the home until the child is born. I am not religious, but I am observant within Reform Judaism. I simply prefer to follow the traditions I believe in. Holes in a ring? Not for me. I like the symbolism of what a solid band means. I would simply switch the band during Yichud (when a couple breaks bread together as man and wife for the first time).
Ladybug63 Posted: Mar 15, 2005 10:39 AM+
Ladybug63 MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1098 WEDDING DATE: Sep 23, 2005
Posted: Mar 15, 2005 10:39 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

I'm not Jewish but my Godmother is! Don't ask
Anyway she insists that I am married with a solid, unbroken Gold band...from a happy marriage.
I think she may have added that happy marriage think but never the less, I'm borrowing my cousins band for the ceremony and putting my real band (has diamonds) on after.
May05Bride Posted: Mar 15, 2005 11:02 AM+
May05Bride MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 4006 WEDDING DATE: May 29, 2005
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Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

We are getting married by a reform Cantor and he said what ever we decide is fine with him. We chose to go with a solid band.. since when I travel for my job I would want to leave the diamond band at home and that way I will also have a solid band that I will take with me.
sophie78 Posted: Mar 15, 2005 11:56 AM+
sophie78 MEMBER SINCE: 4/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3426 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2004
Posted: Mar 15, 2005 11:56 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

We had an interfaith ceremony. The rabbi did not care, so I went with the eternity ring.
marymoon Posted: Mar 15, 2005 12:02 PM+
marymoon MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 12220 WEDDING DATE: Jun 19, 2010
Posted: Mar 15, 2005 12:02 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

Read up on it. It completely depends on your rabbi or cantor and your personal choice. Ask your family if they have a custom.

A lot of people talk about borrowing a ring, even though traditionally it nulllfies the kinyan, as does a double rng ceremony, but traditions run the gamut. Some people have a 2 ring veremony with an eternity band or somehting borrowed, and the rabbi and cantor have no problem with it, while another may insist on sticking to the most strict guidelines
Goldi1021 Posted: Mar 15, 2005 12:56 PM+
Goldi1021 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12766 WEDDING DATE: Feb 18, 2006
Posted: Mar 15, 2005 12:56 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?


Posted by marymoon

A lot of people talk about borrowing a ring, even though traditionally it nulllfies the kinyan, as does a double rng ceremony, but traditions run the gamut. Some people have a 2 ring veremony with an eternity band or somehting borrowed, and the rabbi and cantor have no problem with it, while another may insist on sticking to the most strict guidelines



I wonder if FH 'purchased' my sisters gold band from her before the wedding for a nominal fee, and then 'gave' it to me, if that would be considered HIS to give to me at that point. Something worth asking about.
marymoon Posted: Mar 15, 2005 12:57 PM+
marymoon MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 12220 WEDDING DATE: Jun 19, 2010
Posted: Mar 15, 2005 12:57 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Do Jewish brides need to have a gold wedding ring for the ceremony or can it be a diamond band?

That could work!
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