Do most of the brides on here find themselves

Original post by wacky

Dec 06, 2002 08:30 PM

doing most of the planning and worrying? Or do I need to kick my Fh in the as..?

Jodi73 Posted: Dec 07, 2002 07:06 AM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

The best thing to do is give them a job and when they are done with one job, just give them another! Considering I have done most of the planning, it cracks me up when people ask us how the planning is coming along and he tells them we are so busy. Doesn't he mean I am so busy????

karen32 Posted: Dec 07, 2002 09:08 AM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

So far FI has been pretty involved. The one item he refuses to help with is the flowers. Can't really blame him. Everything else he has been very actively involved in - I do the research and then he gives the final OK.

stacey27 Posted: Dec 07, 2002 10:39 AM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

If you have a FH that is willing to help it is a god sent.If not well then (LOL).My FH gives me some help,the music was the most important to him.

JoRo Posted: Dec 07, 2002 10:48 AM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

totally agree with you Jodi! Jobs are good. I find myself doing most of the worrying and then FH gets involved when we do the final booking. so he gets to see it at the last stage. acckk. of course, he probably has the right idea -- don't stress about it! but he is very laid back about the 'details.' his attitude is 'yeah sure, why not.' but of course, i tend to focus on the details! but for major things, he really does help a lot (like choosing the site and food, etc.). The one area where we are totally partnering and sharing the work is the ceremony. we are both planning that equally.
the rest, as they say, is in the details, and he is happy to have me take total control of that!

Betty Posted: Dec 07, 2002 11:18 AM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

My FH has been pretty great in the planning of the wedding. I make all of the phone calls but he has been with me at every apt and we make all of the decisions together(SO FAR)

wacky Posted: Dec 07, 2002 11:21 AM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

Wow I didnt think I get back responses. I have given him a job, and its to organize the RD. But hes so laid back Im sure he will wait until the last minute, but I promise myself I would not get involved.

Thrilled Posted: Dec 07, 2002 03:08 PM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

I have to give FH 'Little Tasks' or else he wouldn't do a **** thing. So I dole out the 'Little Tasks' and he feels like he is helping in some way.

Fletch Posted: Dec 07, 2002 05:32 PM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

I agree with Thrilled. I give FH little tasks for him to work on. I am ok with doing most of the planning but when I need him to do something I expect him to do it b/c he has had it pretty easy in terms of all the planning. He is usually good about it but like some of the others he is laid back and just assumes it will somehow get done.

LnP2003 Posted: Dec 07, 2002 06:36 PM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

oh my goodness.... i totally agree with all of you. my FH is so anti-planning, that if i didn't get on him, we wouldn't have a guest list from his parents at all!

i totally understand what you all mean. it was enough that i put it on him last night that i want him to come with me to go & meet up with linda @ linda's lovelies so that he can look through catalogs so as to see exactly what he wants to give his guys @ the RD. he wanted to give them sterling silver flasks for the day of the wedding.... HULLOOOOOO I'M NOT EVEN TRYING TO GIVE ANYONE THAT IMAGE!!!

WithThisRing Posted: Dec 07, 2002 10:34 PM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

I actually pick things out and show him and he narrows the selection down and together we make a decision. For example I had a list of about 10 typers of bouquets and he narrowed it down to 4 and we decided on flowers like that (mind you we have 2 years and i dont even have my dress, but he was just helping me)

Things like stationary, my stuff he isnt really involved it, but things like the vendors I do a lot of the research and he and I sit down and talk things out.

A real good example: Hall search. I loved one hall and he loved a different hall. We sat for 3 hours and pro and conned both halls. We looked at the menu, the payment options and we talked about who we spoke to at each hall and how they made us feel, etc... and after talking i realized the hall he loved really was the hall for us and i wound up falling in love with our hall and couldnt wait to sign the contract.

Things have been really good for us.

JodiBabe Posted: Dec 07, 2002 10:45 PM

Re: Do most of the brides on here find themselves

I have done most of the planning but when I ask FH to do something or I set up an appt. he has no problem doing it or being there. He told me I can have anything I want for the wedding so he does leave alot of it for me to make final decisions but we do talk things through first.