i feel really guilty writing this... but i hope you will understand...
recently, with my shower and all, we've discovered that fh's immediate family is... well, less than generous when it comes to presents. and we're now getting hints here and there (too long to explain) that the wedding is going to be no better...
so fh gets upset because he feels bad that his family (who is perfectly well-off) doesn't help us much at all, whereas my family is over-the-top generous. and while i tell him that it doesn't matter, it's only money - the truth is that i'm getting more and more resentful of his family... ETA: and what makes it worse is that i am mortified to tell my family what fh's family buys us, because then they get so upset for us, and i don't want my family to think badly of his!!!
i hate myself for feeling this way
katebloom99
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Re: do you ever feel like...
I feel the same way - I am totally acting in ways I never thoguht i would - and I am embarassed but I can't stop!!!!!
About certain family member being less than generous:
I have a similar situation - most of my extended family is from the midwest where they give gifts (small gifts) instead of money. Thats just how it is. It is frustrating to me b/c these family members also happen to be pretty well-off.
I was b****ing to my brother about it and then started crying b/c i was so embarassed to be upset about this.
And here is what he asked me that put it all in perspective: 'If you knew before-hand that you would not get any money or gifts, would you still have planned this wedding?'
And without hesitating I said YES!!! We are having this wedding b/c we want it and it will be great. It is not a way to get money from relatives - but rather a way to celbrate the best thing that has ever happened to us.
Hope this helps. But please, understand - we all have our bridzilla moments. And I know we are all nice people in normal circumstances!!
lauren16
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Re: do you ever feel like...
Oh I am so sorry girls!!! This is such a tough issue and of course it makes people emotional. You really have not much control over how generous people are going to be and it's frustrating.
Do any of you have problems with friends and family bugging you about not seeing you enough? For us it's just neverending - once we see one group, another group feels left out, then our parents need time, then high school friends, then work friends, then college friends, then siblings, plus we have tough jobs that require travel and classes...and then reunions and all of this wedding planning! - heaven forbid I get sick, people just won't quit making us feel guilty for not having time and wanting a little bit of peace and quiet for ourselves. I used to be miss social when I was single, and now our time has to be split in half (even more so we have time together) - noone is being easy. It's crazy!!!
