Do you find yourself replying 'no' to destination weddings?

Original post by jenlen

Sep 28, 2007 11:43 PM

I've had several of my friends decide to do destination wedding recently...and I feel so bad because I can never attend them.

One of my really close childhood friends is doing a cruise to bermuda, which I had to decline. She was okay with that since she's doing a really big reception back here afterwards (which I am attending).

Then another good friend is doing it in Hawaii (she's originally from Hawaii, so for her, it's cheaper because her parents still live there, so she can stay with them). But hawaii's not exactly a weekend trip and airfare alone would cost at least 1K for FH and I. She kind of got upset when I told her I may not be able to attend her wedding in Hawaii...

And normally, how far in advance is she supposed to tell her guests about the wedding and the plans? She just got engaged last month and chose May 2008 as her wedding date. But nothing is set yet...no reception hall, no hotel block...so it makes it kind of hard to plan.

They sound like so much fun, but they are so $$$$. I also feel bad taking a week off at a time so soon after I started my job.

brady37 Posted: Sep 30, 2007 09:02 PM

Re: Do you find yourself replying 'no' to destination weddings?

I had a destination wedding in Ireland... I knew going into it that a lot of my friends weren't going to come. As a bride, you can't expect people to take on the expense of going to your wedding, especially if you don't give ample notice (I sent save the dates out a year in advance). Some of my closest friends, friends that if I got married here would have probably been in my bridal party, didn't come. I was disappointed not to have them there, but at the same time I understood that they couldn't afford it.

jessica08bride Posted: Sep 30, 2007 09:25 PM

Re: Do you find yourself replying 'no' to destination weddings?

ive attended every destination wedding we've been invited to which has been about 4. they are so much fun! and we just make a vacation out of it. if we couldnt take so many days off, we made a long weekend out of it.

Kara and Todd Posted: Sep 30, 2007 09:32 PM

Re: Do you find yourself replying 'no' to destination weddings?

People cannot throw a destination wedding and NOT understand that MANY people will be unable to go because of the cost and time constraints.

I've never been invited to a destination wedding... It would have to be family or a VERY close friend for me to go, and then we'd have to be able to easily afford and make a vacation out of it, too. It's a LOT of money to expect people to spend. If I CAN go, I will -- but people DO have to understand that not everyone can afford it!

ETA - On top of that, brides also need to realize that, even if someone can technically afford it, that it may not be in their plan to spend thousands of dollars to attend a DW. It's not because they dislike or are being unkind -- it's because it's not a financial commitment they are willing or able to make.

FWs are fine -- you just have to have an understanding that many people won't be able to make it.

little34 Posted: Sep 30, 2007 10:09 PM

Re: Do you find yourself replying 'no' to destination weddings?

I have never been invited to one but it would have to be a best friend for me to go...it is just so expensive!! I wouldnt feel bad...I think that couples understand when they plan a destination wedding that many people, even good friends, might not be able to go.

jgl Posted: Sep 30, 2007 10:14 PM

Re: Do you find yourself replying 'no' to destination weddings?

i hear ya. its sad not to be able to attend but it does make it harder for people. I love the idea of destination weddings as long as the people doing it are okay with the fact that not everyone can go.

My cousin got married in jamaica and I would have loved to attend. But it would have cost us a good deal of money and it was in march,. Im a teacher and we are not off then.

jgl Posted: Sep 30, 2007 10:15 PM

Re: Do you find yourself replying 'no' to destination weddings?

Posted by Kara and Todd

ETA - On top of that, brides also need to realize that, even if someone can technically afford it, that it may not be in their plan to spend thousands of dollars to attend a DW. It's not because they dislike or are being unkind -- it's because it's not a financial commitment they are willing or able to make.

i think that is a good point. I may have the money saved, but do i want to spend it on a weekend for someones wedding or put that $ towards a week vacation? its a tough call!

ChristineAaron08 Posted: Oct 01, 2007 12:29 AM

Re: Do you find yourself replying 'no' to destination weddings?

I dont think people expect a lot of people to go to their destination. We havent been invited to any , but I could see it being realy tough to get time off work AND take a vacation.