I didn't think I would be that disappointed because we have a huge amount of guests that would have to travel to our wedding. But some people who swore they wouldn't miss it, people I felt were close friends, people I have been there for have now said no and had lame excuses.
I think it's the 'lies' that upset me more. I would rather people just say they aren't coming instead of saying they just can't afford it when they have more money than god. Or that you can't find someone to stay with your kid...hello you have an ex husband. Grrrrrr sorry just had to vent.
I know whoever is meant to be there will be and if I don't make my minimum life will go on.
Butterflybride
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I'm a ways away from sending my invitations, but I'm sure I'd be disappointed with some no's.
LADYLUV69
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I look forward to No's. I wish I had gotten more.
matron
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I was definitely hurt by some no's even though we desperately needed them. We wished some of our yeses were no's and vice versa.
hsdfl
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
Yes!!!! I didn't think I would but I am. I think I am taking it too personal. My L.I. wedding has 70 people from OOT. I knew a lot wouldn't come from the beginning but it's a little upsetting. I have not asked the reasons why. It's quite expensive to come here. $145 for hotel, $20 in gas from upstate NY, a gift. I understand. I just hope it doesn't go too far below 100 people. That is our minimum. Well those that do come will have many upgrades if the others don't show up. Lucky them! Don't stress.
daisybride
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
Don't take it too personally. If someone is really close to you then that is a different situation, but people are busy and money is also always a concern. There are many reasons that pop up that a person may not be able to attend and I am sure none of them is that you are not a priority or they do not like you. It is disappointing, but don't take it personal. Think of all the times that you couldn't make something because life got in the way. We invited 218 and we have 152 people coming. We certainly got a lot of nos but most of them were out of state and from my FIs family. They are not a very close family. The nos worked out for us because there was no way we could afford any more. I made a list of people that I absolutley wanted to invite, people that should be invited and people it would be nice to invite. All the people that I thought should absolutely be there will be, and the others will be there in spirit. Best of luck
ChristineC68
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
There were a couple of nos I was upset about - like the one from my co-worker that didn't come because she didn't have a date. (I can add, I have known her for 10 years and has never mentioned having a date in atleast 9 of them )
I didn't question anyone's reasons for not coming, I am sure they felt bad (I know I would if I couldn't attend someone's wedding) so I didn't want them put them on the spot or make them feel worse.
The reasons can also be to hide something extrememly personal. My mother hounded one of my uncles about the wedding until he finally broke & revealed a very serious yet very private situation they were dealing with that prevented them from coming to the wedding.
Stavia
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I felt really bad about certain no's. I think its very normal. Its different for brides who only got no's from people thay really didn't think would come, but when you get no's from people you thought would really come or worse yet told you they would(which happened to me too), its hard. But, trust me, on your day they will be the farest thing from your mind!
tourist
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I'm kinda of excited to see the no's. Not that we have too many invitees, but I like to thinkI am psychic, or at least intuitive, so I want to see if I am correct.
And then there is a betting aspect. We had an over/under on how many of the single friends would bring dates at a friends wedding. FH won, but I think the prize was just bragging rights.
For our wedding, we have 1 flaky friend in particular who we are betting on. Me & the hsuband of the couple mention above think he won't come & FH & the wife of the other couple thinkg yes. The loosers have to buy the winners dinner, so really its just a silly bet, since both couples will end up paying for dinner anyway.
Anyay, making a game of it, takes the stress out of it, but if someone close didn't come & didn't have a real reason, I'd be hurt.
tourist
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
Posted by matron
I was definitely hurt by some no's even though we desperately needed them. We wished some of our yeses were no's and vice versa.
I'm afraid that will happen to me- oh well
FeliciaDA
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I thought I was the only one! Everytime I'd see a 'No' I'd get a little sad .. there were a couple no's in particular that really got my emotionas kicking in and I was so bummed about!
But in retrospect we made our minimum (where we thought we wouldn't) so I'm not complaining. as it turned out we went OVER the minimum , but still not WAY past it to the point we were worried about TOO many guestst
Though we do have a few flakes here and there that I'm not sure will show up even though they said they would
jenifer99
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
Posted by Monkeybride
I think it's the 'lies' that upset me more. I would rather people just say they aren't coming instead of saying they just can't afford it when they have more money than god. I know whoever is meant to be there will be and if I don't make my minimum life will go on.
i know exactly what you mean!! my aunts in florida are giving me some ridicuouls excuse the my wedding is too close to the republican national conventon! hello, my wedding is in long island!!!! what the hell does that have to do with anything! i hate lies also! just say you don't want to come. both of them are wealthy as well. who cares. you can't worry about everyone.
LIJuneBride
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I think every bride feels that way. You plan your wedding (and your minimum) based on your list and who you think will and will not attend. Most of the people I thought wouldn't attend, didn't. But some people that I thought would definitely be there sent their regrets. Some of those I was really upset about but on your wedding day, none of those people will even enter your thoughts. Try not to take it personally. Some of those people will have good reasons and some won't, but in the end you are still getting married and you will still have a wonderful day.
CaCRmr
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I'm actually hoping for 'No's' then I can get down to my max.
bridzilla
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I know what you mean. No one from my dad's side is able to come. So he'll have no family there. Most list out of the country, but he has a cousin in Jersey that can easily come, but says he is travelling. That's a lame excuse because when we told him about it months ago he said 'of course.' I don't know.
molly25
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I was happy everytime I got a no, but thats because th emajority of the no's were people I really don't even know on fh's side(parents friends and stuff)
but 2 of my friends aren't coming and 1 had a good excuse, but the other was kind of surprising!
StepherG
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
Yes...I got upset at some 'no's'...my college roommate from NJ, who is a house wife and her husband makes insane $$$ RSVP'd 'no' after telling me she was making babysitting arrangements for her 2 kids...then she calls my other girlfriend to explain to HER why she isnt coming (can't find a babysitter)...She didn't even call ME!!! And the babysitter part would work if she wasn't surrounded by her retired father (53 years old), sister, brother, in-laws, etc...
Also, I was in her wedding 3 years ago...traveled to NJ, hotel, dress, shower, hair, makeup etc....
All I wanted was for her to ATTEND the wedding. I feel like she's a jerk.
Sorry to have vented!!
no stress bride
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
Not really cause we sent out so many extra invites that I hope we do get some no!!
oakslady
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
yup i am getting ticked at some of the lame excuses i am getting - and get this all the people who have said no so far are local !!! i kid you not the folks i thought were sure things cause they are like 5 mins from the hall said no - yet people from england are comming and my friend from zimbabwe- one of my cousins told me it is too far to travel - hello she lives in queens !!! people just make me sick - if you dont want to come just say so the lame excuses are just pathetic - sorry this turned into a vent
lorimari
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Re: Do you get upset at some No's?
I had a few no's that were unexpected and I was upset. I have a cousin who recently moved to Florida and his wife and him couldn't make it up for the wedding. I was upset but sometimes there isn't anything you can do.
