Do you and FH ever...

Raineyday Posted: Jul 01, 2009 01:36 PM

Do you and FH ever...

Argue??
Of course, we all argue, but I've noticed that lately maybe due to all the wedding planning, tension seems to be higher and we are arguing more
We make up of course, but sometimes it worries me because I dont want to get too close to the wedding and have a huge fight
I guess I just look at arguments differently now that we are engaged and planning our weding and not just dating...

Any insight ladies???

TIA

marinai7 Posted: Jul 01, 2009 01:42 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

Of course everyone ends up having an argument or disagreement. ESPECIALLY with all the planning and craziness. When we were looking at places (12 in total), we were going crazy. I think the key is to just step back a minute and see the big picture - you're obviously getting married for a reason and sometimes it gets so overwhelming that you just lose sight of why you're doing all of this. My fiance and I don't really argue in our day to day, so we promised not to let this get to us. If we are having a tough time with planning and etc, we agreed to just stop and say 'We're getting married and all this planning will be over soon, so let's just try to enjoy being engaged'. Of course, it's easier said than done, but if we stop and think about why we are going through all of this for 1 day, we realize that in the end, we'll be married for life and should just be happy we found our soulmates. Hope this helps and sorry for the long response.

regy_k Posted: Jul 01, 2009 01:44 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

we definitely started arguining more after getting engaged, and talking to some married gf's they said the same thing about when they got engaged.
I think its normal. the feeling get hightened, there is tension in the air due to money, living arrangements, wedding stuff. also I think this is the 1st time that we make a 'forever plan'. it is a bit scary and all of a sudden every little thing becomes 'is this is how my life will be for the REST OF MY LIFE???'.
my advice is to not let things get escalate to huge blown out arguments. try to keep it in proportions. its not easy, and me and my FH still have humangous fights but def not as much as right after we got engaged.

HTH

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Jul 01, 2009 01:45 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

arguing is normal... if you didnt do it, i'd say you prob arent communicating enough....

fh & i argue on a daily basis now that the wedding is so close... we are both very high-strung lately so its inevitable... we get over it but it gets really rough at times.. this is life, this is marriage...

dont let it get ya down! you'll have many ups and downs throughout the process... as long as they arent very serious concerns, they it'll all pass

Raineyday Posted: Jul 01, 2009 01:48 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

Thanks girls...its like somethings you know but it helps to hear it from others. And yes...looking at the 'BIG Picture' is always key. I especially agree with the heightened emotions and the financial aspects sometimes...it just helps to vent with others outside of my circle sometimes....Thanks Again!

Soon2bShea Posted: Jul 01, 2009 01:53 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

FH and I don't really argue alot (yet lol) but when we do it's usually money related. I stress too much about money and he doesn't stress at all.

MarjorieFrank Posted: Jul 01, 2009 02:05 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

Posted by Soon2bShea

FH and I don't really argue alot (yet lol) but when we do it's usually money related. I stress too much about money and he doesn't stress at all.

This is exactly our situation.

To the OP.. it is normal to argue while planning a wedding. So many decisions have to be made and so much money is spent. Everyone's stress levels go thorugh the roof. Maybe you can set aside a long weekend to not talk about or discuss the wedding at all and see how (hopefully) stress free and relaxing it is!

MrsCM Posted: Jul 01, 2009 02:06 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

We never argued until recently

coldasice217 Posted: Jul 01, 2009 02:08 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

Since the day we got engaged we've been pretty much non-stop arguing. It's never BAD, just constant and draining.

MikesBride2B Posted: Jul 01, 2009 03:00 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

We more bicker than argue. We get into little snits, he or I will be angry for a couple of minutes and then we'll go back to normal like nothing happened.

FH is incapable of holding grudges and its hard for me to stay angry at someone who is not angry at me haha...so its pretty much peaceful.

PROBM Posted: Jul 01, 2009 03:01 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

new situations are arising and you just need time and pracrice fighting and if u r in a health relatiosnhip it will eventually become constructive arguing or one of you will learn to walk away and laugh

Katlyco Posted: Jul 01, 2009 03:06 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

I am totally with you! Of course we use to argue before but I have to admit since we've started planning our wedding the arguments are a little intense. I think FH is a little over-welmed since he will be paying for most of the wedding. I've tried to back off with planning a little bit and let him breathe.

It's frustrating, but I know it's just because we want to do so much to make our day special.

Don't worry, we all go through our little funks.

LadyDuda81509 Posted: Jul 01, 2009 03:33 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

we started arguing alot when we first moved in with each other! lately its been better!
soo much stressing us out!! its bound to happen

take time every now and then and remember why you fell in love! do something special and dont even mention the wedding or anything that has to do with it for the night!

lori7570 Posted: Jul 01, 2009 03:36 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

I was actually thinking about this today....we've been arguing a lot over the past month or so....but we've had a ton of stressors so I attribute it to that...but it still *****!!

Raineyday Posted: Jul 01, 2009 03:48 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

Posted by PROBM

new situations are arising and you just need time and pracrice fighting and if u r in a health relatiosnhip it will eventually become constructive arguing or one of you will learn to walk away and laugh

Good point!

scatteredx12 Posted: Jul 01, 2009 04:06 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

We've definitely been arguing more ever since we got engaged, especially because we moved in together just days before we got engaged so everything is new to us. I'd say not to worry about it... FH and I may argue more than we used to but I know it's because of the stress and planning and things like that. It's normal and healthy to argue. If you didn't argue, it would probably mean that you were holding stuff in and it would eventually get out and lead to a HUGE argument. Relax. Things will be fine.

JennyAPH Posted: Jul 01, 2009 04:41 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

FH and I just argued over glue.. yes glue...

It has alot to do with the stress of the wedding planning and money spending. We never argued as much as we do now before we got engaged...and I can honestly say its going to be alot better once this wedding is over with. Our arguments last about 1 minute though and we are back to being happy.. so thats always good.

I also think its impossible to always see eye to eye with someone.. there is often going to be a disagreement in your relationship.. even if they are small and pointless.. and now that you are making a million decisions together (for wedding planning purposes) these seem to be magnified.

las1 Posted: Jul 01, 2009 04:46 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

Yes! We did had our disagreements here and there but once the wedding planning started so did the arguments. My friend warned me it would happen. And my other friend is going through the same thing. FH gets mad that this day is all about the bride. Also he wanted a small wedding of 10 people on a beach somewhere now we are having a wedding in NJ with almost 200 people!

mariedsgn Posted: Jul 01, 2009 04:47 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

this was going to be my QOTD tomorrow - oh well!

My FH and I have been bickering alot lately - it's driving me crazy, we were never like this!!!! It's all about stupid things, and it's not like we are getting in huge fights we just bicker about something stupid, get over it and then bicker about something else stupid!!!

beebs341 Posted: Jul 01, 2009 04:57 PM

Re: Do you and FH ever...

We argue. It used to be about 'I never get to see you', or 'So you're gonna hang out with your friends tonight instead of me?'

Now its more like, 'We can't afford to live there. I told you already!' or 'No, thats not what I want'

It's like grown-up arguements. It ***** but every couple has to fight about something....otherwise, your relationship isn't real. There's probably no passion. BC even arguing is a form of passion.