the fact that they are debating the dress now after so much time is unacceptable- i agree with you on that one. that's annoying.
i am going to give my honest opinion as well... if i was in your BP i would be angry at the fact that you are dictating what my hair color needs to be and whether or not i decide to get a new tattoo. that's definitely unreasonable. like someone else on this post stated- it's not worth losing your friends over your BP. Take a step back and see how you would feel if these demands were placed on you... just giving my honest opinion! truthfully, we decided no bridal party because it can be too much on people! good luck and i hope it works out!
I actually didn't say anything to her about her hair or the Tatt. I just kept it to myself....
At this point I have no energy and after 17 months of planning I just want to get married and get it over with.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do we ask too much as brides?
Posted by little34
I have to give my opinion...
I think the only thing that you can be mad at is that they are changing their minds on the dress that they picked with little time before the wedding...
the hair color and tats is really their choice take them or leave them...I would be really offended if my friend got mad at me for my hair color choice or visible tats..... we take our friends as they are and if they want to ink themselves up or change their hair that is a part of them. I would be offended.
JMHO I think you are asking too much asking them to wait to get tats and or change their hair color...if it is that much of an issue ask them to not be in your wedding but be prepared to hurt a friendship....in the end try to keep in mind there are much bigger things in life to stress about then hair color and tats.
Some people will be dealing with family illnesses, parents not being able to see them get married, financial strain.....be lucky if none of that touches you and just let things go. As much as we want everything perfect, no matter what people look like, the weather, etc etc your day will be great no matter what because you are marrying the man of your dreams... let everything else go.
I agree with the hair and tat comment. You said drastic color changes? what color did they do? but i change my hair all the time, and if i change it, its reall a decision i make for myself and not to ruin anyones wedding. If a friend asked me to be her bm and is planning for a wedding 1-2 years away, i would hope she doesnt expect me not to change my hair color at all during that time. I was a bm last year and i chopped all my hair off about 3 months before her wedding. I desperately needed to bc i had 5-6 inches of just fried damaged hair. She didnt mind at all, and she told us from the beginning we can do whatever we want with our hair she doesnt care so i knew she wouldn't mind.
Dont worry if the tats are a big issue for you, there is make up that can cover it up. And if the hair is an issue, remember that it can always be changed, theres still 6 months.
MrsKtoBe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do we ask too much as brides?
I'm going to totally disagree with most of us i guess. I've been in weddings and the truth is, you ask them and the only thing they are responsible for is buying their outfit, doing what you say with their hair, and showing up.
If your friends love blue hair and tattoos, you knew they were that way before you asked them. The one time my bride-friend treated us like little barbie dolls, it did serious damage to our relationship. (she went as far as to tell the entire bridal party 'if you get pregnant, you're out') At the end of the day, everyone will be looking at you, not them, so I would cut them some slack. JMO.
JoAnnJuneBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do we ask too much as brides?
Posted by Espo22
Posted by little34
I have to give my opinion...
I think the only thing that you can be mad at is that they are changing their minds on the dress that they picked with little time before the wedding...
the hair color and tats is really their choice take them or leave them...I would be really offended if my friend got mad at me for my hair color choice or visible tats..... we take our friends as they are and if they want to ink themselves up or change their hair that is a part of them. I would be offended.
JMHO I think you are asking too much asking them to wait to get tats and or change their hair color...if it is that much of an issue ask them to not be in your wedding but be prepared to hurt a friendship....in the end try to keep in mind there are much bigger things in life to stress about then hair color and tats.
Some people will be dealing with family illnesses, parents not being able to see them get married, financial strain.....be lucky if none of that touches you and just let things go. As much as we want everything perfect, no matter what people look like, the weather, etc etc your day will be great no matter what because you are marrying the man of your dreams... let everything else go.
I agree with the hair and tat comment. You said drastic color changes? what color did they do? but i change my hair all the time, and if i change it, its reall a decision i make for myself and not to ruin anyones wedding. If a friend asked me to be her bm and is planning for a wedding 1-2 years away, i would hope she doesnt expect me not to change my hair color at all during that time. I was a bm last year and i chopped all my hair off about 3 months before her wedding. I desperately needed to bc i had 5-6 inches of just fried damaged hair. She didnt mind at all, and she told us from the beginning we can do whatever we want with our hair she doesnt care so i knew she wouldn't mind.
Dont worry if the tats are a big issue for you, there is make up that can cover it up. And if the hair is an issue, remember that it can always be changed, theres still 6 months.
I have to agree for the reason that I had my hair dyed for a wedding once. I mean I didn't dye it pink or blue..lol but needless to say the bride expected me to cut it and dye it back. Needless to say I was about to cancel that check and drop out until her FH who is a friend put her in her place. She later came and told me she was just stressed over the wedding and I have forgiven her ever since!! Take a breather Honey and rethink your battles. You will laughing at this in 6 months..HTH
Jess and Jon
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do we ask too much as brides?
My closest friends have tattoes and I chose a dress with their input that would cover up the visible ones. However, I love my friends just how they are but they also didn't feel comfortable with visible tattoes at the wedding. Hair color-- I dyed my hair black in college this was 2000 and my cousin Jen made me get my hair striped before HER wedding. It hurt my feelings and I still miss my black hair.
I have been a bridesmaid 4 times and I just go with the flow and my ladies have done the same as I was in all their parties.
Its only one day at the end of it all. Keep peace and buy some shawls and call it a day!
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do we ask too much as brides?
Posted by 9509Bride
Removed due to lack of energy.
i realize this is prob not what you wanted to hear when you decided to make this post, but i think its better that girls on here are being truthful with you.... dont worry, it will all pass
put yourself in their shoes... im sure you'd feel a bit differently
