that your marriage is a 50-50 partnership? That everything is split down the middle, absolutely equal?
ant n tilde
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
not married yet BUT in order to answer i need an example or clarification
do you mean love, emotional support, household chores, sacrifice?
JanuaryBride06
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
I was thinking overall.
Because a relationship is always in flux - like, if I have an emotional crisis, the man would 'man up' and then vice versa - so while it's not always a level playing field, it does work out to being even.
Does that makes sense?
chikita315
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
not at the same time
but in the end, it nets down to that
ant n tilde
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
yes it makes sense
and for our relationship - it is actually seasonal
from April to October, he is working from 6AM to 11PM 7 days a week. So I am lonely and annoyed all the time. I make a billion sacrifices and try not to bug him too much because he is tired and stressed.
From November to March, he works when he feels like it. So it is pay back time. We get to do what I want when I want. He can't complain to me about being tired or overworked and he has to cut me some slack because I still have to work full time.
in the end it evens out.
JessicaM.
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
b/c like you said, relationships are always in flux, I'll answer for the present and say yes.
it's not always like this, and sometimes I feel like I am pulling waaaayyy more than my fair share, but then again, the bomb may say the same thing about himself...
it's what makes relationships SUCK and what makes them awesome...b/c when you feel burdened, you want relief from the burden (ie OUT) but when it IS equally shared, you and your union feel virtually unstoppable.
cindyandkevin
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
Overall, yes. I def agree that it's flux, it's not always a happy 50/50 split right down the middle as much as we try to make it that way. Sometimes one gives a little more than the other and then vice versa, as long as you can look at your relationship as a whole and say things are fair then you're good to go!!
ChrissynRicky
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
We don't really look at it as 50/50...we look at it as 'i bring to the table' and 'he brings to the table' - in the end it does equal 100%, but sometimes I give 40%, he gives 60% etc...
That relates to monetary and emotional support, needs, wants, etc.
However, one thing that there is NO COMPROMISE on is that rent/mortage will ALWAYS be split evenly between us.
Naunie
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
it ebbs and flows. There are different areas where he gives 80% and I barely muster up 20%. Then there are things I do that are 90%. But I definitely see it as a fair partnership. You have to step back and really itemize things. Yeah, he doesn't clean, but he works 80 hours a week. Yeah, I don't pull my hair globs out of the drain, but I make a mean sandwich.
lipglossjunky73
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
It was until we had the baby. Then it was like 70/30 (me)
We had a long talk. Many long talks. Its beginning to even out again.
klanghan
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
I think it should be that way, but I don't think it is. It has a way of working out though
MJDoc12
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
i think relationships aren't necessarily 50/50 -- i think at different times they can be mixed--like 70/30....with one person giving and the other person needing/taking. at some points one person might be the 'giver' while the other is the 'taker' -- the key is making sure that you can even out the giving/taking, and swapping roles now and again.
there are times when I need DH to pamper me and he does--but that goes both ways when he needs me to be the giving one. i think that is what can balance out a marriage. the problem arises when the roles never switch and one is ALWAYS taking and one is always giving.
itslaurie.
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
Posted by Naunie Yeah, I don't pull my hair globs out of the drain
you and me both
oh, and to answer the question - no.
SuzBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
no - maybe some people get it close 52.6% to 47.4%. Not sure how DH and I even out.
CLMon7906
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
I believe it. My husband does not.
I think we're both equal and share teh same amount of blame/responsibilty and all that jazz. Sometimes it seems lopsided, but I'm also a control freak, and I feel I do more 'chores' at times. We're both equally lazy as well.
rojerono
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
My marriage is not equal. But it is a work in progress. We are constantly evolving and I think we are on the right track toward a more even partnership.
rojerono
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you believe (serious question - sorry)
Posted by Naunie
it ebbs and flows. There are different areas where he gives 80% and I barely muster up 20%. Then there are things I do that are 90%. But I definitely see it as a fair partnership. You have to step back and really itemize things. Yeah, he doesn't clean, but he works 80 hours a week. Yeah, I don't pull my hair globs out of the drain, but I make a mean sandwich.
